- Someday I may Learn to Forget You

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Display Cabinet

(may take awhile to load.. used a digital camera to take the pics so file size quite big..)

oh well.. something to post but too lazy to go make a new blog at the moment..

i changed my display cabinet.. changed from one that was 30x11.5x71 inch..

(click for larger pic)
sorry for the blurred picture.. forgot to put flash.. too late to take another now anyway..

to a new one that is 33.5x16.5x75 inch.. 3 sided glass display with a mirror as a fourth wall.. plus a light at the top which i dont intend to use anyway..

(click for larger pic)

and when the new tenants moved in..

voila!!!

(click for larger pic)
more space more shelves and a much nicer place to put my Gundams.. more space is good since i am adding 2 more by the end of March..

life's been great..

9:55 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, January 19, 2007

Blog's Swan Song..

this may be my last post here.. then again, maybe not.. ultimately, i'll still have to protect my privacy..

lately sensing some things that are to be that i am pretty disturbed about.. hope that i am wrong about these..

firstly, the BYG clique.. i think things may get better from the way it is now, but not that much of a chance.. the earth-shattering incident literally shattered the group, yet to some, they still think they live on Pangaea or something.. guess they didnt realise the cracks that are already present since ages ago..

secondly, Yiwen's trip to Switzerland.. much of it has to do with the recurring nightmares i had, but i'll just have to wait and see.. and hope nothing happens..

thirdly, it is kinda repulsive, but i think i know of a friend who is seducing her boss, whether consciously or subconsciously.. when the boss takes u out for lunch daily and sends u home personally, something is really, really wrong.. oh well.. perhaps she is used to it anyway..

spent the whole day chatting online.. spoke to someone about the nature of people.. and i came to a conclusion that a person is what their nature depicts them as.. it may not be what they want to be, yet that is what they are.. unchangable and irreversible.. though some can shield it with other behaviours, it results in denial and the pressure built up within will tear the person apart..

guess i'll end here.. i'll miss this blog.. almost as extensive as my old one.. 200+ post.. lasted almost as long as my old one.. almost 2 years.. and ended for almost the same reason as my old one..

10:13 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Untitled

took me awhile to recover, and much longer to faintly sense that i am not the only one reeling from the shock..

so sorry i was so selfish.. though that's my new aim, but i still feel bad bout not seeing your problems and only concentrating on mine.. sorry..

9:36 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Angel/Devil?

dead beneath the pressure,
slain by altruism,
uncertain but impatient,
the Guardian resurrects.

conflicting personalities,
good versus evil,
others versus self,
the Guardian chooses.

retaining memories,
erasing some,
different from the old,
the Guardian becomes.

11:24 PM

`` stoningg

I Quit!!

this whole week has been bad.. even though i've only been through a little more than half of it, i can already predict what will happen the next 2 days..

mainly, it is due to the fact that i absolutely HATE my job right now.. initially it is due to my mind being overloaded at the starting of the week.. so, not being able to concentrate at all, i screwed up alot of orders.. had to redo a whole stack of it.. took me the whole afternoon..

then, when it got better on tuesday, i still am not able to do my job well either.. due to the fact that it uses no brains at all, my mind wanders alot, thus distracting me and lowering my working efficiency..

for the whole of one week, i can already sense some animosity from my manager.. she's not happy with my performance at all.. but due to the fact that i only sensed it, i gave it the benefit of doubt.. which, of course, ends up benefiting everyone except me..

after yesterday's leave from work, i relaxed a little in the afternoon, and managed to straighten out some of my thoughts.. until today when someone unintentionally screwed up my mind again.. so for the whole afternoon i was mostly stoning away.. thinking and thinking and thinking.. for this reason alone i am determined to leave the job right away..

and my manager got so fed up that she signed my timesheet at 6 and left.. even though i worked till about 6.30..

oh well.. for all the negative feelings i have about my job now, it is a relief that i am able to quit by monday.. when i told my manager bout my plans she was extremely sarcastic and told me off because she requested i stayed for the whole of January and mid Feburary..

我不为己谁为我.. so i decided not to bother about her 死活 and just abandon the ship.. good riddance..

ps. i realised a trend long ago, that friends who tend to stick for me, are those who had a serious argument with me before, to the extent of a cold war.. so far i am still not able to prove myself wrong.. but i am happy for that.. thanks to those who helped me tide through this dark times of my life..

Shawn - for always being there.. whether for a movie outing or just a chit-chat.. and never hesitates to whip up any drink for me to drown my sorrows.. one 甜甜 please..

Yiwen - though small, and always being bullied by me, she never fails to lend a listening ear..

Gwen - halfway across the world, yet chatting with you about the culture over there allows me to escape the harsh reality over at my side of Earth..

incidentally, i had a big argument with all 3 of them before.. longest being with Yiwen (which ironically, is the one i knew the latest) and the shortest being with Gwen (the one i know the longest).. life is full of ironies.. just like today when i listened to 晴天 when walking in the rain..

7:29 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Black Snow

since young, i have a fascination with snow.. it is my dream to be able to live in the Alps or something, to just enjoy the snow and not give a damn about how the stupid world is revolving..

when leaving the funeral wake of my grandaunt just now, the ashes from the offering they burnt just so happened to fall around me.. all of a sudden i felt that it was snowing in Singapore.. whether black snow or white, at that moment that the world does not seem so bad after all.. there are others much worse than me, just that they are unable to voice out their sufferings..

my grandaunt is one such person.. suffering from a stroke which left her half paralysed, she was not told the truth that her husband had passed away last September for fear of a relapse.. so, while recuperating at one of her children's home, she was ignorant of the world around her..

祸不单行.. she was diagnosed with cancer, and passed away on the 6th.. i'll miss the New Year visits to her house.. the ever-jovial lady who never fails to brighten my Chinese New Year visit, though it is late in the afternoon and i am already quite tired from all the visitings..

guess she's quite happy now, on the other side with her husband at last..

11:14 PM

`` stoningg

Untitled

being dragged into the war wasnt what i had in mind.. but nevertheless i am still dragged into it.. should have expected it when i sent the email.. oh well, nothing is as i have expected these days.. and i suppose it is easier to stop the war from within than without..

but, i didnt know that it was that serious.. though i've only heard from one party, i must restrain myself from judging, lest i make a wrong move and further escalate the war..

guess i'll just sit back and see what ironies life can still heap on me..

9:03 AM

`` stoningg

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Past, Present..

when the present becomes too much to bear, i chose to indulge myself in the past..

yet, while immersing myself in the past, i tend to become oblivious to the present..

staying in the past, while soothing, is paralysisng.. conflicting interest as usual..

i resist what must be,
therefore i am not what i should be.
but this is not how it is to be,
for what must be,
will be.

2:14 PM

`` stoningg

Random Thoughts

2007 has, up till now, not been a good year for me.. first and foremost my mind is still pretty jumbled and tangled, but i got most of the loose knots sorted out, except for a few which may need time and some other things to help untangle..

when fighting a war, it is absolutely stupid to charge into battle brandishing a gun, only to realise later that the gun is not loaded at all, and the spare magazines are left back in the barracks.. that's what happened yesterday morning when i took my Basic Theory Test, the supposedly un-fail-able test.. and i flunk it.. oh well, another knot in my mind..

things at home still not getting any better, as far as i can tell.. starting to have the i-dont-wanna-go-home feeling.. i remembered the other time this kind of feeling hit me so bad was during Sec 3, on my rainbow incident.. long story.. suffice to say that if not for that rainbow in the sky i would most probably be a splat on the concrete somewhere..

so in order to keep my mind off the tangible and intangible aspects of 2007, i decided to watch Death Note 2 myself.. sort of calmed me down with the plot mostly advocating altruism.. 'for the better good' and such.. nice story, sad ending, and some doubts which i do not wanna think about for fear of adding some more knots to my already congested mind..

as far as i can say, isolation is not a bad option right now..

人要懂得知足.. 只要能够学到这一点，就不会有欲望了.. 没了欲望，伤心，愤怒和痛苦都会随着消失..

1:02 AM

`` stoningg

Friday, January 05, 2007

Roller Coaster

this two weeks had been a huge roller-coaster ride for me.. since christmas till now, there were many ups and downs, rights and lefts, even times when i am flipped upside down and shaken till my insides get tangled up and my mind seems like it is about to explode.

there were good things that came out, things that my mind sensed and did not sense.. words said and left unspoken.. but mostly things have not gone that well..

i may not interact well, but i can sense things, not emotion-wise.. though people may not tell me things, but i know them better than most people think i know..

船到桥头自然直.. 等到它直我心已被烦死了.. 只好跳下水把船逼直..

11:39 PM

`` stoningg

Erratum

i realised that i had made an error in my previous post..

regarding whether these things i've been sensing, whether from the clues my subconscious mind picked up or just from my mind overloading, i really think things would get better if it is true..

it is better for everyone this way.. i guess..

it wil also allow me to put down the load i've been dragging all these years.. one which never seemed to get lighter as i dragged it along, but rather gets heavier as time goes by.. at the same time wearing me away..

hope that with the way things are going now, i no longer have to carry on gripping onto the lever of the grenade in my heart..

3:56 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Practice What You Preach

ever since Christmas, things have not been going well, except the few outings i have with friends.. i really cant stand being at home these few days, reason being my parents are utterly disappointing me..

the Christmas Lunch event was the first of many in the week which tarnished my image of them being responsible and altruistic.. things that stand out vividly are that in the last 3 days, from the first day of the chalet..

first is the issue of sending us kids to the chalet.. my dad went upstairs to my grandparent's house for mahjong, and didnt want to send us there as his game is halfway through.. lesson 1 regarding others before self voided.. how can he do that when he has been yelling at us for doing those necessary things first before our own enjoyment??

that agitated my mother, so when buying some stuffs on the way to the chalet, she actually told some stranger off for blocking her way.. lesson 2 regarding polite to others voided.. lesson 3 regarding being angered by something does not give the right to yell at anyone else voided.. this in turn irritated me..

while checking the reciept after the purchase, she mistook a original price for a discounted price.. while i was explaining to her halfway, she just yelled at me as though i took the wrong box of drinks and it is totally my fault.. lesson 3 voided again.. so i told her to stop yelling and pointed out the discounted price.. she immediately threatened to cancel the chalet.. lesson 3 voided AGAIN!!

the chalet was a brief respite from the storm.. or so i thought.. the second night the parents came for the bbq.. my dad's voice is a little weird.. and they arent talking to each other.. guessed they argued.. even now as i typed this entry they still havent talked to each other since we children came back from the chalet.. i can sense the cold war between them..

then today when my mother signed up for the one month membership at California Gym she kept interupting the person giving us a tour.. always not giving the guide a chance to finish.. lesson 4 regarding not interupting other's voided.. then when she was asked whether she will sign up for a long term membership and why she wouldnt she gave lotsa excuses.. even my sis who is beside me sensed her reluctance to go for more exercise is the main point instead of not having much time.. lesson 5 regarding dont give excuses and just do it voided..

being the inevitable anchor of the family, how can they expect us to follow what they teach when they dont follow it themselves?

on a similar yet dissimilar note, cliques are similar to families.. they have an center anchoring the whole group.. yet, this doesnt mean that they can ignore anyone else.. while interacting with those that are more active, these anchors always dont bother and ultimately ignore those quieter ones.. please, just because u are the centre doesnt mean everyone should flock to you while you sit there and wait.. take into account those who arent able to voice out that loudly.. dont ostracize them..

ps: i am not talking about myself or anyone in particular.. being a socialising loner, i am after all not much affected by such slights.. but there are others more sensitive out there.. so please do make them feel welcomed..

btw these few days my mind seems to be on overload that i am sensing some weird things.. hope they are not true..

9:10 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Gundam + Cocktail = Good Day

hahaa.. had a fun day today.. nice, old hard work in finishing my PG Wing Zero, which still has a few more parts to put in before it is completed.. seriously it is really a zenith in Gundam designs.. not the model, but the Gundam design itself.. the model, while magnificent, has a lousier technology of construction, considering it to be a generation lesser than the PG Strike.. but still all the building experience i had did not prepare me for the complexity of construction.. the PG Wing Zero was so complex that i could not even find the wrist, only when i accidentally twisted the hand then i realised that it ACTUALLY has a wrist.. brilliant design which makes it infinitely stronger than the PG Strike's ball-socket wrist design..

but sadly, it is way lousier in mobility and posability than the Strike, and the armor still gets in the way and the joints creak alot, which give me the impression that i had accidentally caused an equivalent of a plastic muscle pull.. oh and some armor has a tendancy to fall off.. oh well..

anyway went Shawn's house for a drink with Tian Tian and Rina.. seriously the first drink is alright.. not as bad as Shawn claims.. and i absolutely love the second drink.. Tian Tian.. literally named because it is sweet at the top and sweet at the bottom, with plenty of tequila goodness in the centre.. totally fantastic..

though i can safely say none of us is drunk after two drinks each, but we were relatively high after drinking.. playing with the lightsaber and laughing loudly.. think Shawn's dad must have thought we were mad..

hope tomorrow's chalet is smooth.. since i am one of the elder there i am sort of in the in-charge committee of taking care of the young ones.. so i am hoping that no one angers me.. realised that my fuse nowadays are rather short.. must have been the recurring dreams i am having nowadays.. same few people with different setting but similar 'storylines'..

11:53 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Earthquake

a fruitless day at work.. apparently the effects of the earthquake in Taiwan was felt even in Singapore, though not literally..

the disruption of the internet and my rotting away at work do show how reliant our economy has become on cyberspace.. sensing that i was about to turn to dust, considering the fact that i was stoning so badly and the air-con above me was blasting me with strong, cold air (wind erosion), my company decided that they do not want to trouble the cleaners by clearing the would-be dust pile on my chair, so they kindly asked me to take the afternoon and tomorrow off.. which i gladly did..

and so, with the free time in the afternoon, i decided to give it another try, giving it all i've got in rallying my secondary school classmates to go see Gwendolyn off.. but still, 力不从心, my best still wasnt enough.. *sigh* oh well..

seriously, dont ask me to plan anything next time.. for security sake try not to even include me into the planning committee.. cos i seems to jinx it alot.. subconsciously misfortune seems to rub off me and to everyone else, but i am always not affected..

3:42 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Random Thoughts

i would say that it has been a hell of a week for me.. in just 4 days (considering Sunday as the start of the week), i've went through much.. and in the time being thought much regarding some things..

first is the surprise that people may sometime still contradict themselves, no matter how determined they are.. example that i had seen is that someone who practices isolation from emotions actually has a 'eye-candy'.. hahaa.. interesting conflict, but is debatable as 'eye-candy' (reminds me of happy-tree-friends) is not exactly part of any emotion at all..

on 25/12 my family had a christmas lunch with my uncle's church.. the church prepared an interesting skit regarding the value of life to each of us, and just barely touch on the religion.. i had a hunch that they didnt want to look too 'persuasive', which was quite good in my opinion.. but what disappoint me the most was my parents, who seemed extremely intolerable towards other religions.. when everyone stood to sing christmas carols (me included), they just sat down and give that impassive look.. very disappointing..

watched Night at the Museum after that with the BYG ppl.. entertaining movie, but for some reason i wasnt able to get into the movie.. even as i laugh at the jokes and the antics i dont feel much joy.. was feeling very detached even after the movie.. perhaps it was because of what happened during lunch..

26/12, ordinary day at work where i tried starving myself for lunch.. thankfully Simin brought biscuits and cookies for me, else i would have a big hole where my stomach was, it being corroded by the excess acid.. but on the way home i saw something which left a deep impression on me..

when i was in NEL on the way home, i noticed a couple standing behind me, kissing.. after some shuffling of passengers which was when i unintentionally looked at them, i realised that the girl was my AVA senior.. she was one of the 2 couples in my senior batch, having had a relationship with the AVA president.. but what struck me like a blow was that the guy was not my senior, but just some other guy.. lotsa things went through my mind, much of which was discussed and concluded but the doubt regarding those matters still rumbled through my mind..

these thoughts just literally clogged up my RAM, making my responses and thought processes extremely slow today.. whether by a stroke of luck or just coincidence, or even bad luck, the earthquake in Taiwan slowed the internet connection, rendering most of my work task impossible to complete.. so i was lucky to finish the work which was supposed to last till friday by today, and still had about an hour of slacking before i knock off.. by the way i was getting kinda tired to be typing Santoprene, Vyram and Geolast all day long..

on the train home i was debating whether to take the day off tomorrow.. Gwendolyn's going to America for her university studies.. and i was supposed to try to plan for a gathering before she leave, just like i was suppose to plan for the Death Note 2 outing.. but just like everything i tried to plan, it always screw up.. which is the reason why i always prefer to be "part of the power behind the throne instead of sitting on the throne itself"..

looking forward to a relaxing time at Shawn's house.. something which i co-planned, so should not screw up as bad as the other 2.. after which is the chalet with my cousins.. gonna have a great time with them before, during, and after the New Year countdown at Downtown East..

one more thing before i end.. i am not making any New Year Resolutions this year.. why bother promising yourself something which you know you are not able to fulfil? Do, or do not. There is not try. i choose the 'Do not' path..

9:46 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, December 25, 2006

Untitled

was supposed to be an outing for the Loner's society and the associate/affiliate members.. but many joined in along the way..

first, Jieying joined us, i.e. Shawn Tracy Simin n me, for dinner.. she was kinda stoning throughout, result of not sleeping for 24 hours.. next we met Yu Ze, Eugene, Jiasheng n Pei Yee at Starbucks and had a great laugh chatting.. they initially wanted to go Orchard for the christmas countdown, but ended up joining us as we went to Pan Pacific lounge at the atrium for a drink..

well overall not a bad day.. fulfilling morning building Gundams and an afternoon watching Advent Children and napping, with a night out drinking with friends.. if only life could be like this everyday.. i must be damn rich, though..

oh well.. tomorrow will be another day of spending too.. $9.50 for movie ticket.. not-sure-how-much for Amanda's birthday present.. dinner perhaps?

anyway.. Merry Christmas everyone..

12:33 AM

`` stoningg

Saturday, December 23, 2006

TCM

regarding my left shoulder, i went to get it treated by a chinese physician today..

as usual the massage is painful, but luckily it was not dislocated or something.. i shudder at the thought of bone relocation.. must be extremely torturous..

so instead, the physician decided to give me the next best thing.. acupuncture.. considering i kinda fear needles it was not that fun at all.. only redeeming fact is that i felt no pain.. so that's that..

the doctor next tried to use electric acupuncture, i.e. plug wires to the needles already sticking into my body and introduce electric shock.. i stood my ground and absolutely refused to let him do that, instead offering to have the needles for a longer period.. that did the trick and i was spared the electric treatment..

and he also did the glass bulb treatment.. like a big suction cup which sucks your flesh into it after he burnt the air inside the bulb and leaves a big blue-black after it is taken off.. not as bad as i thought actually..

started on my PG Wing Zero this morning at exactly 0948h.. started with part L19.. est. completion date would be around a week from now..

2:59 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, December 22, 2006

Bike Stolen

seriously, i have no idea whether i should be angry or just forget the matter altogether..

either yesterday or the day before( i dont know as i am at work or sleeping at night), some stupid jackass came and stole my bicycle.. apparently, he/she cut through the chain and took MY bicycle, and didnt even have the courtesy to dispose of the chain properly.. stupid asshole.. that bicycle was my 11 year old birthday present..

but, on second thought, it was my fault for just locking my bicycle in the corridor.. frankly i didnt even realise it was gone until my parents came home from their Batam trip and saw it missing.. i just felt weird while going home as the corridor seemed more spacious.. it never crossed my mind that my bicycle is gone..

looking on the bright side.. someone just got a early christmas present.. and it is worth quite a lot, though i dont mean monetary value.. just like every other item that i had throughout the years, the longer they stayed with me the more memories i attach to them.. though to others it may not seem much but my mind is just like a broken sieve.. no matter how hard i try i cant hold on to my memories..

10:02 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Eragon

Eragon.. though the plot is predictable, the show is still very nice.. unlike some other lousy fantasy shows, this one is able to take the viewer into the story world.. thus the 103min movie seems extremely long.. disregarding the fact that it has a part two (possibly part 3), the storyline does not hang on the ending and have a wait-till-part-2-to-find-out-more last scene..

personally, i think the dragon animation is impressive enough, but an improvement in the dragon art would be appreciated.. it looks too kind.. oh well, personal opinion..

this show reminds me of Dinotopia and Blood of the Templars.. alternate reality fantasy stories that is really able to engage me.. worth watching..

once more, nocturnal insects tried to assault me again.. a flying grasshopper actually landed on my head.. stupid creature.. so i caught it and is still deciding to put it down humanely or let it out.. hmmm..

12:15 AM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Random Thoughts

rain rain go away.. please dont ever come again..

i dont mind rain actually.. but with the recent floodings and the showers that catch me before i reach my workplace.. that i dont like..

2/3 of my family went batam this morning.. apparently they confirmed the trip yesterday.. extreme last minute planning i would think..

here comes another you-are-the-eldest-so-you-cant-do-that argument again.. i remembered the first time i tried to ask to stay over at a friend's house during Primary 6.. and after 6 years of arguing i was able to sleep over at Beien's house after BYG.. and my eldest sister got to sleep over at her friend's house yesterday.. well i guess that's what eldest child in the family do.. break barriers..

7:23 AM

`` stoningg

Monday, December 18, 2006

Untitled

18/12.. exactly one month since the start of the post 'A' level holiday..

time flies by so fast, yet it seems as though no time has passed at all.. much things happened, most of which i dont exactly remember.. my brain is more preoccupied with the 'now' than the 'then'..

well for the 'now' part.. i injured, or rather, re-injured my left shoulder.. it still hurts like crazy and cant support weight..

after the Genting fiasco, my lack of water and the cold weather did a number on my lips.. it cracked, and my throat seems to be in perpetual drought.. so the stupid me decided to buy an isotonic drink.. and now my throat is even worse and i am about to fall sick..

must be something to do with my blood concentration level.. seems as though isotonic doesnt exactly apply to me..

9:51 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Genting

i must say this is a extremely meaningful trip.. things good bad and the in-between, words spoken unspoken and forbidden, actions planned done and undone.. everything seems to have happened on this single vacation..

day one was kinda not-so-good, because everyone didnt sleep much on the bus journey, so everyone was kinda jumpy and impatient.. the day didnt go as planned.. plus some misunderstanding, which left me walking around with a pair of jeans that is in danger of dropping and exposing my undies, i must say the day didnt go that well at all..

second day was way way better, though seriously other than playing the indoor theme park i cant exactly remember much.. bowling was fun, and the brave Yiwen took the Flying Coaster.. cant imagine the fear she must have felt as that was her first big-scaled roller coaster (i think)..

third day started out extremely well, and we all had fun at the outdoor theme park.. understatement for me as i laughed till i got hyperventilation, and experienced what a stroke victim has to go through as i lost control of most of my muscles.. we had so much fun, laughing all the way, even till after dinner at the mushroom farm we were still joking and laughing.. hee hee heh heh hoi hoi goes the joke..

sadly, half of the ten of us fell sick at night, some vomitting, some diarrhea, some both.. to the extent that we had to send them to the doctors in the middle of the night.. speaking of which, that bloody clinic nurse is totally f**ked up idiotic..

me: Erm excuse me, is this medication before or after meals, cos i am not sure whether this is a cancel or tick..

nurse: Oh it doesnt matter.

me: You sure?

nurse: Er, after meal. Can't you read?

seriously, who would employ a nurse like that?

in this event, Yiwen was again the bravest of us all.. 3 jabs followed with a drip.. the pain must be terrible (i have a phobia for needles)..

well now back in Singapore, i still have trouble getting used to the life without the freedom i enjoyed up there.. that hotel room together with all my friends feels very homely..

had a Primary School gathering yesterday.. i must say after 6 years everyone's appearance changed, but the habits still stay.. as usual i was the one always picked on, but i can sense that the tone has changed.. amazingly almost half of the class turned up, considering that it was filled with last minute changes and the likes..

6:49 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Genting

back from the Genting trip.. lotsa things happened.. some good, some bad..

too tired to finish saying everything.. will update soon..

hope everyone's well now..

10:50 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Weird Happenings?

something funny is going on.. not sure what.. but i am really sensing something weird going on in my house.. and suddenly, my dad insisted i wear a pendant for protection "for this period of time"(i've never worn one since someone stole mine 6 years ago).. and refuses to tell me the reason.. i really sense something is wrong..

and last night, at around 1AM in the morning, i thought i saw something in the additional unit of my house.. not sure whether am i too tired or what, cos i am taking out my contacts.. anyway it sort of flashed past so it may just be my imagination..

anyway, wanted to post images of the completed PG Strike.. but the images all turned out blurred.. next time i guess..

11:35 PM

`` stoningg

New Bleach Movie!!!

dammit cant wait for the new Bleach Movie.. looks EXTREMELY nice.. new players and plus Rukia's Shi-Kai.. WOW!!!!

1:06 AM

`` stoningg

Thursday, December 07, 2006

finished my PG at 2301hr.. very tired now.. nuff said

11:13 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Untitled

normal day at work.. still suffering the reprecussion of not sleeping, but much much better than yesterday.. just a little awed by the amount of money spent by companies today since i am doing a little accounting in my job.. handled at least 3 invoices which have net price (basic price) of over S$500,000..

finished the arm of the PG Strike.. remaining left shoulder armor i'll finish in the weekend.. extremely tiring week, but is still one which is relatively fruitful..

also, a life in isolation isnt that bad after all.. me, myself and i without giving a damn about what the rest of the world think..

11:47 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

HELP!!!!

seriously.. tonning and work really dont get along that well together.. i am so bloody tired now i can barely open my eyes.. yet i still need to cheong another 1 hr of work.. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

4:52 PM

`` stoningg

Busy Busy Busy

been very busy these few days.. so much so that i've neglected my PG Strike Gundam.. poor guy is still kneeling there without his left arm..

its lunch at work here.. managed to get my assistant in-charge's place for awhile to slack.. furthest i can get from the GM's office.. cos i wouldnt dare to do any 'monkey business', as some would call it, right in front of the General Manager's office.. my head will roll even before i start..

anyway today's extremely tiring.. ton at Beien's house last night bbq-ing and playing mahjong all the way.. and we sent Hu Nan off at the airport this morning.. haix.. wondering when is he coming back..

so here i am in office, been nodding off since just 15 mins into work.. so i decided to risk it.. since i would get scolded for sleeping anyway, why not listen to my mp3 while working.. so i did and no one said anything.. well actually those colleagues cant cos i know they do that, but i am lucky that the GM stayed in her office for the whole morning.. actually asked someone to help keep me awake by chatting online.. even risked my life to sign in.. but that person never showed up.. oh well..

(whew almost kena caught by a colleague for blogging.. she peeked into the cubicle.. luckily i heard her footsteps first..)

two caucasian tourist approached me on the MRT from Changi Airport.. asked for places to experience Singapore's culture.. i was extremely stumped by their question.. frankly speaking, even if i am not so drowsy from the lack of sleep i still wouldnt be able to give a good answer.. so i first blabbered about Orchard Road, then Chinatown and Little India.. and they asked me whether it is far to walk from Chinatown to Little India, i told them it was managable..

but seriously, which Singaporean would wanna walk that distance? take NEL.. so much faster..

back to the main topic.. does Singapore really have a place to experience culture? i dont mean places like Fort Siloso or Chinatown, which are just more tourist attractions masked in cultural preservation.. seems to me like those existing cultures are no more than pseudo-cultures created to attract tourists..

12:16 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, December 02, 2006

One-Arm Warrior

almost finish the PG Gundam.. only left the left arm plus all the weapons except the Grand Slam..

1:26 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, December 01, 2006

Driving

cant remember when was the last time i was able to sit back and relax..

it is always nice, after a long day's work, to sit somewhere and drink coffee or a cocktail, and watch people passing by.. but since there werent any coffee or cocktail i'll make do with a coke and some french fries..

anyway after work i met K Luon and registered for my driving course.. the Basic Theory Test is extremely crappy.. i really dunno what to say.. should be easy to pass..

11:39 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Big Blackout

had lots of power trip at work today.. can safely said that no job was done today.. out of the 8 hours at work i only spend less than 1 working.. and i still get the 8 hours worth of pay.. lucky me..

went watch Casino Royale with Shawn Tracy and Simin.. quite an interesting show with one of the best James Bond plot.. sadly Q's dead so no gadgets (refer to history of James Bond)..

went Eskibar at Clark Quay next.. had dinner - Lamb Masala, and a Kamikaze drink.. the curry lamb taste reminds me of prata curry.. but the Kamikaze's good.. Shawn even had a Martell V.S.O.P.. should be very strong..

ok nuff said.. gotta work tmr.. *shudder* at the load in my IN tray..

11:55 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

First Day at Work

started my first day of office work today.. must say it was quite easy, except the part where my work cubicle is right in front of the General Manager's office.. consider it a huge improvement from when i was slogging in a bookshop and had to bear some idiotic co-workers' stupidity.. and i was earning $5 and hour then.. now $6..

extremely tired now.. dont feel like updating on my Gundam since i already faced the computer for 8 hours.. suffice to say that i half-completed the torso..

btw anyone interested to work as a data entry person for $6 an hour can let me know.. one vacancy after 15 Dec.. maybe more..

10:17 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Untitled

long day.. tiring day.. just endless chores and some Gundam modelling..

cooked dinner today.. if steaming the food my mom prepared in the morning is considered cooking.. not much, but at least something..

after much cutting, slicing, scraping and lining, i decided to go an extra mile and completed the hip together with the left leg.. the latter took me 5 hours again and the hip 2 hours..

compared with a MG leg.. i still marvel at the size..

the butt of the Gundam.. pointless shot but i took it anyway..

balancing on one leg.. not easy considering the metal parts inside the leg and the hip which made the whole structure quite heavy for its size.. the joints hold up very very well..

doing the pose on the cover.. half done and half more to go..

10:16 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, November 27, 2006

PG Strike

back from Malacca.. yesterday.. nothing much happened there.. mostly heritage trip plus a little shopping.. no chance to buy any souveniers.. so sorry..

finished my chore of washing the toilet today (finally!!!) and cleaning all the windows.. i must say i am very pleased with myself.. hadnt done that since Sec 3, when i had to wash the stupid 20th Singapore Artillery bunk toilet.. frankly, i think i did quite a good job..

at 1235 27-11-2006, i opened my first Perfect Grade kit.. the one bestowed to me on my birthday.. 1241 i cut the first part (L 19) out.. after 5 hours of intensive construction and lining i finally finished...

the right leg..

compared with a Master Grade leg.. the size is humongous..

what a MG can do, a PG can do better =)

compared with a full MG kit.. the bulkiest MG i have so far..

thanks everyone.. i really enjoyed building this..

ps: i sound as if i finished the kit

Random Picture

wondering why is CCHMS still using this picture.. 4 years old..

8:10 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, November 24, 2006

Washing Dishes

hmmm.. tried washing the dishes today.. tried.. washing a few bowls is ok, but for a family of 6 plus 2 grandparents.. big UH-OH..

aftermath report:

2 casualties: 1 glass soup bowl and 1 glass spoon

quite bad..

10:31 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, November 23, 2006

MG Strike IWSP

just finished my MG Strike IWSP.. kinda pleased with my work.. though sadly it is not my best so far (the best one i've made was MG Freedom)..

the shield+IWSP backpack combination is a little too heavy for the hip socket to hold.. has a tendency to slant to one side and backwards..

this is also my first model which i tried painting.. not easy.. not easy at all.. especially those large areas.. took me whole of the morning to paint 5 blades.. all which are from IWSP by the way..

Aile Strike and Strike IWSP..

doing a PG Box cover Pose..

of course the difference in the Grades means the posing quality will be different.. seeing that one costs $275 while the other costs $64..

oh and i dyed my hair two days ago.. no idea what color is it.. cant exactly describe.. but finally i look "Beng"..

10:52 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, November 20, 2006

MG Gouf

finished my first Master Grade of the holiday.. 2nd model completed after the A levels.. has a real cool gatling shield..

but as with typical gatling shield, it is too heavy for the shoulder joint to support.. so it mostly act as a large walking stick..

table-o-Gundams plus one out-of-place Kotobukyia Armored Core

the starting of the MG Strike IWSP.. stupid screw in the shoulder joint is difficult to screw in.. made me use so much force that now i have a few patches of red on my palm where the capillaries burst.. oh well i suppose its worth it..

and my 6 year old bicycle is finally back with me.. after 2 years of dust collecting up at my grandpa's house.. after a few tweaks and adjustments i was able to take it out for a spin without much problem.. going cycling tmr..

10:56 PM

`` stoningg

BBQ at Labrador

BBQ at Labrador Park.. stupid charcoal is so wet and shattered.. had a hard time starting up a fire.. with Jieyan doing most of the work and me helping once in a while, we managed to start the BBQ after 3 hours of struggling..

some weird things that happened there, and events leading to and after..

1. Cold Storage Harbourfront doesnt sell charcoals *Horrors!!!*
2. a small ember flew into my left eye (contacts on)
3. stupid blind idiotic insect flew INTO my left eye (contacts on).. poor left eye..
4. sprinted through the crowd in Vivo looking for more charcoal and some ice

the most important thing that happened was when Yiwen opened her presents.. kinda funny.. because she had to flash all her presents to everyone in the pavilion (it was raining.. *curses*).. literally flash because arent meant to be that public..

sadly the day didnt end that well.. we were kinda frustrated because of the charcoal and the rain, plus the sorting out of money (i must say i cant imagine what was happening in my birthday present's case.. the mayhem and chaos.. it must be horrible).. and we walked all the way out to the bus-stop only to find out that i dropped my wallet on the way out..

but some kind soul found my wallet when he saw his son kicking it.. and was driving on their way out they saw me running in.. so they stopped me and returned me my wallet.. extremely grateful that they found it.. especially to their son.. even offered me a drive out (friggin road was more than 1km..) thank you thank you thank you.. i even rmb their number plate.. but shouldnt put it here..

12:00 AM

`` stoningg

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Kotobukiya Armored Core

Kotobukiya's models are really difficult to build.. extremely.. though most parts are molded in the correct colors.. most.. but there are still some extremely small parts..

but after 6 intensive hours, plus ten extremely sore fingers and a tired brain from deciphering the multi-layered encrypted instruction manual, it was completed at 11.00pm.. and when put next to Gundams it really make Gundams look like toys.. but, i wouldnt buy another Kotobukiya kit until they improve their construction methods..

my workspace

compared with a MG Zaku.. the Zaku really look like a toy..

MG Zaku wielding Ichigo's Bankai Tensa Zangetsu

next in the construction line is the MG Gouf.. think i'll start tomorrow..

9:27 AM

`` stoningg

Friday, November 17, 2006

Its Over..

its over.. the Great Battle.. the Fearful A's has finally passed.. and most importantly.. I SURVIVED!!!!!!

but sadly, the 4 months moratorium from Gundam Modelling has killed my passion for it.. felt that it was torture building one today.. gave up halfway.. haix.. guess i'll just sell my unopened Gundams somehow..

nah.. just screwing with you guys.. me? selling Gundams? no chance.. at least not in the near future.. i finished the Armored Core Mirage C01-Gaea.. will post some pics of it tomorrow.. kinda tired now.. 6 hours of hard work.. whew..

11:13 PM

`` stoningg

Last Fight

final paper in 2 1/2 hours time.. last chance for Cambridge to screw me.. BRING IT ON!!!!!

11:39 AM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Physics Paper 3

not as disappointing as the other 2 physics papers.. at least i know how to do most of the questions, while the definitions are easily bluff-able..

heard the Economics paper didnt go too well.. only strengthened my conclusion that Cambridge is trying to screw us Dragon babies..

11:03 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Chemistry Paper 2

for once i can really conclude.. A levels is out to do us in..

this year they set all the funny papers.. if i am lucky the paper is weird.. if i am not so lucky the paper is totally alien.. seriously, i dont really know how am i gonna do for the papers at all..

though other people from other countries said that the A levels are different every year (which is true or else the monotony will kill everyone).. it should at least conform to something.. sadly, this year has a little too much out-of-place papers..

oh, and today's paper wasnt so bad.. though the shortening of the paper to 5 questions was shocking, but managable.. at least i am not the only one who finishes with much time to spare.. *whew*

5:42 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, November 13, 2006

Not only that...

worst part is, i got scolded by my parents for screwing my paper up..

thanks alot.. that was such great help..

9:56 PM

`` stoningg

Physics

dammit.. bloody physics paper screwed me.. WHY!!!!

i was confident that my physics wouldnt have much problem, but for some reason, my stupid head choose that moment to have mental block.. cant even prove the stupid frequency of oscillation.. WHY AM I SO SCREWED!!!!!!!

but in the end, all i can blame is only myself.. it IS my fault that my stupid brain chose that moment to shut off.. it IS my fault that i am over-confident regarding my physics.. it IS my fault that i lost my A.. i cant blame anyone, because the fault truely lies in me..

anyway, overslept in the bus and missed my stop on the way home.. ended up i took the long route and looped Suntec instead of alighting and crossing the road to take the bus in the opposite direction.. there's a certain joy in slowing down in the Rat Race and just enjoy as things flash past before me.. when life isnt pushing you so much so that you fail to appreciate the finer details of life..

9:14 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Gastric?

had a massive 'stomachache' last night.. think it is gastric..

interupted my sleep last night.. very bad.. hope it doesnt happen tonight..

9:55 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Maths Paper 2

the paper wasnt difficult, so i suppose i should be able to secure an A here..

2 weeks gone.. one more week to go..

nothing more to say..

9:55 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Chemistry Paper 3

frankly, i dont know what to say about the paper.. this is one of the paper which, according to me, is a considerably easy paper which i fear i would be pushed down by the Bell Curve..

yet, contrary to my perception, others feel that this paper is un-easy.. literally.. it links so many topic to the extent that even experienced Chemistry candidates feel uncertain about their answers..

plus, the 45 mins surplus i have for the paper is a sure sign that i am either so good and i dont know, or i am getting thrashed by the paper without knowing it.. the latter is preferentially chosen..

so now, in retrospect, is the confidence i feel in tomorrow's Maths Statistic true confidence, or complacency?

8:35 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Maths Paper 1

a little screwed up today.. some little careless mistakes here and there, but overall, the paper is still ok..

helplessness struck me again, to see friends suffering even as i start to complain about the minute problems about my life..

I walk a path of shadows,
I see everything, yet nothing,
I am light,
I am dark,
I must give my life to serve,
not even death can release me.

7:37 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, November 06, 2006

Private

sick and tired of people using some of my blog content to criticize me.. so, like what Shawn once did, i decided to privatize some of my entries by putting them in a seperate blog..

Down from the blind eternities,
Relishing the helplessness of life.
Yesterday's lies left their mark,
Xenophobia decends upon me.
How can i survive?
You strayed from my life,
Leaving me helpless and alone.

(in this case, the lower one is the correct one)

8:14 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, November 05, 2006

噩梦

守护之神，
束手无策，
梦境护败，
内心缭乱.

7:29 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Airplane Accident

apparently, something happened to the "lift" force of my airplane today.. while i was eating breakfast, the "lift" (hook on the wall) gave way and the airplane fell for about 2 metres and crashed on the ground.. dammit..

but, luckily there was something to balance the misfortune today.. the long awaited Strike Gundam + IWSP finally arrived.. long awaited literally.. ever since the design came out one two year ago i had waited for such Master Grade model to be released..

the trend of people falling sick is still continuing.. this is bad.. real bad..

10:20 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, November 03, 2006

Bout of Sickness

did not do that much studying today.. spent most of the day at the library reading the book on Tungaska incident.. interesting phenomenum that science is still unable to explain..

recent trend of increasing number of people falling sick is starting to get me worried.. first is me down with i-dunno-what (never went to the doctors).. then is peifen's stomach flu.. now connie is not feeling well, ming jue is quite sick, k luon is sick, jieyan is not feeling well, yiwen is down with stomach flu.. very bad trend.. it is happening just like the Principal say it would..

also, the review for today's paper is not good, and that may also be a understatement..

all i can say is,
(quote from 哆啦A梦)

人的眼睛为什么长在头的前面？为的就是要时时往前看.. 而不是为过去的事而烦恼..

8:39 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, November 02, 2006

GP gone

with the completion of GP today, i have officially completed roughly 10% of my A level (excluding SPA).. like they always say, the first step is always the hardest.. now that the first step is taken, a barrier which caused me to fear the A levels is now gone..

the essay question chosen was initially to my advantage, but after knowing the volume of candidates which chose that question, i realise that the advantage is actually minimal..

Compre was more or less easy, except for the summary which was a untangable mess of questions.. other than that the rest should be ok..

after the paper, we celebrated lil Wenzi's birthday in the canteen.. hahaa luckily we did not all gave her 18 slaps to signify her turning 18 (now legal age to buy alcohol n 4D, but still best bring IC just in case they wanna check).. the cake, shipped to school by yours truly, has a nice layer in the middle.. kinda like crystalized chocolate, which, though appeals to my sweet tooth, made the cake quite difficult to cut.. oh and we decided not to feed the cake to the birthday girl cos she is going for family lunch right after..

had a long chat with an old friend on MSN today.. all the way from the afternoon to at night.. apparently she knew my karate friend, who just ended a messy relationship.. as to that guy's rationale of two-timing, i find it ridiculous.. to me, the reason why people does that is still elusive.. all i can say is, screw that jackass and forget about him..

〈胡思乱想〉

要学会放得下，首先必须懂得成全

7:56 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Rat Race

so the true rat race begins tomorrow..

extremely mixed feelings about it.. on one hand it signifies the end of all those stressful, hair-pulling exams which terrorizes all students.. on the other hand it signifies the end of the simple life of one-minded mugging for the exams and the transition to the cruel, torturous working society, of which friendship forged would most probably be superficial and fake..

i forsee that a sociable loner (term coined by me) like me, troubled by the underlying layer of speech and dialogue, would be overwhelmed by the influx of backstabbing and plotting..

so for now, i'll just enjoy whatever bliss i have from the mugging-during-exam period before everything vanishes from right in front of me..

on a happier note, early Happy Birthday Wenzi!! though u always bully me, but 大人不记小人过.. plus you have been a good AVA Laoda n a very good friend.. so i promise i'll let u bully for one day on your birthday.. after that.. Muahahahahaaa!! YOUR TURN!!!!

8:41 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

An Inconvenient Truth

went to watch An Inconvenient Truth.. was kinda frustrated after the show because of the fact that Al Gore was using the show as a political tool to help push for his own acceptance as a person capable of bring change to the world..

the irrelevancy of some parts of the show further strengthened my belief.. for example, he suddenly stated the car accident his son was in, to show his turning point in life when he realise things are worth protecting.. which i thought was actually a cry for sympathy..

ultimately, i feel that the show is actually an hour and a half of publicity for Al Gore.. i suppose he would be running for American Presidency in a few years..

in conclusion, i've Learnt Nothing, Gained Something.. those that are said, i knew.. those left unsaid, i try to decipher..

2 more days.. all the best everyone..

10:49 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Never Judge a Book by its Cover

socialising is an art itself.. to the extent that it can be considered a science.. ironic?

记得当年，小学时，我绞尽脑汁，为了就是能得到一群朋友的肯定.. 六年后的我，回想当初的行为，觉得自己和一只跟屁虫没两样..

现在，看见旁人迁入同样的陷阱，我认为自己有必要去帮助他.. 去试让周围的人了解他的处境.. 但，和往常一样，我还是力不从心.. 因给人的第一个影像不好，而且处人方式有稍微不妥，并会引起别人的歧视..

社会残酷的事实.. 无论一个人有多好，他在人群中的地位，大半是由给人的第一影像而被定了下来..

never judge a book by its cover.. 看来我们还是无法做没偏见的决定.. 应为人是无法达到无私的境界..

9:13 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, October 27, 2006

Impluse, the Inner Demon

heard something today which gave me a big fright.. it made me realise how long it had been since my mind met my heart, to the extent that logical thinking is almost all that i have left.. and when impulse surfaced, i am so ignorant to it that it is able to wreck havoc in my life..

it is only when triggered by those words was i shocked by my reaction.. the way my hands went numb.. which spread through my body within a heart beat.. the sudden urge to scold myself for being so helpless, so useless, in times of need.. and at the same time an impluse to do something irrational which is not worth mentioning..

had i not been 'trapped' by the surroundings and that what's left of my conscious mind stopped me, i would have done something which i would surely regret.. this strengthens my resolve to forget, yet the harder i try the harder it seems.. 明知毒针需要拔，但却又怕拔针之痛..

how many times since the past had my impulsive actions cause harm or suffering to others, when anger or bliss blinds the conscious mind to allow the subconscious free reign cause trouble..

11:12 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Collision of Worlds

when worlds collide, stress is exerted on the World between Worlds.. for good or for bad, one can hardly tell.. to predict when it happens, one rarely have control over such events (that's what Destiny is)..

so 3 circumstances may result..

1. the Worlds merge into one

2. the Worlds pass through each other and do not interact

3. (worst case senario) the Worlds intefere and the balance of the world between worlds is challenged.. in rare times, the World between Worlds could get annihilated..

everyone, being the protector of their own World between Worlds, always fear the 3rd senario..

what should be said, cannot be said.. what i want to say, should not be said.. to say what i should not say, i am doing what i cannot.. yet to not say what i cannot say, i am not saying what i should.. therefore,

to say or not to say?

8:40 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Implications

'the implications of the actions involved, and the meaning of the said and the unsaid'.. this is a state of thinking which i never like to venture into.. but sometimes i am forced to do so, and it always ends up very bad..

since i can remember, hearing and sensing underlying meaing of speeches and actions is something i had blocked out because i assume friends will be direct with me..

yet human nature is ever so unpredictable.. once again i am pressured to decend to that state of mind, and i dont like the relevations i am seeing..

Random Thoughts..

long ago someone told me, "Friends are for backstabbing, because if they are not friends, then it is not called backstabbing.".. does this statement really hold true?

5:29 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Sick..

this is so bad.. i am so totally down and out.. 11 days away from A lvls (and Yiwen's birthday, which i accidentally forgot) and i am down with who-knows-what illness..

running nose, dry throat, phlegmy cough, aching neck n back (that is due to having to sleep in a sitting position so i wont gag on the mucus.. yuck!!)

just hope i didnt pass the virus to anyone yesterday.. else it would be very bad..

digressing.. Death Note is a very nice movie.. battle of two intellectual individuals.. suitable for all ages except for the subtitles in the 1st scene..

12:00 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Strike Gundam IWSP

absolutely drool-able.. totally magnificent.. so lucky i pre-ordered it.. cos i think it will be sold out within a month.. which unfortunately is my A lvl month and hence i cant actually go shopping to search for it..

Strike Gundam IWSP (Integrated Weapons Striker Pack)

so with the pre-order made, i can at least study in peace.. i can almost forgive the jerk who called security this morning to help him clear those people's bags which is used to book places in the study lounge.. i can almost forgive him for being such an idiot in thinking that the study lounge should be absolutely silent and that sleeping in his seat is not selfishly taking up space which may be better utilized by others..

job well done Connie in telling it in his face that he is louder than all of us combined.. Bravo!!

8:27 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Random Thoughts

the dreadful end of the A levels are coming.. the end of all that is familiar and to be rudely shoved into a new world of which we have no true knowledge of..

i dont like this.. dont like this at all..

random thoughts

why do i always contradict myself?

9:55 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, October 13, 2006

毕业

so here i am.. graduated from NYJC.. graduated from official Singapore Education (think Uni is independent organisation).. not sure whether i should be happy or sad..

今天，我是靠着“天下无不散之宴席”来安慰我自己.. 我这僵硬的心，是不能再溶软下来，否则将来一定无法生存..

读书时期这充满压力但简单的生活，已被我超越了.. 不过一会儿，世界便会变得很复杂，很残忍..

我所熟悉的世界，一霎那间从我手中被夺，使我感到无比地无助，无奈.. 未来如此神秘，过去已成回忆.. 捆在这两界之间，我感到了路途的分裂，心里期待却又害怕.. 我人格就是这样.. 虽然知道坚持不让过去成为记忆的挣扎是没用的，但却不知如何放下.. 心总是和脑唱反调，我也无可奈何..

是否选择路途，或顺河漂流呢？

11:15 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

缘

年份快尽，缘分快了.. 我知这大半辈子所拥有的缘分，在下来的一段日子总得还清.. 世上无免费之物.. 我多年来这么幸运，已满足了..

9:50 PM

`` stoningg

被骂

刚被射了一箭.. 而且是刺穿心的一箭.. 不算是骂，但肯定是被讲了一吨..

嗨，但是不能不承认她说得对.. 我最近确实是太疯钢单了一点儿.. 从未想要一次过买这么多家钢单..

好吧.. 看来我得好自为之了.. 赚来的钱不一定要花掉.. 可惜这个道理我还未刻在心上..

8:03 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

放松

心魔作怪，措手不及.. 明知会考多么重要，但却丝毫感觉不出任何压力.. 虽然想到今后在社会即将面对的竞争会有点儿担心，但对考试这方面内心风平浪静..

再加上我内心的战争，最近我的脑袋实在是无法清醒起来..

因此，我每当读完书时，便会陶醉在Gundam之中..

看上了四架Master Grade.. 又是$$..

MG Kampfer = $64 (direct conversion from Yen)

MG God Gundam = $40

MG Acguy = $64

MG Griffon Flight Type (non-Gundam) = $60.80

total cost = $228.80

8:40 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, October 09, 2006

Random Thoughts

i am already feeling tired of the A lvls.. sort of anticipating something so much for so long that i started to feeling fatigue.. i'm sure this is not uniquely me..

around me i withnessed people crumbling and giving in to stress.. and as before i cannot offer any form of aid to help ease their sufferings.. because as history have proven time and time again that i fail horribly at inter-personal relationships.. all i can do is hope to stay out their way as they trudge through this trying period..

conflicting personalities.. better word would be 力不从心..

plus, my self-imposed restrain is wearing me down.. feeling mentally exhausted.. fortunately music help suppress my emotions, but i can still feel the pressure building up..

met this lousy counter personal at Bugis BK while eating lunch.. Justin n me bought a meal using those coupons, and the person serving us just keyed in everything and walked away without saying anything..

me : 可以upsize吗？

Justin : 不懂哦.. (turn to counter personal) sorry, can we upsize?

Counter Person : 不早说! 我已经key in了.. （look for manager) etc....

just like Justin said.. 为什么她不早问？ isnt it proper service attitude to ask whether the customers want anything else? no wonder tourist keep complaining about Singapore's service industry..

8:55 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, October 08, 2006

四翅天使

玻璃墙后，

与世隔离，

四翅天使，

守护之神。

守护之神，

只守不除，

邪恶在外，

逍遥自在。

心不在焉，

力不从心，

小人捣蛋，

袖手旁观。

护物被欺，

全力防敌，

护物被取，

心中解脱。

听取私心，

独自拥有，

放弃她人，

幸福快乐。

10:39 PM

`` stoningg

Aimless = Good？

spent half of the afternoon talking to two of my cousins who are also taking the A lvls.. seesms like i am the only one who is sure what i want to work as.. yet, i am the slackest of us three..

maybe it has something to do with not being to see your goal.. such that you will not be able to see where you need to end and it creates a sort of hope that allows people to work harder? they seem to have much much more stamina when it comes to striving for something they dont even know..

random picture: 受损的四翅天使

心不在焉，
力不从心，
小人捣蛋，
袖手旁观。

12:12 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, October 07, 2006

DSTA/DSO Scholarship

went for the DSTA/DSO Scholarship "Fair" today.. sort of showed the jobs available at these 2 big Defence Companies and encouraged people to take up scholarship to pursue subjects related to these fields of research.. also opened me up to other options related to those i have a passion for.. like Electronical Warfare (EW).. i am especially interested in the upgrading of existing technologies to make the product unique to Singapore..

met some primary school friends there.. caught up a little as to how one another is doing, and realised everyone hasnt been doing that well at all.. still, that's no reason to slack, nor an excuse to justify my slacking performance the past 2 days..

shallnt comment about the haze.. those farmers in Indonesia 也有苦衷..

守护之神，
只守不除，
邪恶在外，
逍遥自在。

10:53 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Untitled

got my modified XBOX（$60) back.. now i can play any game i want.. HAHAAA!!!!

plus, after comparing the Creative MP3 charger that Yiwen helped me buy ($69）, i realised that my previous handphone's USB charger is compatible.. two of my sister's handphone also using the same type of charger with the same power output.. meaning i got 4 charger that can be used for my MP3.. -_-'"

一定是前世造的孽.. 不知何故，竟然被一只小蚊子给说服.. 本想搭巴士回家，反而变成搭德士.. 全因为蚊子赶着回家看电视!!!

玻璃墙后，
与世隔离，
四翅天使，
守护之神。

7:46 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

内疚

something happened at home, which i contributed to it partially.. and resulted in my youngest sister being caned (finally she is being punished, but i had not wanted it to be in this situation).. ironically, i was speaking to Shawn about how my little sister is getting naughtier by the day right before i got home..

me: 妈咪，我今天早上在check我account时，realise got $120 not accounted for. 我double-check了，confirm我没花那些钱.

mom(angry): sure or not? 都叫你不要把钱乱放了...

unknown to me, something already happened before i got home.. apparently, my mom's phone charger went missing, and she was frustrated at the time i was speaking to her (don't know why i didn't sensed that)..

only when my other sisters told me the background did we suspect the youngest sister.. so we questioned her nicely, and i even said the most my mother would do is just scold her.. finally, she confessed, but my mother was so angry she caned her (should not have told her about my money missing first)..

感觉好像是欺骗了妹妹, 心里十分内疚..

really is wrong place wrong time..

10:02 PM

`` stoningg

Money Missing

something's wrong with my accounts.. for the past few days some of my money had gone missing..

i spent the morning going through my latest expenditure, and realised that about $120 spent is not accounted for.. i dont even remember spending that money in the past 4 days.. dammit.. something's wrong somewhere..

9:44 AM

`` stoningg

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Wierd Day..

hmmm.. wierd day..

firstly, i spend the whole morning pouring over notes and instructions, and finally came to a conclusion on the subject...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

PG Wing Zero is more difficult to build than PG Strike Gundam..

next i dieded in Chemistry Thermodynamics.. some wierd working and things, but i managed to finish a few of them before i was KIA-ed..

went Parkway for dinner.. was totally shocked when dad asked me to help him buy TOTO.. 3 system 7 and 6 quick pick.. very very wierd..

oh and i bought a Tamiya Cutter for $16 after 20% discount at Isetan.. not sure is it the same one that the shop owner at Shaw Tower, because he said that one would cost $40 but still can last 10 years.. i just tested it and it cuts quite well..

better start planning my money for after A lvls..

owe mother - $413
owe father - $354
MG Gouf - about $53
MG Strike IWSP - about $67
MG Gundam RX-78 - $60+
Airbrush - $300+
Armor Core - $60
Gundam Paint - below $40
Gundam Liner - $35

total - about $1400

man this is going to be one expensive holiday.. at least i am working.. i am going to send my remodelled Gundam for competition and hope to win more Gundam Hampers.. Muahahahaaaa!!!!

9:26 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, September 30, 2006

雷雨

a very nice play.. good yet understandable plot (some others was so confusing it was easier understanding exam papers)..

but one phrase that left a very deep impression on me is one spoken by the younger brother..

"其实我是不喜欢她的，只不过是一时强烈的暗恋罢了.... 哥，你要好好地照顾她..."

其他的不说，和哥哥同时喜欢同样的丫头.. 但明明知道是不可能的，却毫无顾忌地对她好.. 可悲呀可悲..

9:40 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

A Very Big Thanks to those who chipped in for my present.. it must have been hard on you guys.. thanks alot.. i love it very much..

to list those who made my dreams of owning

come true, (i list it in the way the names are given to me..)

(05S6E)
1. Yi Yuan
2. Yu Zhu
3. Chew Hwee
4. Tiong Li
5. Merrick
6. Darren
7. Bin Hua
8. Priscilla

(CCHMS)
9. Chun Kiat
10. Yihua
11. Han Bing
12. Ricky
13. Gwendolyn

(Bendemeer Primary)
14. Yong Ting
15. Wei Yann (表姐也给叫来了.. 佩服佩服..)
16. K Luon

(BYG)
17. Tian Tian
18. Jie Yan
19. Justin
20. Meng Jiat
21. Connie
22. Xinyu
23. Peifen

(AVA)
24. Yiwen
25. Remus
26. Vincent
27. Yong Sheng
28. Frank

(Others)
29. Min Sheng
30. Shawn
31. Janet
32. Tracy
33. Jeslin
34. Simin

long long list.. wow!! i am really very impressed by the effort they put in.. thanks alot everyone..

and my supposed other birthday present is a Motorola V3X handphone..

but since i going NS soon, and my sis wanted that phone very badly, so i gave it to her.. i'm sticking with my old phone..

10:01 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Chemistry Kills

dieded for Chemistry Prelims..

Paper 1 - 23/40
Paper 2 - 27/60
Paper 3 - 35/100

Total - 85/200 = 42.5%

Final Score : AO

very bad.. at least i am more or less sure that i will not fail the other 2 subjects..

found this while surfing the net..

The size ratings go-

1/144 - smallest and crappest, like the one that came with the SEED boxset.
1/144 High Grade/High Grade Universal Century (HG or HGUC) - much better quality, still small though.
1/100 - *about* the same quality as the HGs, but bigger (about 1.4x bigger).
1/100 Master Grade (MG) - Expensive, but much better quality. Best to leave until you've made some regular models.
1/60 - Super duper big, about HG quality.
1/60 Perfect Grade (PG) - You can't afford these. No, seriously.

lol..

明天即将"招"天遣..

但看在过后的解脱，被雷劈几次也是值得的..

<胡思乱想>

人生就是一场恶梦.. 希望我能找点儿醒来..

4:11 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Pets

found a picture of Reversi's twin brother, Squeaky.. he has another patch of black on his left eye and a brown coat on his lower half body.. other than that his fur is the same as Reversi's..

called him Squeaky because he squeaks very loudly when hungry.. Very Loudly.. kinda forgotten where he went.. noisy little guy..

played with Toffy almost the whole day today.. very nice little fellow.. at least he doesn't bite me like Mr Tong's hamster (i am going to bite it back one day) or go berserk after playing too much like Stretchy, my friend Cheryl's dog..

i had always wanted a dog, but due to the fact that i have a canine-phobic mother, my sis's and i was outvoted in the democratic family.. democracy meaning children one vote each and parents ten votes each..

so i'll just have to wait till i am older to be able to get one.. but on second thought perhaps i would rather spend the money on more Gundams?

11:33 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, September 22, 2006

想太多了..

whole day slacking at home is not good for me..

due to my short nap last night which caused me to wake up super-disorientated, my hyped up mind went overdrive.. causing me to 想太多..

not good.. not good at all..

luckily my mom forced me out of the house to go collect my free mp4 player.. if not i am sure i would have went crazy..

8:46 PM

`` stoningg

Story of Reversi (end)

direct from my old blog 2 years ago..

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

when i say so much happened 4 e past 2 wks...it is an understatement...so much...prelims...dengue...guinea pigs giv birth....den 1 of the babies is sort of deformed or handicapped...e mother rejects it...so hve 2 try 2 hand raise...his...i tink is a he...hind 2 legs cant move much...den is also very small...2day 2nd day liao...quite lucky 2 live so long...i tink...but dis morn he started shaking...dunno y...feel quite helpless as he juz keep shaking...tink he is in pain or wad...haix...ke lian leh...

really is a damn understatement...haix...ke lian de baby...i juz went over 2 check on him...he's stiff all over...not breathing...dis time i really feel so hopeless...so helpless...to see a living creature suffer n yet cant do anything 2 help...i really feel so hopeless...maybe it was meant to be...maybe he wasnt meant to live at all...4 someone who has only days to live...it is easier to giv up their lives than people who has lived for decades...may you rest in peace...

In dedication to one of my most memorable friend,Reversi the black white guinea pig (20/09/2004 - 22/09/2004)

1:38 PM

crippled, abandoned by parents, ostracize by his siblings, shunned by his species, with no one for company but strangers.. he suffered much more than i ever did in his short life.. rest in peace old friend..

1:36 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Story of Reversi (cont.)

continued..

After school, I regularly checked on the small guy, making sure he's not uncomfortable or anything. I even helped him exercised his hind legs, hoping that his legs will grow stronger. He's putting in effort, considering how hard he tried to move and kick those malformed legs.

I also tried to see if Binnie would accept him, but she still treat him as though he was invisible.

By the end of the day, he was able to crawl about in his make-shift cage made by yours truly. He was unable to stay in the original cage for fear of being crushed by the parents who don't give a damn about his existence.

A glimmer of hope for him, or so we thought..

to be continued..

9:03 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Story of Reversi

In dedication to one of my most memorable friend,
the black and white guinea pig, Reversi (20/9/2004 - 22/9/2004)

two years ago,

I was in school when i recieved a sms, "hey bro,binnie juz gif birth 2 baby, but she rejecting one of them".

When I got home, I was shocked to see that one of the baby guinea pig had a deformed lower body. His lower back and lower legs are smaller than it should be, an he was struggling just to crawl about, dragging itself with its two front legs.

Binnie, the mother, just treated him like he was trash. I don't blame her, because this is the way nature works.

But still, I couldn't just watch him die of starvation, so my sisters and I decided to care for him ourselves. We fed it rice water through a syringe, and tried to care of him a way a mother would care for a child.

He was all white, with a black patch on his forehead. We wanted to bring him to a vet, but by the time our parents came home, it was very late, and my mother said to wait for awhile to see if his back legs would grow stronger.

So we waited...

to be continued..

left to right: Binnie, Archie

10:12 AM

`` stoningg

Happy Birthday

好朋友.. 生日快乐 =）

看来只有我会对你说这句话，因为我想没人记得你的存在，他们怎么会记得你哪年哪日生的呢？你真可怜，但不用担心.. 至少我记得..

12:01 AM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Prelims Over..

Physics paper 2 is a killer.. nuff said..

as for those whom the sadistic school still wanted to torture for a few days more, all the best..

went 'window shopping' at Suntec-Marina Square area as Jieyan n Justin would call it.. but most of the time i am just stoning as looking at clothes is just not my cup of tea.. at least we found what we was looking for, and Jieyan bought another Gundam, and i got disappointed again as a $225.90 Perfect Grade Strike Gundam is still out of stock until further notice.. ARRGGGHHHHH!!! now all the PG Strike left are those selling at $289.90 at stores such as Seiyu and Metro.. oh well..

任命了.. 无能为力停止时间步行的我，看来只能眼睁睁的看着周围的一切变成回忆.. JC-life 只不过省三个月.. 能把多少记忆塞进脑里，就尽量塞吧..

好朋友，不过多久就是你的生日了.. 兴奋吗? 一年一度，算是蛮偶然的吧.. 不用担心，我一定会陪你庆祝的.. 怎么说，对你来说这么重要的一天，我这么会错过呢？

T minus 3h 39mins 21s

8:21 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, September 18, 2006

Untitled

finished maths paper 2.. can say i got K.O.ed by pure maths portion and CRV.. but overall the statistics part should help me pass.. heard Hu Nan did section C aka Mechanics.. 真是佩服他的勇气..

anyway, don't feel like studying for physics test tomorrow.. i had already anticipated this, so i revised physics during the weekend.. hope it will be enough..

already in a little holiday mood.. but not so into it as usual the irony of life is still plauges me.. i don't want the simplicity of mugging life to end, but ending it means enjoyment.. conflicting desires.. which should i want?

好朋友.. 好久不见了，多两天就能‘相遇’，你还好吗？你的痛苦，我一辈子也不会真正的理解.. 你的解脱，虽然我们俩儿因这样而感到痛苦，但我百分之百赞成你的决定..

T minus 2 days..

9:25 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Right or Wrong?

我这么做是对的吗? 虽然能让朋友开心，但始终知道开心时又可能是害到朋友.. 该不该？

这几天一直不停地mug，但当中却找回了当初的自己.. 回到了简单的生活，精神都集中在一个目标上，给了我一个肯定的人生方向.. 就像是在AVA或是在建Gundam时，生命就仿佛变得很简单.. 外界所抛向我的压力，都丝毫不重要.. 虽然像是逃避现实，但是也算是一种痛苦的解脱..

这种简单生活多么美好.. 可惜过几年，要找到这种生活可难了..

dreaming of the same friend these few days.. kinda expecting it since it always happens around this time.. its been 2 years since i last saw him.. since i will ever see him again..

T minus 3 days..

9:31 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Wear and Tear

not doing so well these few days.. i feel as though i am dying a little everyday, which technically is correct..

with each passing day, i grow more tired of the things i should do, must do, yet i see no gain.. i am happy, but not for myself..

then, as i thought, after A lvls everyone will go their separate ways.. suddenly, i don't want everything to end.. i don't want time to go on.. post-college syndrome, i guess..

anyway, just like the prelim results, if i dont have the ability, why do i yearn for it? no point catching a beautiful butterfly, only to have it die in a glass jar..

utterly pointless..

长久生活在痛楚之中，我感觉特别的累.. 作为听者，我是不应该插手的.. 醋吃多了，对它的味道已经麻痹的，再也尝不到那种味道了.. 生在这种环境当中，我的心不得不僵硬.. "It is suffering, to have so big and soft a heart in a world full of blades.."

guess i'll just carry on dying.. its the way of life..

9:33 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, September 08, 2006

Untitled

what should be, has in fact became what had not be.. the brutal irony of life..

which goes to show, fate is a lousy player at the game of Life.. "boy knocked down by car two months after winning battle against cancer"..

WTH!!! someone who desperately wants to live, has the will and the determination to live, is taken while those idiots who have a death wish by taking drugs are happily enjoying their lives..

nothing is fair.. i agree to this partially only.. the world must be balanced, two sided, not like a Moebius Strip..

without positive, negative would have no definition.. but the irony of Life itself is that it is way too imbalanced..

maybe one day i may do a Tousen (from Bleach anime) and say that,

"Since there is no Justice, the path I walk WILL be Justice."

11:10 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Zen V Plus

bought this at COMEX n Friday.. the 4 GB version.. not a bad mp3 player..

dad bought a new laptop.. Compaq something.. forgot.. but looks ok..

the brutal irony of life.. i was saving up some money, hoping to buy a 1GB SD card at COMEX to allow my phone to be a full fledged mp3 player.. and, i lost it the day before i go COMEX..

8:35 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, September 01, 2006

Untitled

not a good week actually..

school's quite empty because everyone was ponning lessons.. even the great Zhiliang ponned lectures.. and speaking of ponning.. i didnt know my sis was so 'smart' that she called her teacher to tell the teacher she was ponning her CCA..

in squash..

tried to win this..

from him..

but the sad truth is, a Planeswalker will never win in saber duelling as compared to a Jedi.. it just doesnt suit me when i am unable to use my magic.. and there werent enough time for me to start casting at the beginning anyway.. but still, out of the dunno-how-many matches we played, think there's only one 9-0 score.. big improvement..

so i'll just have to save up some a month and i think i can get it by the end of the year..

come to think of it.. it was raining the whole day yesterday.. maybe the sky's crying because i lost my handphone? well.. one can wonder..

9:49 AM

`` stoningg

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Phone Gone....

phone stolen 'cos of my unprecedented stupidity.. well there's a first for everything, so i assume it is in part a lesson to help me learn not to leave my phone lying around, especially when there's a group of 'Ah Bengs' sitting right behind you (suspect it is them)..

at least now i got my number and a phone..

GP yesterday's over.. no point going over how horrible i died..

11:24 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Prelims

so the Prelims starts tomorrow.. hell am i gonna be so dead, but yet i feel ... nothing..

very big UH-OH..

nuff said..

10:39 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Untitled

something's not right somewhere.. i am not the student i am suppose to be.. i do not feel any stress about the coming exam (except when i see the seconds ticking away on the NYJC homepage), hence the lack of urgency to study..

yet, regardless of the time spent stoning and doing nothing, i feel time is slowing down.. maybe it is my desire to stop time as it is, not to transcend to the post 'A' level life.. for i know it will not be as colourful as it is now.. maybe...

my mind is so cramped for the moment, not with studies but.. other things..

ps: sorry i didnt do the random music thing.. dont feel like doing anything for the whole weekend..

8:44 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

醋

醋好喝/吃吗？据说有个老人，靠着天天一小杯的醋，活到百多岁..

但在现实生活中，醋真的能保生健体吗？

没人会自愿吃醋..

拿得起，要懂得放得下.. 我也是这样，只是时辰未到 （我也需要学）.. 为了要得到别人的主意，别人的肯定，而加入 NASA (Negative Attention Seeking Association) 是件很愚蠢的行为..

但事实就是如此的残酷，每个人起初都会用这种方法来引人注目，直到学会了这种行为无效后，激怒了人家才恍然大悟.. 可悲可悲...

.........

changing topic, i got thrashed by Shawn in Squash today.. 9-0 9-1 9-0 9-0 9-2 9-3 blah blah(cant rmb all) 9-6 9-0 9-0 9-0.. i only remember we played about 12 sets..then go gym i train a little bit..

now at home leg got 4 blister (right one burst so i cut the skin away, leaking pus).. plus the usual corn (not sure spelling correct) mom put some medicine on it.. say it is highly concentrated acid of some sort.. turned the corn white in a few seconds without pain (it corroded the dead skin away and is still burning right into the corn).. interesting..

9:40 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, August 19, 2006

PG Wing Zero Custom

forget the Perfect Grade Strike Gundam (for the moment).. now that i have...
.
.
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.
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the Perfect Grade Wing Zero Custom.. MUAHAHAHAAAHAHAA

the wing is so BIG!!! but i am a little disappointed with the 'feathers' because they have holes poked into them at intervals.. no idea why..

this is the box where all the metal screws, springs, wires, LED, feathers, battery connection and metal endoskeleton parts are kept..

had a wierd day.. firstly on a crowded 133 to GP tuition, i got stepped on by a high heel, shoved and elbowed till i almost stepped onto a small boy a little taller than my waist, and got stared by a old lady who thought i was about to snatch the seat she was eyeing..

at GP tuition, i was whacked by Zhiliang (as usual), got mental fatigue from writing compo introduction and got confused by the printing of GP notes..

wanted to go Bugis buy water bottle for my sis, but after 15+ minutes of searching i decided to consult the directory, only to find that Sports Connection Bugis that i am looking for does not exist..

while shifting my sis's new double deck bed, my left hand got smashed by the pillar and the bedframe (green circle shows the bruise mark that's still on my arm..don't look much but it still hurts)..

but at the end of the day, i still GOT A LOAN FROM MY DAD TO BUY MY GUNDAM!!! (not sure why he so charitable today.. must be because his birthday is 4 days away?)

my parents suddenly called me at around 8pm (19/8 8.00 PM - 1988? coincidence?) and gave me the permission to go buy the Gundam at Compasspoint Metro (20% discount which brought the price from $329.95 to $263.96.. saved $65.99 which is roughly equivalent to a Master Grade Gundam).. if only time would stopped now i could die a happy person.. MUAHAHAHAAAHAHA

10:08 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, August 18, 2006

What of Pride?

while watching Smallville today, the truth suddenly came crashing into me.. someone actually lied to me not too long ago, deny saying those things that shouldn't be said and shrug responsibility of the happenings following the incident..

it disturbed me so much that i totally shut off from reality, to the extent that my notion of time is stretched (time warp theory), causing time to slow to a crawl..

yet in retrospect, that lie covering the original lie may actually be forgivable.. everyone has pride, regardless they are daredevils or nerdy bookworms.. when faced with a situation that may seriously endanger one's ego, most people will do anything just to save themselves from the shame.. furthermore, this is a case of protecting one's Pride..

throughout history, worse had been done just so to preserve one's pride.. so i assume that this case it is justifiable for that person to lie again to cover up for himself..

after further consideration, lying is part of human nature.. as Master DreamSeifer said, '人是自私的'.. white lies aside, almost all other lies are just for personal gain.. regardless of one's 'level of altruism', deep down inside there's always some part that will try to protect oneself from harm.. so, pulley operators, as stated in one NYJC library book, will have to put down someone in order to rise higher in other people's point of view..

after an hour plus of careful consideration and the loss of a good chance to enjoy Smallville, i came to a conclusion that it is ok for people to lie, and that what's already pass is past.. no point brooding over it cos it only waste away the present..

Random Picture:

i am starting to fall in love with this Perfect Grade Strike Gundam.. i WILL get it before the end of the year, even if i have to rob a bank.. MUAHAHAHAHAAA

9:38 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Destiny..Choosing or Chosen?

someone told me this today : " 你们是不是要我和他有关系？"

and i was thinking.. is there such thing as a BGR formed by peer pressure? 一厢情愿已经是很痛苦，但如果感情是被逼的，那双方不就会更苦吗?

yet thinking back, in history there are many cases of matchmaking.. these marriages always work out and they rarely separate, compared to the divorce cases which are so common that the lawyers are becoming filthy rich.. Obligation vs Responsibility.. when people marry because of love, they feel responsible to make the other person happy, but they are not obliged to do so.. but through matchmaking, they are obliged to take care of each other, as they are in a way accountable to each other's parents, as their parents are accountable to each other regarding their child's well-being in the marriage..

coincidentally, Mr Yee gave us an article to read.. something on Destiny, and it had a statistical study showing that marriage because of love lasts much shorter than marriage from matchmaking.. sadly, it sort of supported my point above..

Random Picture:

Abarai Renji.. one who could only watch as the person he like is snatched away from him due to the caste system.. decades years on he is still unable to do anything when the person he like is facing death penalty..

i am lucky to have parents who considered well before deciding to marry.. they met while they are studying in Poly and JC.. dated for 8 years and became engaged for 1 year before marrying.. they only married when they are sure they can survive on their own.. my cousin, whose married within half a year from knowing the guy, did so because of some reasons (they married in February and gave birth to a daughter in August).. now they are a little stretched from work and raising a family..

digressing, my cousin studying in Chung Cheng High School (Main) gave us a shock of our lives when she suddenly changed from normal looking to a walking stick, and from a noisy, i-am-right-and-you-are-wrong person to one that never speaks.. we all thought she having Anorexia or something, but it is only today that i knew the story.. apparently, she met i something while waiting for her parents to fetch her at the main gate one night.. think she was so scared that she became a changed person..

9:12 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, August 11, 2006

Random Thoughts

i tried all i could, but when it comes to consoling people, i am so bad i'll smash a crater at the rock bottom.. all i can do is to keep quiet and not say anything to worsen the situation, but as usual such feat would only cause me to have much pent up frustration to be so helpless..

still, what i sensed is still there, though a little stronger now.. i am not sure whether i approve of it, but if that's the way it will be i'll not do anything to stop it.. even if something happened after it happens i cant do much about it.. it is ingrained in my image in others' that i am not one who can help out in anything, though i am always standing by to help with meager things.. well, at least it is something..

anyway, the whole day's frustration only got augmented when my parents decided not to go for the Fireworks Festival after i got home.. instead, they want to go Clark Quay to get the feel of the place, which generally consist of only lounges and bars... getting very freaking fed-up, i stubbornly refuse to leave home and ended up watching the fireworks through the window half blocked.. 忍忍忍!!!

无奈一点儿也不好受，但当你知道自己是无法帮助解决问题时，无奈就是唯一路可走.. 没人会对我诉说他们的烦恼，因为我本人就没有给人家能聆听别人问题的映像.. 再说，我也可能没有好的解决方法，或是些安慰的话.. 因此，我只能默默地坐在一旁，希望能替人家承担一部分的忧愁.. 同时也不要信口开河，把事情弄得更糟.. 这就是我唯一能做的.. 对不起

9:28 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Short Entry

do a super short entry for now.. dun feel like writing so many things

1. celebrated Justin's birthday

2. drink alcohool

3. drink alcohol

4. went movies with Loner Society (Shawn n Tracy)

5. felt patriotic, so drank Singapore Sling (more alcohol)

6. Bought Ghost Squad Card (now broke..)

7. AVA t-shirt got burnt by a iron..HOLY CRAP!!!!

8. sick now

nuff said for the moment..

10:05 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Weird Day

had a weird morning at Bugis Junction before GP tuition, to the extent that Zhi Liang almost believed that i was seeing ghosts..

1. there's this 'fashion show' at the fountain, where people were suppose to walk on the T-shaped catwalk. 4 children were dancing professionally at the horizontal part of the T-shape when a guy wearing red jacket broke their line formation behind the children prematurely and barrelled into one of the dancers, almost knocking her off the stage.

2. at the not-ready-for-business Astro Boy shop in Bugis, for the duration it took me to stroll pass (i had lots of time) the shop, i saw one lady worker inside hugging the 1 metre tall Astro Boy figure and not moving at all, just hugging.

3. i saw a man with white 'mushroom'-styled hair sticking out his tongue and holding it as he walked.

4. i saw a man raking tall grass (notice i didnt use bush, cos they werent) beside the traffic light, as if combing someone's hair.

5. a leaf bigger than my palm blew into my face. when i brushed it off it stuck to my arm. when i brushed it again it stuck to my leg. must be the wind. must be.

talked to Zhi Liang about our class 05S6E over lunch.. talked about class spirit, bonding, interaction and the lot, and i end up with 4 words, 力不从心..

i am one who wishes everyone would bond together, and to a certain extent i acomplished it during LTC. yet in reality this ideal is not what it is to be.. regardless of whether it is action, looks or speech, i am one who watches things happen or doesnt know what the hell happened.. not one who makes things happened.. i am suppose to shut my mouth, not give suggestions or make jokes..

yet, it seemed that whatever higher power designed my combination is a rather screwed up one.. Conflicting Personalities.. it seemed that whatever i do, it is always in opposition to what i am supposed to do.. keep quiet when i am suppose to shut up.. try to lead when i am suppose to follow.. etc etc.

but i am still thankful that, for all my faults, there are many who still treat me as a friend.. even if it is the bare minimum.. perhaps i should adhere to what i am supposed to be instead of what i want to be.. perhaps it would be better.. perhaps it would be worse.. but either way, the neither-here-nor-there situation i am in now is not a solution to it anyhow..

看了别人的处境，我才真正地觉悟.. 其实我现在的情况一点儿也不坏，根本就是身在福中不知福.. 如果把我放在某人的位子，我真的不知如何去面对事实..

Random Pictures:

Hitsugaya Toushirou and Hinamori Momo

11:21 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, August 04, 2006

'Hypothesis Testing'?

i did a little experiment today.. to prove my theory that i thought of long ago..

Theory : the mouth is the exit for majority of our psychological stamina, especially during conversation and inter-personal interaction. without such tasks, the psychological strength can be conserved and used elsewhere.

Method : by restraining inter-personal interaction and talking to the bare minimum, i was able to try and conserve the psychological strength and use them elsewhere. hence, i restrained from talking and looking at others.

Result : i was able to concentrate fully in lecture, and i am much much more alert as compared to other times. though side effects include massive impulse to blurt out and speak, the constant mental concentration to stop talking (may not apply to all; concentration comparitively lesser than interaction with others), restlessness, urge to laugh and extremely dry throat, it is a much better way to study.

Conclusion : theory is proven true (at least for myself) though it is against my personality to maintain such behaviour through a long period of time ( conflicting personalities). also, in order to maintain my experimental environment, i.e. remain silent, i had to act like an idiot at times. not recomended unless a person has no problem surviving on his/her own and does not talk much. (tend to depend on environment, as my experiment was interupted when a silly teacher tried to rush through a long example in 5 minutes, which caused me to curse out loud unintentionally)

this theory came to me when i was thinking of autistic children. they rarely interact with others, sometimes not speaking at all, yet they have extraordinary IQ and memory. same theory can be applied to me when i am on the bus home. without anyone to talk to, i just keep thinking of random thoughts, which i would not normally do when i am in school or at home.

Why had i slowed down mentally?

last time, i was one who made fun of myself for the entertainment of others. this worked well with everyone except me, but this is more of intra-personal communication, so i was not very psychologically stressed.

now, i changed into one who made fun of others for the entertainment of myself. this did not work well with everyone except me. this also used more inter-personal communication, which constantly stressed my psychological stamina.

this stress resulted in my mental process slowing down due to the additional work. in retrospect, this did not help at all. maybe i should just scrap the new me and revert back to the old one. less stress more gain, more of like a win-win situation. altruism is a mortal flaw, but i am mortal anyway..

10:33 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Lady on the Bus

not so good these past few days.. especially now when i just finished one bottle of 10% Long Island Tea.. feeling a little woozy.. though i got some newfound motivation for Maths tutorials since i bought the Scream City Fullscap pad, life hasnt been good these days..

most importantly, what i sensed is on its way to coming true.. this is even confirmed by another friend who thought the same way as i did.. no idea what i am feeling or how i am suppose to feel..

was on my way home from school when something happened in the bus.. this one well-fed, round-faced lady waddled up the bus and without paying, walked straight to the back and plopped down onto a seat. We (as in some friends and i) didnt noticed until i saw the indian bus driver walking to the back to confront the lady..

(what i remembered..)

Driver : please madam, you haven't pay your ticket. please pay or get off the bus.

Lady: i only got a fifty dollar note. u got change meh? how i pay?

Driver : you are supposed to change before coming up the bus. please get off the bus now.

Lady : why you never tell me earlier?

Driver : at least you should tell me first. why you never tell me? please get off the bus.

Lady : why should i get off the bus? i don't have change cannot help it one what.

Driver : no no no cannot liddat one. please get off the bus or i call the police.

Lady : call call lah. i not scared. you go call lah.

Driver : you cannot liddat one. please get off the bus...

blah blah blah (4got what they said.. almost 5 minutes of arguing while the 50+ people in the bus waited.. some even reached into their pocket to see if they had loose change to shut that lady's nouth)

(cont. 5 mins later)

Driver : ok nevermind. i pay for you i pay for you. next time cannot liddat.

Lady : ...

Driver walks to the front, paid and got a ticket for the lady.

Driver : nah here. (walk back to driver seat)

Lady : Bastard sia. waste my time...

-End of Story-

poor bus driver.. had to endure such nonsense, as though not enough stress is put on him by driving so many people around.. sadly, this is the typical 'Ah Soh' type in Singapore.. plenty in the market.. not only do they yell and curse when bargaining, when i accidentally knock into them they would go "Ch** B** lah!! 头没长眼睛啊？" so much for Singapore Courtesy Campaign.. but at least the bus driver is still kind enough to say please..

ps: Self-fulfulling Prophecy is really self-fulfulling, even though it is almost 3 months old..

11:05 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Kuchiki Rukia

one of my favourite character in BLEACH, 她的性格和行为很像学校里的某一只小蚊子.. MUAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

though Rukia may be cool at times

she's so blur that she doesnt know what's happening most of the time

there are times when she is quite 文雅,

but most of the time she is just acting wierd..

she always gets thrown around, especially from high places (though she has acrophobia)

but dont underestimate her, or you are gonna be barbequed

last but not least, she has an addiction to cute things

evident even as she tried to draw good and evil

interesting person, isnt she?

11:17 AM

`` stoningg

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Birthdays..

first and foremost, the Physics Re-Exam is silly.. why is there a NYJC Physics Paper 3 without ANY Fluids questions?? made me concentrate on Fluids only to have it not coming out AT ALL!!!

saw my Secondary School classmate Melissa at School of Thought.. long long time neva see her le.. still the same i think.. anyway i got bitten by the stupid hamster inside the office.. one of these days i am gonna bite it back, if i can get my hands on it..

my grandfather's (maternal side) and my 表姐's daughter's daughter birthday celebration today.. interesting cos a 2 year old little girl is playing basketball and soccer with a bunch of 15-18 year olds.. i didnt even know she can pose for the camera until we taught her how to act when she scored a soccer goal (FYI you are actually suppose to run round flaunting while waving your hands in the air like a lunatic)..

its a start.. my other cousins think she will be a Neoprint addict when she grows up..

17-1+2+2.. -1 because one of my 表姐 is not there.. +1 because another 表姐's husband and daughther are inside.. +2 because my grandparents are inside.. (picture abit blur.. had to resize it by alot to fit in here)

we were also watching NDP fireworks and F-16 fly past at my grandparent's house.. clear view of the airspace of the stadium.. but sadly my 表姐's daughter is scared of fireworks because a TV once exploded right in front of her.. kind of like a phobia we are trying to change..

Random Thoughts

You can't lose what you can never have.. 在我们的生命中，有许多东西是我们永远也无法拥有的.. 就如天上的星星，即使我们怎么伸手，还是摸不到.. 只能在陆地不停地仰望，希望它会闪烁一辈子，永远都不会灭掉..

10:03 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Senses Overdrive

maybe it is because i trained too much.. or the stress from reality crashing down on me, screaming 'YOU ARE LAGGING!!!'.. but lately, my senses have being going on overdrive, screaming informations that are feasible which, because they are sensed, may also have a probability of being wrong..

like what happened today.. though i knew the information is highly improbable, it still kept repeating itself in my head no matter how many times i tried to counter-argue against it.. debating with my own self until i am mentally exhausted to think about anything else..

perhaps i cant control my thoughts, now that i am starting to get stressed on studies.. 一心不能二用.. even for a Planeswalker that remains true.. 人生中，做任何事一定要一心一意，不能见异思迁，否则不但不会事半功倍，反而还会害到自己绕原位转，到头来还是一事无成..

Anti-Ideal Gas Law.. assume masses of humans are negligible as compared to the mass of the Universe, and that inter-human attraction is not critical in the bonding.. with the addition of pressure the particles should move closer.. yet that is not the case.. the particles sometimes move apart and stop interacting with others by stopping their activities.. though these theories do not realistically apply to real life as the assumptions are not always true, unless the person is a small-sized antisocial introvert..

10:33 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Two Sides, One Coin

i sensed ... something.. not as strong as the other i sensed before, the one which i confirmed only days before, but it is there..

to make or break what is to be, both are within my grasp.. 可能是我想太多了，but if this is what it will be, it may not be so bad afterall, depending on the perspective.. if it is to be, i finally will be able to learn what i should have learnt someday..

perhaps it has something to do with me being a Libra, something with balancing both sides of the situation, but in reality it is not always the case.. in order for one to be happy, somewhere someone would sure be sad.. it is the inevitable truth.. yet these are not always in equal proportion, as the bad always outweigh the truth.. it is this unbalance that had caused me distress since my childhood days.. but, 'waste not, want not', if nobody ever feels sadness, joy would have no meaning..

perhaps i should catalyse the event, instead of passively watching the inevitable.. what must be, will be.. perhaps i should be the one who is sad, so others can be happy.. if this is the way it will be, it is the path i will take..

I always resist what must be,
therefore I am never what I should be.
Yet this is not stopping how it's going to be,
for what must be,
will be.

张翅高飞，但却被射了下来... 人生就是那么的可悲..

10:09 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, July 24, 2006

Interesting Day..

Interesting day.. started out normally, boring flag raising, boring breaks, boring tutorials.. only until the middle of the day did it start getting interesting..

1. we started getting hunted by teachers for ponning lessons
2. saw a weird letter (quote : after reading your blog, 我的心和你的一样，都碎了..)
3. slaughtered an ant in the library
4. suddenly had a interest in Maths tutorials
5. hunted by teacher again (i was sure he saw me)
6. celebrated Connie's birthday
7. got splattered by some cake
8. did some splattering
9. ate pizza with strawberry topping

they were talking about some 看头-thing which i absolutely have no idea about.. even though Xinyu and Justin tried to explain in the least embarassing manner (i had a feeling that it was embarassing), i still dont get it.. guess my chinese standard is still horrigible..

some random thoughts

purpose is what defines us as humans.. everyone lives for a purpose, whether to lead or to serve.. without purpose, there would not be any point in living..

庆祝朋友十九岁生日时，回想自己已快要十八岁了.. 这十八年以来，我所做的一切，在回忆中，没有一件事是为了别人，全都是自私的行为.. 我一生的使命就只是为了自己吗？这样没意义地过着生活，有必要吗？

9:02 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Untitled

went Peifen's house for housewarming on friday.. main attraction of the day would go to Peifen's dog, Toffy.. 久仰大名.. heard bout him since my Primary School Days but that was my 1st time seeing him.. hyperactive dog which surprisingly, doesnt bite anyone (except Justin, but only once, so may consider to be anomaly).. for a 9 year old dog, chronically equivalent to a 63 year old human being, he is able to run all over the place without bones creaking.. dogs should rule the world..

Sarah, Peifen's niece, was fascinated with Ming Jue's earing i think.. keep coming near her and hurrying back to her mom when they made eye contact.. and the way she plays with Gizmo (one of pf's sis' dog), *shudders*, amazing how the dog can 忍 its fur and skin being pinched like that..

then while i was BLEACH-ing in Peifen's Brother's room, who was my Scouts senior long long ago, Peifen's nephew Sean came.. was inside the room for over an hour so didnt see the shy part of him.. only saw Connie being a teacher and teaching Sean how to read the words in the game..

Fido, the big Golden Retriever in pf's sis' house.. remind me of Chelsea, my friend Johannes' dog, though Fido is a little smaller.. Fido is very friendly, to the extent that it kissed Justin and Connie the moment it saw them (i made a mental note of keeping my head further away when petting him).. but i heard he is a little attention seeking, so in order to be able to play with the smaller dog Gizmo, Fido was kept locked in the kitchen.. poor dog..

had some weird dream today when i slept through most of the afternoon today.. its weird because i know it is a horror flick, i know the title, i know what is about to happen, yet i am one of the characters in it.. not sure how to describe the 'weirdness', but it was called 'The Lift'.. stupid name for a stupid dream.. where i was sort of trapped in a void deck of a HDB by a friggin' big tar churning machine which was suppose to dissolve part of the building to build a lift shaft.. one poor guy levelling the floor was gone just like that, dissolved away by the boiling tar.. somehow i managed to escape between the catepillar treads, and when i turned i saw a MacDonalds' sign being destroyed.. what's weird was some friends then came out of the path i took, and we waited for someone to have a haircut (cant rmb who).. while waiting i went into a shop that sold Airplane Models for $1.60 a piece (WOW!!!).. we then went for a meal, during which i was suppose to call Yiwen cos she disappeared somewhere to sleep.. laughing at her being a pig before going Gundam Shopping.. woke up with a giant headache..

come to think of it, it absolutely makes no sense, but at least i am able to remember some parts of one that was so long..

虽然生活在'现在'，但我真人却流浪回忆里.. 不停地回想以前的事，重新回故往事，同时希望它们不会消失.. 不管是喜是悲，我都想烙印在心上，但这并非如此.. 就像要握着细沙.. 抓地越紧，越多就会漏掉..

9:11 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Pirates Ahoy!!!

went to watch Pirates of the Carribean : Dead Man's Chest today.. the new Cathay Cinema is superb.. nice place nice deco nice theatre nice service.. food's cheaper than GV i think..

ok the show has high entertainment value, though i think it fails in the plot development part.. and we ( Shawn Fuquan Yiwen n Me) waited for 5+ minutes just to see a DOG being worshipped.. kind of silly.. oh one more thing.. the cousin of the Sotongs, aka Kraken, is amazing..

wasnt feeling well the whole of today, till just now.. kept feeling very hot due to the fact that my bbody temperature is low, and a little disorientated.. overall the feeling's just not right.. hope its not another bout of sickness.. school's gonna slaughter me if i missed the Physics retest next Saturday..

just confirmed something i sensed long long time ago.. always been wondering why i have a feeling of animosity whenever i near that person.. at least now i know why..

没什么大事发生.. 没什么小事发生.. 但原以为是个平常的一天，演变成了一个令我厌倦度过的时间.. 每时每刻都在发呆，同时也在胡思乱想.. 只有到了最后，我才能有解放.. 希望这是最后一次了...

10:53 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Random Thoughts

long long time no post.. very busy watching BLEACH.. must say i am not sure how i survived the past 6 days.. i watched 70 episodes, averaging about 6 per day, 20 mins per episode, meaning 3 hours a day on youtube..

this was what happened when water+soap got into my eyes just now.. plus a little lighting effect..

interesting?

lotsa things happened these few days.. though my memory capacity only span until monday i think.. just a brief state-the-main-points of what happened, not in order (goes to show my memory categorising is in a mess).. still got some BLEACH-ing to do..

1. saw a jumping cockroach.. think it was too nervous when i near it.. just jumped and flipped itself..wierd..

2. watched Superman.. nice show, though Lex is a downright moron and the reconcillation part of Clark and Lois is abit too draggy..

3. went back CCHMS.. still looks like its moulding (yellow in color), but at least the teachers arent as bad as i thought they would be.. they didnt suan my results at least..

4. got my toe stomp on by a lady with heels on the bus.. *ouch*

5. Maths retest is a letdown.. i didnt study well and the Maths Department didnt reset the whole paper as they promised..

think that's about all.. had a wierd dream last night.. dreamt that i was sort of going on a holiday with a few planeswalking friends.. the way we just disappear from one country and appear in another instantly (i remembered one of the days just so happened to be New Year and i spent it in India).. i remembered at one point we stole 2 cabinet-full of valuables from some rich guy and blow up the rest of his house.. its like one of those long dreams that i almost got myself lost into..

i've not been that well lately.. lessons are slipping by and i cant catch anything.. gotta catch up somehow.. plus, my sensing of people and reflexes are abit off lately.. totally cant sense Xinyu's presence though she's right next to me.. train on this i must..

做骑士是我的荣幸，并不是个牺牲.. 但骑士也会有失手的时候.... 可悲.. 幸亏这次一点儿也不严重，虽然反应太慢，但没造成什么伤害.. 我的反应已不如以前了.. 怎么办？

8:28 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Memories

just spent 2 hour+ (right after the past entry till now) looking through my archives.. saw the variations and constants of my life.. felt the flood of emotions when i touched each artefact that holds a memory from my past.. saw the feelings that each picture captured..

good and bad, my past had been filled with both.. which is more i dont remember.. that's the reason i kept an archive in the first place.. because i want to remember things that i forgot..

maybe forgetting is good.. with too much memory i may even be slowed/paralyzed because i live in a world of memories instead of realities.. too much i have forgotten.. too much i am supposed to remember.. though i merely glanced at each article inside my archive, it still took me a good hour to go through all..

looking at the present state of things, forgetting the past yet dreading the future, i would give anything just to reverse time, so that i can relive one of those days which i do not have to give a damn about exams and hierarchy, not caring whether i pass or fail, live or die.. just lay back and let things flow by..

10:12 PM

`` stoningg

What Must Be Will Be

died very horribly today.. being out of phase with studying for so long, going back to school is a torture itself.. plus, got back physics chem n maths papers, some part some full.. but just the same.. what must be will be.. never studying much must lead to such results..

Chemistry - 46%

Physics - 56% (so far, only got back one paper)

Maths - 54.5% (only paper 1)

considering the fact that i only sat for half of maths and 2/3 of physics, i technically failed 2 paper for mid years.. great, just great..

been having mixed feelings throughout the day.. seeing people around me getting results both good and bad, and not knowing how to react to both situations.. must really work on my interpersonal skills, though being a loner would render such training useless..

speaking of training, my patience training is going well, especially since the principal organise talk for Exam Absentees.. he spoke a long long time about nothing much.. more training for my patience.. soon i can act as a stone wall..

went Sentosa yesterday.. dat's why today so tired.. dun feel like writing bout that.. too lazy and too much to write about..

saw the GSX-401FW Stargazer lineart today.. very very very disappointed about the Gundam, considering that it had a whole series named after it.. was expecting it to be better designed..

刚听到这句话，给我一种恐怖的感觉：‘这是上天欠我的，是我一生应得的，没人能阻止我得到它..’

希望拿回全部考试成绩后，会有推动力去读书..

7:31 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Random Thoughts

I resist what must be,
therefore i am not what i should be.
But this is not what it is to be,
because what must be,
will be.

现在十分矛盾.. 从小以来，回忆中许多都有你.. 已经习惯的我，想放开但不知如何放.. 想忘记但不知如何忘..

10:18 PM

`` stoningg

头痛

今天所做的事：

1. 头痛

2. 起床

3. 头痛

4. 读书（我可能有发疯的现象）

5. 头痛

6. 出门吃午餐

7. 头痛

8. 睡午觉

9. 头痛

10. 吃晚餐

11. 头痛

12. 看戏

13. 头痛

真是个有趣的一天...

与世隔离得我，一直以为世界是多么的平静，多么的美好.. 但事实是这样吗？

8:33 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Stupid Answers

saw this picture from a email called "Ever gone into an exam having not revised?".. gave me quite a laugh..

got the 'ok' for Sentosa.. YEAH!!! but my dad did tried to make me feel remorseful for going out to enjoy before exam ended.. said alot of things which i thought was meaningful but yet totally off topic when we were discussing on whether can i go out..

nothing else, just that tonight (early tomorrow morning) is the Germany vs Portugal Match.. think it will be a nice one, with Germany winning.. not a good game predictor, but i suppose a 2-1 with Germany winning should be a good guess..

6:31 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, July 07, 2006

Untitled

went Suntec/Marina Bay after Physics paper.. dont feel like writing about the past week..feeling lazy now.. rough summary (will write if i have time on Monday), JJ concert, mid yr exams, getting sick, mom's birthday..

had a shopping spree yesterday..the others shop for clothes while i shop for gundam.. ended up everyone bought something, whether for themselves or someone else..

saw this again at Simply Toys.. still think it looks very nice.. especially since the speeder does not even touch the platform.. the whole model is supported by the scout trooper's left feet..

finished the Gundam i bought yesterday in record time.. less than 24 hours after i bought i finished it.. considering that it is a Master Grade, meaning it has about 400 pieces, each which i must trim and line..

posing with the Gundam MK-II

走着走着，隐约听见周围的人在说话.. 但脑子不清醒的我，五句只听进一句，实在无法理解他们再说什么.. 因此，我就关闭自己，不顾周围的一切，只是不停地往前走，走向一个深藏在脑海中的目的..

8:39 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

“她”

i really dont like trips to Plaza Singapura for grocery shopping.. went there to buy a ice cream cake for my mom's birthday celebration later in the night.. the ice cream being the cake..

first lesson learnt - never try to give way to women with big handbags. best option is to jump out of the way. one such lady came charging like a bulldozer, i moved a little to the side to make way and got rammed till i was facing the other way..

second lesson learnt - 20+ oranges still counts as one item. one couple was arguing at the Express Lane of Carefour (less than 10 items). the wife insist that their 20+ oranges in their basket is considered one item, so they still qualify for the express lane.. that includes a dozen apples, some ice cream, sauces and vegetables.. i was rolling my eyes throughout their argument.. someone must have thought i was having a seizure or something..

my father always said that eating chocolate was a sin, because it adds lots of weight. i saw a great sin at PS, great being the chocolate bar weighing 2.7 tons.. so nett weight gain when chocolate is eaten would first be 27000kg, then minus some for metabolism, add to the average 70kg per human weight.. it still round up to a considerable sum of 2.7 ton.. not bad..

my father always mean well, though his methods are harsh at times, and frequently outdated so ultimately wrong, but they are of goodwill.. so being always active and 逆水而流, i've decided to adopt a passive stance and let the river push me where i go.. after all it was MY decision to not go for the tests..

走进东北线文庆地铁站, 我感应到“她”在附近.. 虽然我已逐渐习惯没有“她”的生活，却同时也很恨自己会那么想，但始终还是没改变我的想法.. 匆忙地冲进地铁站，不去想工作人员瞪我的眼神，我在站内绕了一圈, 但却没看到熟悉的脸孔.. 本想再次寻找，但地铁已经到来.. 车门张开时的声音是如此的刺耳.. 身负重任的我，只好上车，看着车门闭上，望着窗外的景色变黑...

5:32 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Funny Beer Ad

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hGIJYoBNTPk&search=IPA%20Beer

3:12 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Back

sick for the past week

lots to say

but not now

tired

not fully recovered

exams not over

update later

nuff said

10:55 PM

`` stoningg

Attack of the Dark Cockroaches.. Again!!!

i was medidating inside a room with 2 other planeswalkers (2 cousins and me playing computer) when we were called for a mission.. a Dark Cockroach is sighted once again.. since its nearby (next room)we decided to lend a helping hand..

walking to the next room, i was handed a lightsaber (roll of Today newspaper, yesterday's edition, ironic).. last one to enter the room, i magically sealed the area, preventing an escape (locking the door).. the cockroach lunged just as i was finishing my spell.. taking two swings at it, i missed and staggered back.. a new variant, it was able to levitate itself and fly using the dark side of the Force..

the evil cockroach landed in the equipment area (where we put ALL our handphone).. my fellow planeswalkers wanted to use force lightning (insecticide), but was detered by the expensive and fragile equipment surrounding it.. swing the lightsaber above it, i was able to provoke it into another attack..

this time, i waited for its attack.. it flew right at my face.. with a flick of my hand, i felt the beam connect with the evil cockroach's body.. the cockroach few towards the wall and... disappeared???

we were stunned for a moment, then we searched the entire room but to no avail.. the Dark Cockroach has escaped once again..

10:13 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, June 23, 2006

Battle of Genova's Portal

Battle of Genova’s Portal. A strategically important artifact, one which holds unmatched power, even by a planeswalker. Rumored to be created by the Eldars that roamed the world before time, the portal allowed anyone to be transported anywhere in the multi-verse with just a thought. Though it is a one way portal, in the hands of Phyrexians it could spell doom for Dominaria.

Situated on a hill, the gigantic artifact had survived the onslaught of time, no scars or burns recorded the countless battle occurred in this area. Inscribed on the frame are the words left by the Eldars, when translated read “Unprecedented power, unmatched forever. For good for ill, it’s all up to you”.

As the sun rises from the east, the Phyrexian legions shimmered into being. Exactly 10800 shock troops, expected but not favorable when all I have is a one-man army.

Charging over an undulated land, the vanguard lifted rifle implanted hand and fired black mana bolts. With a thought, I summoned a wall of air, which deflected the attack into the ground. The magnitude of the multiple bolts tearing into the ground ripped a chasm between the army and me, sending a shockwave which caused the vanguard to stagger.

Slowing of the front lines caused the rest of the army to crowd together, just what I needed. Lowering my hands, I let loose an arc of lightning at a low level. The energy fanned out, burning away the knees of Phyrexians. Without support, most fall to the ground and either got trampled or fried by the latent energy.

Feeling 5400 sparks of life wink out, I smiled and formed a katana from the air. Watching the Phyrexians trying to untangle themselves from the mess of charred arms and legs, occasionally generating a spark with the metallic parts and igniting the oil-blood. This resulted in magnificent blue fireworks as more Phyrexians burst like popcorns.

Feeling the drain from the lightning attack, I spare a moment to take a breather, simultaneously enchanting the katana to be razor sharp and extremely light, making it deadly and agile.

‘Good, 4500 left.’

The first Phyrexian got within two feet before I took off the head with a simple flick of my wrist. Spinning like a top, I chopped through the legion like a man hacking cane. The silver tornado desecrated everything in its path, leaving twitching halves in its wake.

A claw got past my defense and tore a long gash in my side. I stopped spinning, grabbed the offending arm and vaporized the Phyrexian. In that pause, countless claws reach in and ripped chunks of my flesh.

‘I cannot win, there is no hope.’

With no strength left for another lightning attack, and too distracted healing myself to planeswalk away, I was helpless in the midst of the Phyrexian swarm.

Suddenly, the ground beneath fell away, showing red lava underfoot. At the instant I was free of reaching claws, I planeswalk away, reappearing next to the portal. The remaining Phyrexian army fell to their deaths as the ancient defense mechanism of the portal triggered a pitfall to the core of the world.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I ‘walked away, hoping to find some rest before the Battle of Mercadia days later.

9:57 PM

`` stoningg

Hunger Strike?

no i didnt starve myself.. i dont have any new ideology or legislation to push for, and am not on a diet.. i just dont feel like eating anyway..

GP today is half half.. did a big mistake in my composition.. chose a question which i later realised was a idiot question, as Mr Tong would put it.. didnt even touch much on Science and Tech.. sadly i only saw through the ruse one hour into the paper.. too late to change question, just have to make do with what i have..

Comprehension is, as always, just like Toto.. strike or not is difficult to say.. but at least in my perspective i am still able to see where the question lead and find some reasonable answer.. hope i dont die too badly for GP..

my 2nd sister found this picture on the internet.. the same picture my mother cross-stitched before i was born.. it is now hanging in my parents' room..

as seen in the picture, there are 2 boys and 3 girls.. was always hoping for a younger brother.. but, too bad..

a bug flew onto my sis's lap.. she freaked out and screamed.. no one saw the bug flew away, but it disappeared.. perhaps it was disintegrated by my sister's legendary corrosive breathe.. started in a story written by my cousin [Wee Leng and the Park of a Thousand Crows (1996)].. scary..

在白板上写了三篇文章.. 但世上可能只有我看得懂.. 这样有用吗？到现在，我还搞不清楚写这些的目的.. 但每次写出来时心中好像放下了重任似的，让我恢复理智.. 没目的没问题，只要能避免我发疯就可以了..

7:55 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, June 22, 2006

War

and so it begins.. war on heaven, war on hell.. regardless, its a war..

望着道墙的我，突然听见背后传来百万人马的声音.. 往后一看，眼前数百万的敌军，准备向我冲来.. 没办法，唯一办法就是正面应战，只希望我无法越过的墙能够阻止敌人的前进，保护墙后的人...

来吧.. 不够准备也没办法.. 只希望不要死得太难看..

8:26 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Random Thoughts

Germany's Soccer team is freaking super!!! their precision passing is unmatched in any other team i've seen so far.. the Ecuador match yesterday was fantastic.. England vs Sweden is only considered entertaining.. though that's kinda diminished because i woke up 3 in the morning just to watch.. half of my brain still sleeping when England scored the first goal..

because of staying up for soccer, i had a headache in the morning.. was suppose to meet the gang to study at 12, but i only woke up at 11.. i even 4got to bring the Over the Hedge to school to let them watch.. late night soccer matches arent for me..

nothing else much happened.. went school to study, gone J8 shopping for presents, with my pathetic $5 which is supposed to last till end of July.. its horrible when you suddenly find 90% of next month's allowance gone missing..

had some stupid dream about running up a wave breaker to escape a tidal wave coming from a broken dam.. still had to jump to keep my head above water..kinda dramatic when i tried to surf with my feet.. then with 2 other people we wanted to shut off a tap that supplied the water.. walked into a mental hospital with zombies as patients.. luckily they didnt bother me..

speaking of mental hospital, i saw a brand of wine from Califonia called Woodbridge.. coincidence? or does the name come from the high number of people going into IMH from drinking the wine??

多么怀念那时候，我们全躺在操场上，无忧地望着星罗棋布的夜空.. 不像现在，匆忙地为考试做准备..

精疲力尽的我，思想有点儿‘歪’.. 心不知脑在想什么.. 脑也不了解心的意义.. 还是去休息比较好吧..

8:43 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Elvish

studied like crazy today.. cheong the maths syllabus till my brain gave up at about 4 plus.. Differential Equation was the topic i stopped.. 完蛋了..

i've learnt elvish quite some time ago.. not exactly the language, just using their alphabets to substitute.. its like using the alphabets of ancient greek to substitute letter-by-letter to write a english paragraph..

just a passage of what i wrote today..

我不停地走着，突然眼前出现了一座墙.. 站在墙前，我不知所辍，只是站在哪儿望着墙壁.. 在墙后，我隐约听见朋友的声音.. 但，我不知如何越过那座墙.. 就这样，我站在墙前，听着他们的欢笑，但自己却无法参入.. 不知为什么，我开始在墙上写出自己的心声，写出心里的话.. 没过多久，整座墙便被涂满了.. 但我始终还是不知过墙的方法.. 因此，我便痴痴地等着，等着...

8:30 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, June 19, 2006

Chung Cheng High School (Main)

went back 中正中学.. the place changed alot.. to the extent that i began to doubt the sanity of the principal to allow such changes to happen..

first, ALL the school's building is painted YELLOW.. no freaking idea why.. just that it doesnt match the green traditional-chinese-temple roof.. so the whole school looks alien to me when i first returned there.. and the lake.. its shores are no longer gravel rock, but grass, and the lake seemed to have receded.. it now only have a fraction of the grandeur it once had during my time in the school..

but other than that, the lake is still nice.. we were watching a stork on the rooftop of the new block (wonder why its still called that.. its about 6 years old).. it was having some 脱毛现象.. saw a few of its feathers floated away into the lake.. and it mostly just stood there and stared into the water.. funny bird..

one of the new addition to the school was a gateway near the gym, called the 状元门.. utterly a waste of monetary resource for a structure that has no purpose whatsoever..

still, on account of the coming mid-years we walked through it in hopes that we have good grades.. one can still dream..

在荒芜的平地横行，我长了一双冰翅膀.. 当周围的情景使我无法忍受时，我便躲在冰翅内.. 当天气恶化时，我便把冰翅当伞.. 在这冷漠的世界，用冰翅来防身，我可是别无选择.. 就这样，我孤独地走着，寻找个连自己都不知的目标...

10:05 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Random Thoughts

望星者.. think its because of the Gundam Seed STARGAZER series that i suddenly took a liking to looking at stars more closely than i have ever done before.. not something good when i have to cram study periods to my already-packed-with-personal-interest timetable.. anyway i just realised the different ways different cultures look at these celestial giants..

Westerners, especially the Europe area, look at constellations.. meaning they worship stars as a group, not individuals.. though they give names to individual stars, they still view stars as a group of a picture (Zodiac)..

Easterners (sounds wierd), mainly China, view stars as individuals, and associate them with heavenly characters.. they do not group stars according to pictures (at least not to my knowledge, which is not much actually)..

met a Primary School teacher on the bus 2 days ago.. slipped my mind till now.. Mr Poon, i remembered.. didnt dare to speak to him, because hundreds of students passed before them since the time i was in Bendemeer Primary, so quite difficult for him to remember a specific one.. even though he looked very tired and in disarray, but i still hold him in awe, as i still do to all my Primary School teachers.. perhaps this is because they have been in my memory longer than my Secondary and JC teachers, so their status is still much higher than the latter group.. can recall how he use to show my class his 'magic box', one which he can put in tissue paper and take out money.. we were only Primary 2 then.. very innocent..

didnt do any studying today.. was busy with the Da VinCi Code.. started on the book this afternoon.. fortunately, or unfortunately, i am halfway through.. depending on whether i am about to finish or i still have half more to go..

雨过天晴，但眼前还是一片白.. 听不见鸟语.. 闻不到花香.. 只是无边无际的空白平地.. 虽然我在这儿已住了十二年，但感觉像是到了陌生地方似的.. 抛入这熟悉但陌生的地方，我是否能够适应？

8:19 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Mr Tong, the 'Threatening'

nothing much happened today.. 4 hr GP lesson is fun.. we finally decided to resuffle the class.. the original quiet-one-class noisy-one-class plan is abolished.. we realised that the quiet ones are feeling 'threatened' by Mr Tong.. no idea why.. so we rate each one of us according to our 'level of threatened', and changed the class to the least threatened together and the more 'threatened' together.. we changed to Zhi Liang, Darren, Chewy, Jeslin, Priscilla, Wan Ting n Me one class.. Samantha, Pamela, (Pris n Pam's fren.. 4got her name), Yi Yuan (surprisingly she's very quiet in GP tuition) n Yu Zhu..

many thanks to Justin.. he gave me a Audio-to-Handphone-Headset jack.. which allowed me to blast songs from my handphone at my Grandmother's house today.. can imagine i blasting Devil in Disguise with a good Stereo Speaker.. my cousin's daughter was also dancing to the music.. ;)

ok gotta go watch how Portugal thrash Iran.. nuff said..

10:02 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, June 16, 2006

RAW!!!!

just had a fantastic dinner.. not sure at what restaurant near national stadium there.. but its a all-you-can-eat buffet.. and it had one section of sashimi.. all by itself.. WOW!!!

yah so i ate a full meal of raw stuffs.. salmon, oysters, fish, all different types.. especially the oysters.. they are absolutely fantastic.. oh and the not so raw stuff, which includes escargot (snails), scallop still in their shells, mussels, cold crab and prawn, cold noodles.. think i'm gonna get a stomachache from all the raw and semi-raw seafood..

but at least i still did some study at Suntec Coffeebean.. finished some Physics.. not alot, but at least some.. though there were some little distractions like arcade, Simply Toys branch shop which was jammed with Star Wars products and the Hobby Shop with plenty of Gundams.. couldnt resist..

甜甜 treated me a honey chicken leg today.. no idea why, just that she like to treat people cos she like to see them eat.. and suddenly i felt like an animal inside the feeding portion of a zoo.. oh well.. must be thankful that someone wants to treat me..

9:23 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Bus Ride

went school to study today.. proud to say that at least i finished about 1/2 of yr 1's Chemistry syllabus.. though realising that revising Reaction Kinetics and Chemical Equilibra at one go is a very big mistake.. was almost brain dead by the end..

dreamt of a stupid crow crashing into someone walking ahead of me.. as stated, stupid dream..

the bus ride home today is different from last time.. there's nothing.. nothing at all.. though i still do the usual random reflections, listen to music, i cant help feeling that there's something missing.. but what can i do? liddat lor..

10:26 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

'Great' Day

nice morning.. woke up at 8 and realised that my headache is still there (maybe brain tumour or something).. dad asked me to go upstairs and water my grandparents' plants (they are in Taiwan till nxt tuesday).. then asked me to wash all the aircon filters.. after that do a few more chores and wow!! its 12 noon..

headache still there after lunch so i decided to rest awhile.. choose a random movie to watch.. flipped to the Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King EXTENDED VERSION.. yarh so watch watch watch by the time i finished its already 4 plus.. nice day wasted.. havent even started studying for exams..

i really cant do work at home.. its like there's a time warp in the building or something.. no matter whether i enjoy or dislike what i am doing the time just passed so fast, not like school, where time slows to a snail's pace.. must be some time distortion or something..

some nice gif images

ps:一厢情愿是件痛苦的事..

4:31 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Migraine

very very big headache.. so bad that i cant study today.. tried to in school, but ended up sleeping..

was on my way home when i saw some children, about 8 to 9 years old, playing at the playground beside my flat.. they were holding little sticks and yelling "BANG BANG!!", and grabbing a thick yet short branch as a grenade.. interesting sight which is very rare these few days, because most children rather play with computer games than sticks and swings.. sad how technology caused a change which in my opinion is a detrimental change.. powerful science and tech may be, it may also cause the downfall of Man..

shallnt write more.. head still throbbing..

ps: self-fulfulling prophercy (something i wrote regarding bus journeys home)

7:26 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, June 12, 2006

Wild Wild Wet

had a fun day at Wild Wild Wet.. it does not matter if i keep playing the same rides over and over again, but rather who i am playing with.. i must say that place is a rough one.. whole day get wet then dried while queueing, afters get wet again and the cycle repeats.. i am now burnt, scratched, bruised and very tired.. wonder if i'll get sick soon..

some interesting things that happened.. first and most impressionable, i just so happened to see someone wearing a swimwear, hot pink and too small, to the extent that the butt is half-exposed, and the front... shldnt describe anyway.. say no evil.. worse part of all, it was a 40+ old man, balding and all that.. we all were like 'WTH!!!! THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!!'

nxt is one guy with tatoos all over his back and reeking of cigarette smoke.. the wordings of the tatto goes something like this, “心里永远只有你，(forgot this part)，如今难以忘记你，只怪当初太爱你..." looks kinda wierd especially since its surrounded by centipedes..

had fun listening to people screaming at the 2 scream-able rides, the Samsung Slide-up and the Olar-lah family ride.. the Slide-up people screaming normally goes like this, ahhhhhhhhh-whew-ahhhhhhhhh.. the other is like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-*breathe*-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

drank one whole cup of wine in the chalet after drying up.. not sure whether i am drunk, because i am already red.. but i can now still feel the heat radiating from me.. i look like a lobster.. more so with the anger i felt when all the Xbox games bought from Australia isnt regionally compatible with my Xbox.. crap.. used my anger and slaughtered my friends in Revenge of the Sith.. Perfect KOed them a few times.. oh and though watching the show for the first time, i can say that Superband group Soul is absolutely superb.. hope they win..

think that's about all.. gotta start studying.. exams not far away, yet i still havent start much..

10:21 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Untitled

everything feel so right now.. yiwen not angry with me anymore, peifen hasnt moved to Sengkang, grandma not experiencing any more heart problems, family's back home, ava camp's over, stocktaking's over, exams still a little far off (though quite near), chalet later (can relax), found out that i can watch world cup on SCV at home (dad didnt realise he subscribed to the channel), and most importantly, i am happy once again..

finally found the nerve that connects my tear glands to the emotional cortex of the brain last night.. thought i lost it four years ago..

throughout the whole saga, i finally realised i was the evil one, leading a jedi astray and destroying a system without even realising it.. that's the scary part, as i wasnt able to see the big picture.. luckily someone intervened, or else everything, even myself, would have been destroyed..

watched a show at National Library 3 days ago, but because too caught up with my evil deeds i forgotten about it..

独在家乡为异人.. 虽然我不完全明白这整部剧的意思，但从我所理解的正好让我想起我对Yishun的怀念.. 一个因为我还小，不能决定居住在何处而与那地方告辞；正好反映了我心爱的明智小学被拆下的情景.. 一个对我而言充满了回忆的地方，但在别人眼中只算是个顶路的建筑物，不得不把它拆下来，换个新的..

这些回忆能不能保留，我是力不从心.. 因此我下定决心，收藏了能让我记得常见的小事，如家人的关怀，和朋友看戏的快乐... 我这么做是为了避免长大以后，因生活忙碌而忘了当初人家对我的一番好意..

9:03 AM

`` stoningg

Saturday, June 10, 2006

棉花糖的小男孩

Some people may think this entry is dumb, but i write it so that i'll never forget the mistake i made..

Part 1

我是个棉花人偶，总是那么软弱，那么憔悴.. 我一生中最怕的是水，一碰到水便会融化..

这几天一直下着茫茫大雨，一直没有松懈的现象.. 没法子的我，每当出门时就得多在雨伞下..

雨不停地下着，一下就下了一个星期.. 久而久之，我便开始把多在伞下当作理所当然的一件事.. 第三天以后，我出门时连看也不看，直接就躲在伞下..

我是否错过了雨过天晴的时候？躲在伞下的我，只想自己的事，只要水不动到我，我连搭载什么都不管.. 可能就是因为这样，太阳出现时，看见我不在乎的表情，打算回到下雨的天气.. 我也就因此继续活在自己的世界...

Part 2

今天，就如平常，我出门前就已经打开雨伞了.. 但这次一粒苹果从天而降，正好砸到我的脚.. 我想：只是一支脚痛罢了，没什么事.. 我继续走着，多一粒苹果又砸了我另一支脚.. 我立刻往上看，只看到一片蓝蓝的天空，太阳灿烂的光..

这时我才觉悟，如果我继续躲在雨伞下，就可能永远不能再看见阳光了.. 而我需要两粒苹果来让我知道原来雨已经停了..

我十分的后悔，因为我只顾自己的世界，而忽略了周围的东西.. 就因为我，害得两粒平果也受了点伤.. 我实在感到很后悔.. 大家请原谅我..

10:31 PM

`` stoningg

End of AVA Term

last day of AVA camp.. very very tired.. past few days only sleeping 4 hours every night.. not enough to rest my exhausted mind before it goes into another day of torture..

but now, everything's ended.. i am no longer a NY'AVA Exco member, no longer in charge of any equipments, no longer in charge of any events, no longer in charge of anything except my own life.. not exactly a burden lifted, as the life in AVA for the past one and a half year is one of the happiest times in NYJC, where we do events together, coordinate both sounds and lights and our cursing of the unreasonable in-charges.. playing with profile lights and equalizing feedbacks, using microphone stands as repeater blasters and microphone as clubs, wires as strangling noose and followspot as a rocket launcher.. cursing unreasonable teachers and students liason with attitude problems, feeling relieved when any event is over.. feeling the adrenaline when a feedback occurs, the sense of truimph when the feedback is negated.. all these ends today, yet i only feel a piquancy of loss, not tears.. i must have already hardened my heart to the extent that my tear glands do not even respond to my feelings anymore.. still, congratulations to the 7 who made it into the Exco.. i'll really, really miss Nanyang JC and the NY'AVA team..

10:20 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, June 09, 2006

棉花糖的小男孩

today's a tiring day, both mentally and physically..

water games in the morning, so ended up very wet and tired from all the running.. mentally tired also from trying to lie to myself(shall not elaborate).. rest of the camp went without any major hitch..

GP tuition was very interesting, though my already exhausted and confused mind is unable to take in any more information, i still tried to absorb as much as possible, until about 10pm when i started finding myself stoning involuntarily.. that's when i gave up..

still, gotta thank the song 萤火虫 for pulling me through these few days.. and gotta thank Shawn for kindly spending extra time finding the song for me.. interesting how a song sung to me whenever i was sad or scared more than 14 years ago can still have the same soothing effect 14 years later..

(i'll rewrite 棉花糖的小男孩 again..did not do a good job last night because i was very drowsy)

11:32 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Bad Day

today is supposed to be a good day, but it didnt turn out good at all..

First day of the AVA Training camp.. super pissed off by the attitude of Shiu Kit and the 0629 gang guys.. totally dont bother.. i was giving a briefing and Wai Kit and Gan Ther were talking away about some bloody game.. even when others are doing the introduction game they were still playing.. cant wait to take a stick and give them a good whacking..

didnt sleep well last night.. slept at about 2.. was worried about the twine problem, so i specially woke up at 5.30 to catch the 1st bus to Beach Road to check if they opened early.. turns out that they will only be open at about 9.. wasted trip..

'you must act normal. even if you cant still must do.' i tried my best, but talking and laughing with a person as though nothing is wrong, forcing yourself to believe that everything is right， when deep down you know that the person is angry with you.. such pretense almost drove me crazy today.. we sat there looking at yr 1s play the game and chatting about their teamwork, laughing when they made a blunder, yet the night before she told me directly that she's still angry with me.. by lunchtime i was mentally exhausted from trying to convince myself that everything's back to normal, though i knew it hasnt.. if i hadnt continuously try to calm my emotions by frequently listening to the song 萤火虫 to surpress my feelings i would have went berserk.. still, it left me with a splitting headache and a (people keep telling me) changed personality even to when i watched the Chinese Drama at National Library.. too chim for me even at my best state of mind, and i am way below that at that point of time..

now i remembered where the song 萤火虫 had its roots in my childhood.. my guardian's daughter had a jewelery box that played 萤火虫 everytime i opened it.. so my guardian always sing that song to me whenever i am sad or scared.. the other song she sang to me was 小白船 everynight before i sleep.. sadly she passed away due to cancer when i was in Secondary 2.. the first (and i hoped was the last) funeral i went to..

人生就是一场悲剧，但如果能在这悲剧里找到一丝快乐，我愿意演完这部戏.. 可悲的是，在前七天里可算快乐的时光实在是寥寥无几.. 再往前看，也没什么好期待的.. 我所看到的只是更多心灵上的悲伤，朋友的离别，功课上的压力，考试的折磨.. 快乐到底跑到哪儿了？无论我多么努力的去找，我还是无法在模糊的将来看到它的踪影.. 在这丝毫没希望的情况之下，我该怎么办呢？

10:53 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

LAN+Pool+Sakae+Bowling

wow.. fun day, although at the wrong time, but fun nonetheless..

first up.. i met Shawn at 10 to study.. did a little before going to Burger King to have Lunch.. spent $11 there, one Whooper Meal Upsized + Mushroom Swiss Double burger.. very filling..

then at about 1 plus we went play LAN at Astroids.. been long since i went there.. anyway only played an hr plus, $1.70.. until Nigel came, because he didnt want to play.. sadly Melissa couldnt come because of CCA.. so we went over to play pool at the usual Katong shop..

can see Shawn blasting the cue ball across the table, and Nigel sitting in the background.. spent about $2.40..

went Sakae Sushi for dinner.. or rather buffet dinner.. we went in at about 5.15PM, when the all-you-can-eat buffet ends at 6.00PM.. kinda not worth, but we managed to eat until we all cannot take it by 6.. whew.. really bloated.. $22.00..

then nothing to do, we went to some cafe called Master Coffee Cafe at Katong Mall.. i drank one Mega Mocha Blended.. $4.50.. quite ok lah.. nothing fantastic..

Nigel.. taking his own picture..

so we chatted there till about 8.00pm before the cafe closed shop.. then we wandered the Katong Road looking for things to do..

ended up at the Bowling Alley at Katong Shopping Complex.. bowled one game.. $3.50.. think i did quite well.. 121, above my usual average but still not my top score.. Shawn got a 96 and Nigel got a 76..

so total spendings today.. $45.10.. wow!! that's like almost half of my monthly allowance.. hahaa.. i really overspent this holiday..

11:17 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

End of the World?

6/6/06.. some say the world will end today.. yah right.. the evil 666 right? if that's the dooms day date the world would have ended 2 times previously (6/6/0006, 6/6/1006).. dumb assumption..

had a stupid dream last night.. forgotten some parts, but most of it is wierd..starting i was representing a organisation and graduated from some course, one which out of countless peoples only 4 get to complete it, and i was onstage recieving a certificate or something.. while standing on the stage everything fell away and the stage had stairs extending up from the back and down from the front.. the rest are skies.. some guy took out a sword and start killing the rest.. i drew 2 swords (no idea where they came from, but why not lightsabers?) and tried to defend myself.. but i did not work well with swords, as i had a tendency to use my arm to block.. so i got 2 slash on the wrist.. no blood, but the sword didnt cut through.. so i held the sword in the wound with my other hand and pushed him off the edge.. after that its about some fat lady dancing to a wierd song and eating gummy bears.. silly dream..

finally found a song from the days of my childhood..萤火虫.. all thanks to Shawn.. hahahaaaa.. soooooo happy that i can forget every trouble whenever i listen to the song, and everything in the world feels so right.. not sure why.. i know it has roots in the childhood i forgotten.. maybe someone used to sing it to me?

9:41 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, June 05, 2006

Random Thoughts

when the present beomes too much to bear, i choose to indulge myself in the past.. i spent the whole of last night looking through my archives.. photo books, items, drawing books, baby journals.. these are things that help me remember the past that is slowly fading from my mind.. part of the items include a tissue my primary school friend gave me when i cried, birthday cards i got on my actual birthday (28/9/1988), dengue fever blood test reports, recipts of impt items bought etc.. i find that looking in the past is a good distraction from the present, an alternative to looking at my Gundams..

went to school to pass Yiwen something, but she didnt turn up.. my fault actually, cos my stupid message centre didnt send me the message that she is not going.. anyway, did some stocktaking of the electric room and the storeroom while waiting, so i did not waste the time..

stocktaking today is considered the more horrible of the lot.. the first step into the electric room and i get a faceful of spider webs.. you can literally see webs draping from walls to tables to benches.. except no spiders.. so while digging through the area looking for lost equipments i cleared the webs.. whew..

Storeroom is better, and worse.. at least i didnt get another faceful of webs when i walk into the room, but at the back of the room there were spiders the size of my palm (not counting the fingers).. had to smash one to get to my equipments..

made a special trip down to Beach Road army market to look for twine.. had a mild headache so i forgot to tap my card when i got on the bus.. the driver personally escorted me to tap my card before the bus left the bus stop.. how stupid can i get? forgetting to tap the card.. but luckily i found what i want at the first shop i looked.. coincidentally i sat the same bus home (133 is a loop service).. the bus driver was very surprised when he saw me.. think he was staring at me when i tapped my card.. haix..

5:25 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Back to Normal?

family came back while i was sleeping.. gave up at around 3 plus to wait for them, too tired.. but they bought quite a few souvenirs for me..

1. 6 XBOX games

2. a sunglass

3. charm rock

4. push pop lollipop (i had one on the trip to Australia 7 years ago.. they purposely look for it there, as it is extinct in Singapore..)

5. badtastebear (some wierd figurine.. some of it is sadistic and disgusting, but others like the ones my parents bought is interesting.. one of them is a bear stuck in a oven..)

there are some more, but i cant think of any at the moment..

i realised that i've been different in that one week.. i finally experienced what it feels like to be the only child, going home with no one of similar age to talk to, doing most things alone.. maybe i'm not used to it, but i really do not like that feeling..just hope that everything will return to normal..

8:02 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Normal?

quite a quiet last-day-of-me-alone-in-the-house day.. quiet as in i didnt go blow up some shopping centre or rob a bank.. i am pretty suprised that i didnt go 24hr LAN shop and pia game through the night, considering my family's flight Arrival Time from Australia is at 5.45AM tomorrow.. maybe its because i am needed back home..

so the things i did today, not including the cockroach i smashed early in the morning, are basically just going to school, studying and sleeping, stocktaking, watching Singapore Idol live at Juntion 8, buy a SD Gundam and going with Shawn to buy Melissa's present.. nothing much..

finished LT4's stocktaking.. i must say it has lesser items than the hall, but the replacement mixer has a disgustingly large amount of spare cables draping all over the place.. tangling with those cables i have to account for..

saw part of the female finalist team (some were not there) of the Singapore Idol season 2 at Juction 8 today.. so while looking around for Melissa's present i saw the SD Destiny Gundam.. couldnt resist the low pricing plus the discount.. got it at $16.10.. finished it by now.. lining and all.. too lazy to use a proper digital camera, having the need to resize the picture and all that.. so still using the lousy-quality-in-not-so-bright-area phone camera..

i like the open palm of the Destiny Gundam.. looks as though its doing a Force Push.. makes me wonder whether the Palm Cannon can really fire beams or is just only a close range weapon.. (notice i am blogging on the screen behind)

posability is limited due to the large head it has.. but still i like the design (not that i like the actual Destiny Gundam.. it's a horrible Gundam)..

with no more excuses to delay myself, i forsee a tedious studying period in the next two weeks or so.. no more Gundams to absorb myself in.. no outings (except nxt wednesday).. just tons of studying..

since my family is coming back in another 7 hours or so, i hope that their return means everything would go back to the way it was before they left for Australia, normal and me being happy about everything the way it is.. though i know my personal live and such happenings are independent events which do not affect each other..

one can still hope.. there's always hope.. though i can say that if the situation does not get better by next week i will be hoping against the hopeless because its the only hope i got left..

10:20 PM

`` stoningg

Cockroach

a stupid cockroach just tried to assasinate me.. it stupidly crawled over my feet.. so i got a roll of newspaper and made sure its flattened and splattered before i cleaned it off the ground.. sadistic me.. guess i am too mentally stressed..

12:50 AM

`` stoningg

Friday, June 02, 2006

No Hope is better than False Hope

finally, i got something useful out of the holiday lectures.. with some difficulty i managed to concentrate for 2 out of the 3 lectures, and learnt a little on Normal Distribution and Radioactivity.. whew.. at least me sacrificing my Australia trip has not been in vain..

i have also missed 2 of my GP tuition class's lessons.. kinda missed it after one week, especially since the lessons are on Science and Technology content.. superbly interesting..

things have not been going well.. but i have decided not to do anything about it, just let it cool a little and let it 顺其自然.. live and let live..

when you are just about to give up, and someone gives you hope, it can be one of the best things you can ever imagine.. but if the hope turns out to be false, it'll only exacerbate the situation and cause you more suffering.. better that there was no hope in the beginning to start with..

saw this sunrise when i left for school in the morning.. looks unique in the sense that the clouds are partially pink and the lines seperating the blue and the pink clouds are very distinct.. not a usual pink-freak but i think the clouds are very nice.. just really hope these nice things dont go away, yet the nicer the things are, the faster they fade...

10:43 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Sword Strike vs Red Frame

finally finished the Gundam Astray Red Frame.. did the beam rifle and the shield today.. found that they do not go well with the Katana, so i kept them in the box..

i just like posing melee combat Gundams together..

Sword Strike Gundam vs Gundam Astray Red Frame.. i find it extremely nice..

did the stocktaking of the Hall control room today (finally!!).. realised that there are a whole bunch of items in the hall which is seldom used.. whew.. but think LT4 would be even worse because of the tangle of wires and the missing mixer..

went to one of the IT Resource Room to try out the Smart Board.. its a very high tech whiteboard which the computer screen will be projected on it.. i can control the computer using my finger.. draw type and click with a touch.. i can even make remarks on the screen, as i would with a marker on the whiteboard.. very useful if not for one glitch.. when touching the board the projector is coming from behind, so i would block the picture.. hmmm..

10:15 PM

`` stoningg

My Own World

even after 17+ years, i am still living in a world of my own.. surrounded by my toys, model planes and theories.. i cant handle people.. i cannot see clearly people's intentions and emotions.. i cannot even tell accurately if someone is really okay or just putting up a brave front.. so whenever i mingle with others, i normally screw everything up.. conflicting personalities.. i want to be in a crowd yet i dont get along well with others..

thought about all these when i am on the bus home (why is everything always happening on the bus home?).. turns out that everything is not alright.. i still sense animosity between us, with whatever meagre senses i have.. i am tired of it all.. real tired of a war in snow and ice..

realised that due to me ponning last week's GP tuition, i cant watch Bao Lian Deng's final episode tomorrow because i have to go for make up tuition.. stupid me..

its thursday today (duh!!) .. my family is coming back on Sunday.. time really flies when you are too busy looking elsewhere.. i say this because the week has been very bad, yet time still flies.. however i feel that things are going to get worse before they start to improve..

nuff said..

6:50 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Gundam Astray Red Frame

cheong the whole half of afternoon and the night to finish both its legs.. whew.. at least now it can do some decent posing instead of playing the balancing game..

the cooooool Astray Red Frame with its Gerbera Straight Katana.. very beautiful and sleek weapon..

compare with the original..

not a good pic.. cant choose the phone's camera to focus on close objects.. dammit..

10:56 PM

`` stoningg

Random Thoughts

(this post contains topics some consider sensitive. pls dont feel offended as i write what i think)

not sure whether today's a good day or not.. many things have happened..

first, i went early to play squash with Peifen, Shawn and Justin.. glad to say that my squash skills didnt drop that much.. because i didnt have much to begin with.. still i got thrashed by Shawn 9-1, 9-2, 9-0.. must have been revenge for thrashing him in Revenge of the Sith yesterday.. name speaks for all..

anyway, at least Yiwen's not ignoring me again.. i hate myself everytime she does that, all because i never stop myself from making fun of her and stepped over the line..

today on the ride home i had plenty of time to think about things.. i've decided that being a friend is good enough for me.. things are good as it is now.. dont wish to spoil it.. though since Sec 1 i have been hoping to meet her on the bus every morning, now everything's gonna change.. guess being sad isnt going to change anything.. i'll just have to get use to it.. being a (not sure whether appropriate) guardian angel doesnt seem a bad option..

on a lighter note.. my Gundam Astray Red Frame finally has ONE leg.. it is finally able to stand.. and i absolutely love the Gerbera Straight Katana.. its the best Gundam weapon i had so far.. totally beautiful in every single pose.. and now people may think that i am a psycho in love with little plastic humanoid toys.. a little too lazy to follow-up with the construction process..

6:07 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Theories to the W, A & S story

Words Theory

W, A & S must always exist with A in the middle, because no matter how they are arranged they do not mean anything except when A is in the middle. So, without the A, W and S cannot work out.

Chemistry Theory

W = Potassium Permaganate
A = Sulphuric Acid
S = Iron

For both W and S to react, a catalyst A must be present. Without A, the reaction will not be possible. Though reaction between A and S is possible, reaction between W and S is not feasible.

both ideas are contributed by Shawn, who has nothing better to do while we ate our dinners in KFC.

8:52 PM

`` stoningg

Home

sounds wierd? why would i bother to write about my own home, when i see it everyday..

i had 4 visitors today.. Peifen Connie Jie Yan n Shawn.. they juz came to my house cos Jie Yan suggested it.. nothing fantastic, just that they had a little trouble figuring out where my storeroom is.. its quite well hidden.. Jie Yan and Shawn looked at my dad's wine collection and Gundams.. then we went to play XBOX.. Revenge of the Sith is interesting as we watch Jie Yan kill Super Battle Droids while Connie was telling us how cruel we are to slaughter droids with florescent tubes.. Project Gotham Racing (yah i know its outdated) was entertaining due to fact that some drivers are more er, 'reckless' than others..

so afters we went to KFC for dinner.. without Jie Yan cos he had to go home.. and Shawn edited one of my older photos before 'somebody' took it for a photo spree..

Shawn being the 'old sage in the mountains' while listening to lecture

that 'somebody's' wallet

luckily there's no Fillet-o-Fish for her to order..

ok that's about all.. i really must start on my AVA proposals..

8:24 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, May 29, 2006

X-men 3

know that i should not be watching movie while my AVA camp games proposal is still not finalized.. but i just cant resist the lure of watching the final movie of the X-men series.. digressing abit, speaking of AVA, i offended Yiwen again.. and sadly she's not speaking to me now.. i think offending her may have become a habit of mine.. a very very bad habit of mine.. must change..

ok back to the movie.. the plot is total crap.. nothing much except Jean Grey being alive killing as she please.. she's not even powerful to the extent that anyone she wants dead dies.. she just don't know how to control her psychic powers, disintergrating everything around her and regretting it afters.. let me see, she killed Cyclops, Professor X, many many soldiers and tried to kill Wolverine.. Angel only made a few minute appearance.. he did nothing except fly.. Shadowcat's cool, being able to fool Jugganaut into knocking himself out.. other than these nothing much else worth mentioning, other than Magneto blasting his way through the show.. reminds me of Gandalf..

enough blabberings.. proposals are waiting..

10:22 PM

`` stoningg

Random Thoughts

ok first day of holiday lecture is a total waste of time.. i didnt even learnt anything.. not that the teacher is not teaching.. juz that the mood is not there.. wondering why i did not go Australia now..

was doing some thinking when i was sleeping during Chemistry Lecture.. Mr Foo is a horrible lecturer.. keep repeating points as though he was talking to a hall filled with retards.. anyway, i came up with a conclusion on why i have been so past-obsessed lately.. it all started when i went back to Yishun, a place i had not been to for almost 12 years.. to the extent that it had almost become a smudge on my memory.. going back to see my old home and my Kindergarten School brought back memories, a crack in a dam.. so once the dam cracked its kinda hard to hold back the rest.. and suddenly i remembered so many things i thought i forgot.. and that's what's slowing me down lately, because all i thought about was what happened before and neglect what happened now..

assuming that all lectures today are similar, i ponned the last Physics lecture.. was on the way home from school when i thought about people's personalities.. knowing the theory that everything has its inverse, happy/sad, good/bad, and all that.. i thought that perhaps everyone of us has a good and bad personality.. juz that whether we supressed it or choose to hide it.. but would that make everyone schizophrenic?

2:46 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Many Thoughts

ok haven blogged for 3 days.. been kinda busy and neither here nor there this few days.. holidays' here.. gotta pia for mid-years..

friday

Chemistry SPA was kinda ok.. i wrote more and faster than normal.. so think should do quite ok.. the School Graduation Certificate writing workshop after school is a waste of time.. think if they gave us the whole template we could do it ourselves no problem.. after that went Shawn's house prepare some drinks before going Jie Yan's house, and to pick up his Darth Maul Unleashed present.. so since i was there i took a drink, and for who knows what reason i feel very drowsy and started sprouting nonsense.. think Chew Hwee and Yi Yuan got kinda confused with the things i was uttering.. yah so after i blabbered finish, and Yi Yuan stopped chopping the watermelons and i finished squashing them, we packed loads of Ribena for Yiwen and went to Jie Yan's house, which i have to say is very nice.. i always wanted a parquet room floor.. feels kinda better than tiled.. anyway his collection of Gundams, though not as many as mine, but still very impressive nonetheless.. the Gundam Lepoard is so packed with weapons.. so while i drooled in his room looking at Gundams, others (Jie Yan, Shawn, Justin, Yiwen, Peifen, Beien, Connie, Shu Yu, Amanda, Chew Hwee and Ming Jue) were out in the living room eating pizzas and drinking the watermelon i squashed previously.. sadly most people went home, leaving Jie Yan(duh.. his house) Shawn and me.. tried to ton the night but i gave up first by 4..

Saturday

was too tired by the time i returned home.. so after my chores, i decided to give GP tuition a miss.. so when i was stoning in front of the computer Peifen asked the usual crowd to go out for a walk.. ended up at Bugis with Jie Yan, Peifen and Xi Ying.. walked awhile before i had to leave for my grandma's house.. on the way saw some little children playing with a digital camera.. then i remembered how i bought my first camera that ran on film.. $30.. every shot was precious.. not like the digital one where you can delete unwanted picture.. the camera died on me in Australia 7 years ago.. somewhere in a place filled with ice sculptures..

anyway i stayed at my grandma's house.. was a long time since i did that.. brought back memories where my cousins and i would build whole cities using lego blocks.. complete with bus stops, shopping malls and traffic lights.. we also played police and erm... kidnappers? we use to hold this type of guns to go after someone who captured a person.. yah and try to save him or something.. that was a long time ago..

Sunday

i woke up at 9.30 this morning.. been long since i slept that long.. maybe its because i didnt sleep much at Jie Yan's house.. 8 plus PM to 9.30 AM.. about 12 hrs.. woke up with a big headache.. still throbbing now.. nothing much happened except my grandma came over to my house to stay.. hope she will be fine.. its been 2 days since i last slept on my bed.. kinda miss it..

9:21 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Story of W, A & S

There was a once upon a time, not too long ago, in a school called Merlion Tertiary School where 3 students, W(guy), A(guy) and S(girl), attend school. They were in the same class, pon the same lectures and play cards in the canteen. They were considered good friends, and did most things together.

One day, W realised that he liked S very much. He did all he could to make her happy, only to realise that S liked A. However, A does not like S, and tried to tell her to consider W. So they carried on this confusing relationship for a few weeks, with A contradicting himself everytime he advise S to consider W. One day, A have to leave the School for another, leaving W and S.

S became the English Drama Club (EDC) President. W joined EDC just for her, yet she does not notice him, even to the extent of bullying him. Despite W's undivided attention, S still does not care about him. She even got herself a boyfriend from school, whether to spite him or some other reasons he doesn't know. All he can do is just watch from the sides and sees that S remains happy regardless of who she chose...

(here ends the story of W, A & S)

to be continued ...

9:00 PM

`` stoningg

Random Thoughts

first and foremost.. sorry Peifen i cant do the quiz cos i cant write chinese words on my laptop.. also i got a little phobia towards chinese.. hope u understand

ok today's a long day.. so supposed to be boring.. but some queer things happened somewhere in between..

my left contact lens fell out during the end of the second lecture.. at first i thought it was folded into my eyelid again (happened during the dragonboat fun race).. so i spent 10 plus minutes 'digging' my eyes with the help of Justin looking out for the missing contacts(sounds disgusting?).. until my eyes were all red.. wanted to take early leave form and go see optician.. so went down to General Office.. but decided to go look in LT4 before taking the form.. and guess what? i found it lying on the ground beneath my seat.. a little dried up.. suddenly felt very stupid cos all the 'digging' is for nothing..

my grandma's (maternal) medical report came in today.. not too good.. her blood vessel(s) in her heart is confirmed blocked.. though i do not exactly know how severe it is, but i think its not good.. she did a by-pass surgery a few years back.. dont think she's strong enough to do another one.. just hoping that her medicine would do the job and clear the blockage..

today while stonning in lecture, i did some reflection.. no idea how to write it here.. but at least i can say i know much more about myself and the things i see in others..

ok.. tomorrow Chemistry Practical SPA Skill A.. hope i dont screw up like last week's Physics SPA..

8:13 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

AVA Ex-Co Wannabe Interview

boring school day, as expected of every wednesday.. only surprise is that Mr Loke is absent from tutorial.. so a Mrs Leong came in and blasted through the Binomial Distribution Tutorial in one lesson.. and i kinda like having combined lessons with 06S9C i think.. big class to me is more relaxing..

ok after school i am supposed to have a AVA meeting for the interview at 2.30pm.. but the school volunteered me for some HPB's survey.. which i must say is kinda stupid.. asked silly questions like 'how many minutes do you walk in a day?'.. and i was like "how do i know? i dont go round counting".. so, all i put down was '100?'.. emphasize on the question mark..

as for the interview, i am a little disappointed about the 4 of the 6 new members plus one old member.. the four do not exactly give a damn about the whole choosing of committee thing, and one of them still wanted to run for president when he gets stressed up over some little questions we asked him and does not even get together well with the veteran members.. maybe i am abit biased, but for now i really dont see the possibility of any one of the four of them getting a post in AVA.. and Shao Jie.. he doesnt even stay for the interview.. came late and left early.. asked of his intended post he just said member.. all the while when we were giving briefing he was blabbering away with year 2s.. given a choice i would just kick him out of AVA.. no point keeping a downright slacker in the club when we got more members than we actually need.. if his attitude doesnt improve by the time AVA Training Camp comes.. he's gonna get hell from me..

9:11 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Over the Hedge = Over-Funny

dont be mistaken.. Over the Hedge is extremely entertaining.. i think i am suffering from withdrawal effects.. it has been so long since i had such a good laugh.. last being Kung Fu Hustle.. but i have to admit this is much better.. dont wanna spoil the movie, so i wont write anything about it here..

before the show, we (Shawn, Yiyian, Chew Hwee and i) went Far East to shop.. must say that there's an interesting place.. saw someone who is trying to impersonate Shi Hao.. scolding the f*** word at two ladies and threatening to call the police.. not something you'll get to see everyday.. and we met Yuxi and Melissa.. also not something i get to see everyday.. oh and Melissa thinks one of the two girls is Shawn's girlfriend.. not sure which..

was on the way home in NEL when a short guy boarded the train in Little India.. he's a queer looking guy.. 40+ and wearing those 'holey' singlet.. tattoos all over.. he's standing right beside me.. so with nothing to do, and the show's laughing effect still not over, i occupied myself with trying to discern the smell coming from him.. conclusion : cigarette + sweat + raw fish .. not a pleasant smell but a smell nevertheless.. i even caught sight of a fish scale on his neck right before i alight..

ok something else to lighten up my day.. or rather what's left of my day.. my parents FINALLY let me go stay over at Jie Yan's house.. yup.. but i still have to leave early in the morning to be able to make it for Mr Tong's tuition.. nvm.. dont wanna bite off more than i can chew.. but still, mood's not up cos of withdrawal symptom of Over the Hedge and something else.. makes me feel very hopeless.. is like those situations where i want something to happen but just dont know whether i got the power to make it happen.. to see something being snatched away yet dont know what to do to stop it.. the good and bad warring in my head.. trying to decide whether i should be feeling happy or sad..

think that's about all.. hope Mr Loke doesnt kill me tomorrow if i do not finish his Binomial (Probability) Tutorial tomorrow..

10:37 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, May 22, 2006

Horrible Holiday

i dont really think this week's gonna be good.. not even the next week.. even though my family is going to Australia for a full week's holiday, leaving me home alone.. i am supposed to be happy.. but for some reason its just getting worse..

firstly, juz because the departure date so happens to fall on Jie Yan's bdae, i am not allowed to even stay past 8pm at his house.. cos i need to be home by 9 before they leave.. suggesting a better alternative that i'll go later just in case of any last minute instructions, my dad just scold me for putting my friend before family and yak on about how i am not suppose to leave the maid alone at home.. when i tried to think of better alternative he just scold me for being very very irresponsible.. so its becomes my fault that my dad dont trust the maid.. my fault that their departure date is the same day as Jie Yan's birthday.. AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

secondly.. i know this is not her fault, but my grandma (maternal side) is having some heart problems now.. her medical report says that there's some heart blockage.. so during my parents' leave of absence the responsibility of taking care of my grandmother falls on me.. meaning everyday after lectures i must go straight home just in case.. not that i am blaming her, i am very worried about her condition as she did a heart bypass operation before.. she's the one who took care of me since young, every holiday we would go her house for sleep overs.. but i cant stay in school and study or go out with friends.. this is gonna be such a boring holiday..

10:09 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Yishun/ Da Vinci Code

got many things to write about.. so i'll need to split into different parts..

The Da Vinci Code

went to watch the movie with Justin Peifen Connie and Beien after college day, of which the latter btw is a total waste of time.. prize giving during the college day is biased as some of the niche CCAs like Dragonboat and Basketball get little or no awards while CCAs like Judo get more than 10.. not that i am against Judo or anything, but i just think it is biased..

back to Da Vinci.. its a very nice and 'chim' movie.. it is amazing on how Dan Brown relate all these little facts into one big story.. as for whether its true or not is still disputed by the christian community and the author himself, so i am not commenting on the reliability of the story.. totally worth my $9.50 for watching it on Saturday.. though some of the arguments made in the Teabing's Mansion regarding the Last Supper seems kinda forced, as though the author made the conclusion first and try to squeeze out the facts from anything.. but the plot on betrayal and backstabbing is well developed and unexpected..

and since we were at Yishun Northpoint (they closed the Toys R Us.. =() to watch the movie, and that we had another 45 mins, so i went back to my old house.. no idea why i did that, just that i suddenly had an urge to see them all over again.. calling of home.. Yishun has become just a wane smudge in my memory ever since i left there 12 years ago and never return.. so i ran all the way from Northpoint to Blk 614.. quite a distance but managable.. managed to take some pictures, but since my phone was not designed for nighttime shots it didnt turn out well..

my beloved Kindergarten, where i rmb some girl pulling out a clump of my hair and me being the class bully..

it didnt change much.. not that i remember anyway..

this is my old house.. the one where i lived in for 6 years.. Blk 614 Yishun Ring Road #11-164

the picture quality is very bad as there's only one light.. but its much 'grassier' than i remembered.. the new owner must have like green.. though standing there brings back many memories.. the small cardboard house my dad built me.. complete with decorations, internal light and fan plus a small mattress for me to sleep on.. rmb how i use to invite frens into it to play.. can comfortably sit 4 children.. plus a toy jeep which runs on fuel cells that i can drive by just pressing the accelerator (my old house is big enough.. 2 living rooms a blacony a storeroom plus 2 bedrooms one study room and a kitchen).. my swing in the balcony which my dad made from a car tyre.. a hanging toy parrot in the balcony that repeats everything i said.. think the only surviving artefact from Yishun which is still in constant use is my blanket i had since i was a baby.. haix.. like i once said.. we (teenagers/children) do not choose where we live.. kept wondering if i had not moved to Bendemeer how different my life will be..

now that i mentioned moving of house.. Peifen's moving to Sengkang soon.. will miss those times when we take the same bus to school and same bus home.. we really do not choose where we live..

just realised how horrible i was at Probability.. when Peifen asked me to help her today, i ended up getting confused at the same time.. think i need to start studying..

today dad pulled me down to help out at the Residents Get Together Event.. juz some old folks singing Karaoke horribly and one magician swallowing a balloon.. luckily it rained cos the AVA ppl had to keep the equipments and stop the programme before 12.. whew.. its downright torturous listening to them singing.. especially when they sing off-key..

that's all for now.. this entry has been v long.. dont think i wanna continue, though there's still alot on my mind..

8:22 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, May 19, 2006

Physics SPA

today's kinda mixed.. half good half bad..

woke up late in the morning.. rmb going morning jog so i rushed through everything in 10 mins.. brush teeth, bathe, eat breakfast, wear contacts, pack bag.. ended up, no one wanna run.. plus dad blabbering on how lucky i am while i was eating.. having a stable lifestyle.. and once again reminding me that i was almost aborted.. asking me to understand that what they considered in the past was forced by circumstance.. i understand how some people are forced by circumstance.. so i dont blame anyone.. oh well..

Physics SPA later in the day is a total disaster.. stupid graph took me so long to draw.. 20 mins.. keep using the wrong axis.. so i didnt finish the last part of the paper.. suppose to write 5 errors of which 4 are marked.. i only wrote 3.. screwed..

but on a lighter note.. i FINALLY finished my Gundam MK-II.. took me almost a whole week.. 119 hours since i started on it.. abit too long.. but its one of my favourite..

List of Favourite Gundams that i have in order of merit:

1. MG Wing Zero Custom ($79.95)

2. MG Freedom Gundam ($63.95)

3. MG Gundam MK-II ($81.95)

4. PG Skygrasper + Aile Striker Pack ($109.00)

5. MG Aile Strike Gundam ($75.00)

6. Gundam Astray Blue Frame 2nd L ($52.95)

7. Gundam Deathscythe Hell ($32.00)

8. Sword Strike Gundam ($47.00)

9. Tallgeese III ($49.00)

10. Zeta Gundam ($105.00)

last picture of Zeta Gundam before i permanently transform it into its waverider mode.. some stupid design glitch makes it too flimsy to stay in its Mobile suit mode..

that's all for today (i think).. everytime i do my Gundam i forgot what i wanted to write..

4:33 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Freaking Hot Day

today's weather is very bad.. not the usual equatorial-country hot weather, but is one of those days when i almost thought i was living in the Sahara Desert.. even the night is steaming.. worse was my mom asked me to try on a winter jacket for my dad whose not at home.. think i almost got heat stroke..

anyway.. stupid Sport's Day heats today.. made Justin have to take his Fitness Test in August because he cant take next week (i think).. which goes to show how screwed up the Education System is.. Fitness Test still have seasons to take the test.. now he has to wait..

FINALLY!!! i finished most of the Gundam MK-II to at least allow it to pose nicely.. meaning at least it now looks like a Gundam and not some robot with missing arms and legs..

so while waiting for my sis to stop hogging the computer, i took some fun poses of the Gundam..

some kneeling poses with the beam rifle.. i couldnt finish the Bazooka and the shield on time.. too many details to draw.. n i still have not study for Physics SPA tomorrow.. dun wanna think of such stressful things when i am enjoying..

some of the wierder poses..

unsupported high kick.. its much better than i thought.. i am absolutely impressed by the flexibility of the Gundam..considering that its ball-and-socket joint at the hip is able to take the weight of the leg, exo/endo-skeleton and all..

Gundam doing push-ups.. one of the 2 in my 9 1/100 Gundam collection which is able to do this.. cos the others cant turn their palm 90 degrees to the arm..

that's all for now.. hope i dont get screwed by the SPA too badly..

11:23 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

NYJC Volleyball Girls Finals

went for the Volleyball Girls Finals.. was a exciting match, with both schools' performance being on par.. so the match was still quite even on the last set.. but sadly we lost by a little..

nxt is TJC vs AJC match.. i must say that the AJC team is very strong.. especially with 3 very tall person who can reach over the net without even jumping.. still, TJC played a very nice match, losing the title by only a few points in the last set.. why must all the finals be like that?

Gundam MK-II.. finally finished the armor for my gundam.. sadly too tired to carry on with the arms..

notice that the armor doesnt restrict the flexibility of the leg..

as compared with previous picture of the same pose..

so here's the Gundam kneeling.. presently out of the 9 1/100 scale Gundams i have only 5 can do this stunt, though not as well as this..

tiring day.. Physics SPA coming up on friday.. gotta start studying..

9:48 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Untitled

nothing much happened in school today.. together with Justin helped paced Peifen in her 2.4 km run.. got back Chem Lecture Test.. 7/30.. above expectation considering i was expecting less than 5 because i gave up studying for the test.. watched Kung Fu Hustle in library until kena chased out by teacher..

Gundam MK-II modelling.. i finally finished the other leg.. after 2 1/2 hr of hard work.. though still no exo-skeleton, but at least it can still stand.. though with no hands it still looks wierd..

and for some of the posing-for-fun pictures..

doing a high kick.. very flexible.. if that's not enough, look below..

doing a front split.. very very flexible.. wow!!! though due to some design glitches it cant do side splits.. if not i would have made it do a vertical slamming kick..

that's all for now.. hope NYJC Volleyball team wins the finals tomorrow at Toa Payoh Sports Hall.. same venue where CCHMS thrashed not-sure-which school in basketball..

10:00 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, May 15, 2006

Tiling Day

maths test was ok.. not too good.. but not too bad.. enough said..

did tiles for AVA today.. we 'bought' 12 tiles to form a 4x3 picture but have no idea where it's gonna be up..

our very own masterpiece mostly contributed by Yiwen, who does all the writing and most of the drawing (i do colouring).. so if anything wrong with the drawing on the tiles.. well everyone should know who to look for..

carried on with my construction of the Gundam MK-II.. did from 8 to 10.30.. just managed to finish the hip and the endo-skeleton of the right leg..

very flexible.. plenty of gimmick.. only thing i wanna complain is that the supposed endo-skeleton of the whole Gundam is made up of purplish plastic instead of the usual dark gray.. but the gimmicks included sort of made up for it.. gimmicks such as this..

'hydraulics' system for the ankles..

so here's my Gundam's present state..

no choice but to stand on one leg.. no time to finish the other without going to school tomorrow looking like a panda..

that's all for now..

10:37 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Gundam MK-II

bought this today.. $81.95..

know that i gonna have maths test tomorrow.. but i just cant resist..

built this first.. the stand for the Gundam.. its right that this is the first thing i build.. so i could literally build the Gundam itself..

after 3 hours of work..

kinda cool to have this small floating people around your half-constructed Gundam.. makes it look like its build in a space station or something.. sadly i do not intend to paint it.. so it'll remain as white plastics.. and i ran out of the big black Gundam marker.. maybe gonna get it after school tomorrow..

9:21 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Random Thoughts

Some interesting description about:

Gundams = 'Fictional wars from a Japanese cartoon that involves battles between huge anthropomorphic robots resembling samurai wearing different colors of car fenders.'

Star Wars = 'fictional war where a farmer, ghosts, a green midget and an angry space bear try to save the galaxy from evil dorks in plastic white armor.'

celebrated Mother's Day with the maternal side of the family.. suprised how fast my cousin's daughter had grown.. now she knows how to squeal and do all sorts of funny things just to gain attention.. think she's a little pampered cos she's the 1st of the next generation.. aunt and grandma just dotes on her.. however, she's still kinda invisible to me.. i keep knocking into her when she's scavenging in the kitchen.. think up to my waist only..

now looking at my cousin starting a family, i realised how difficult it was.. everything so unstable, so unpredictable.. that time when my parents started out it was more or less the same, or worse.. they were quite poor.. to the extent that i was almost aborted.. i dont blame them.. the situation would have required such actions if they had not persevered on.. but still i was shocked that i almost didnt have a life when i knew of this last year..

had migraine throughout the day.. think its because of dehydration.. i dont wish holidays would come soon.. cos i'll stone till mould starts growing..

10:00 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, May 12, 2006

Untitled

short day.. short post.. short memory.. cant rmb what exactly happened in the morning.. nth much anyway..

10:02 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, May 11, 2006

I'm BACK!!!!!

Muahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahah

hhahahahahahahahha...*cough*cough*

not enough breathe.. but still i'm back.. hahahaa..*cough*..

one week without internet is horrible.. inbox jammed.. homework piled up.. lecture notes not printed.. tests failed.. muscle cramp.. boredom.. depression.. detention.. insomia.. stress.. torture.. not sure whether all stated above is entirely caused by loss of internet.. but still that's a rough summary of what happened in the past week.. too much to cramp in this little brain of mine.. quite forgotten most of what happened..

lemme see.. saturday er.. forgot le.. didnt go grandma house but not sure where i went..

Sunday go watch TJC Drama Performance.. sad to say their AVA is not that good.. background music much louder than the actor's voices.. but the scripts' interesting and engaging.. and the backdrop plus props are absolutely fantastic..

Monday.. dont think anything big happened..

Tuesday.. had morning run with Justin and Peifen.. Fire Drill alarm sounded during lecture.. lecturer wanted to finish last example before letting us off to go queue up for firedrill..

Wednesday.. same morning run as day before.. principal said something bout changing uniform.. kinda dumb..

Thursday.. forgot what happened..

now some random thoughts..

poor Shawn is now suffering from the torture i had in secondary school.. teeth braces.. first time.. usually the ache last quite long.. yah so think he's suffering lots now.. people who dont put braces really have no idea of the torture..

Prom Night aka NYJC Dinner and Dance.. $110 for buffet dinner.. absolutely not worth the price.. so i am absolutely not going unless Student Council can properly explain the cost which totals it up to $110..

just realised that for the past few weeks i had a run in with an old friend of mine.. hadnt seen him/it since Primary 5.. it was, emphasize on the word WAS, part of my personality to be the speaking-without-going-through-my-head, argue-for-the-sake-of-arguing and the i-am-smarter-than-everyone person.. the one that sits right next to the teacher's table because he's too noisy.. to think that 5 years before that i was the school bully in kindergarten.. where my parents need to meet the teachers almost every week to make sure i am not bullying the other students.. that WAS me..

sad to say.. the past caught up with me lately.. i went back to being a insufferable-think-i-know-it-all brat and pissed everyone around me without realising it.. yah so i made things twice as difficult for myself and thrice as bad for everyone else.. so sorry everyone.. i'll try to notice the signs of a relapse.. think i am schizophrenic..

think i'll end here.. got lots of work to do.. be it for school or AVA..

9:59 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, May 05, 2006

Internet Down..

house com's internet down.. no idea for what reason.. cant use it for a few weeks minimum.. i forsee big troubles ahead.. cos i still have alot of things not printed from Litespeed.. uh oh..

Five Foot Way.. a NYJC ELDDS drama production.. even as i blog now they are having their rehearsal.. sad to say that they beat BYG's latest-ending-rehearsal.. BYG was 9.00+pm.. Five Foot Way rehearsal ended at 10.20pm yesterday.. i must say that their props are pretty impressive.. they are able to reconstruct a lifelike model of a shophouse.. not those 2D card board types but two shophouse with 3D pillars complete with some steps leading 'upstairs' and even a 'roadside stall'..budget must haf been quite high..

most interesting thing that happened this week.. Mr Yee came up with who-knows-what idea to give my class a spelling test.. wanted guys vs girls.. as though we were primary school kids.. guys lost at the tiebreaker.. just because girls' wrong word has more correct alphabets than guys'..

Justin did a count today.. turns out that my class was taught by 17 teachers before..

GP - Mr Seah, Mr Tong Yee, Mr Yee
Physics - Mrs Chan, Mr Soh, Mr Gilbert Tay
Chemistry - Mrs Judy Tan, Ms Chng(not sure how to spell), Mr Matthew Soh, Mr Dennis Lim, Mr Soh, Mrs Queenie Wong, Mr Foo
Economics - Mrs Tay
Maths - Mr Loke
Chinese - Mr Chen, Ms Chen Hui

yup that's about all.. now i haf to go back to the rehearsal.. hope my internet gets back online soon..

3:03 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Untitled

was supposed to go attend Jie Yan brother's funeral wake.. but since alot of ppl arent going and i feel i wld only be a hindrance there, so i didnt go.. just passed the bai jing to Jieyi and tried to write something in the card to make Jie Yan feel better.. emphasize on the word 'tried' cos i dont think i did a good job..

faced the same old problem today.. when a friend is in trouble, i want to do something, yet i dont know what to do.. everytime its like that.. never once did i do something that let that person feel better.. never.. my interpersonal skills are horrible..

5:16 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Untitled

today's a bad day.. for some reason i dont know, i am very 'down' in the morning.. dont feel like doing anything.. even when doing the chem paper.. last 15 mins or so to try to fill in the blanks i left in the third question, but yet i just sat there stoning..

when eating lunch, one plate of chicken rice plus rice is not enough.. i ate another bowl of Oishii later.. still not full.. i feel so empty..

Jie Yan's brother Jie Cai passed away.. life is so fragile, so unfair.. innocent people die everyday, and yet others who sin (i'm not preaching) can escape scot free.. maybe being a Libra has something to do with this, but i feel sad and angry when i heard the news.. sad that a innocent life is gone so soon.. angry at myself for not being able to help before and not knowing what to do now to help Jie Yan.. angry at whatever higher powers that control everyone on playing the game of life with blindfolds.. wish i could cast spells.. wish there were places for me to blast away.. levelling a hill may help alleviate the storm inside me..

3:39 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, May 01, 2006

Study + Alcohol

not a very useful mix, study with alcohol.. but a nice one.. cos i sort of absorb the info without much thought, right after drinking some alcohol (not pure alcohol as in ROH).. even my DoTA improved.. but not good for my liver if i indulge in it daily..

anyway.. can say that i did study alot more today at Shawn's house with Jeslin and Chew Hwee than what i did in the past two days.. at least i know that Fehling's Reagent and Tollen's Reagent is used to test between ketone and aldehyde.. not sure which will give positive.. gave up on Chem before lunch today and switched to Physics.. so when everyone is discussing on alkylation and acylation i was talking about magnetic flux density.. no link but at least we were studying..

hope i wont die that horribly tomorrow..

9:08 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Hot & Humid

its been a very hot day.. think a nosebleed is inevitable in the days to come.. hope someone near me has a pack of tissues on standby..

i dont exactly enjoyed the Sunday, though it has nothing to do with the weather..

the left half of my right eye (confusing?) is kinda red.. not sure whether infection or what.. just that its itchy.. went to the optician and he checked it for me.. blabbered a whole chunk of gibberish that i had trouble following.. but in the end he summarised that nothing's wrong.. yet its still red.. hope it gets better..

now that SYNERGY is over.. i just feel very sian.. dont even feel like studying even though i am having a test on tuesday.. heck i didnt even do a single thing today which is considered constructive, except playing the piano.. wish studying is as easy as pushing up light cues.. i dont mind having another go at the SYNERGY dance in exchange for the upcoming Chemistry Lecture Test..

just found out that i once lived very near Jeslin.. back during the times before Primary School.. we were just living a block apart.. high possibility that we attended the same Kindergarten.. Singapore sure is small..

hope tomorrow would be better..

9:40 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, April 29, 2006

SYNERGY

finally, SYNERGY is over.. not that i am really relieved about it.. because now that the demon i know i can defeat is gone, another will come.. life's so unfair..

anyway.. SYNERGY proceeded with little glitches from AVA.. other mistakes such as whole performance items going missing for the finale is not part of AVA's fault.. lemme see.. dropping of microphones, unmuting wrong mikes, pulling down wrong submaster for lights.. quite minor.. and the other thing is that the evening show has some difference to the afternoon one.. which resulted in us AVA being unprepared cos all the rehearsals are aimed at the afternoon show.. so i was surprised that Shawn and "not sure what's his name, Kevin or Casper" came out to play their duet.. nvm.. small thing and its over.. dance item went with little glitches, though none visible to audiences..

so now that SYNERGY is over.. i can only look forward to the coming Tuesday's Lecture Test.. in a negative way..

totally drained.. think i'll stop here..

- End of Enchantment -

10:54 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, April 28, 2006

Post-SYNERGY-Blues

though afraid to admit, i think such a post-SYNERGY-blues is possible.. next week is not a good week.. holiday on Monday, yet tuesday got a big lecture test and Thursday's another.. OBT lurking somewhere.. so stressed.. i rather immerse myself in the stress of SYNERGY than the stress of studies..

as Davvol said, 'its better to keep a demon that you know, especially one that you know you can defeat, than exchange it for another which may be more powerful.'

at least i know i can manage SYNERGY with little or no glitches.. the dance instructor is not bad after all.. other than being a little on the feminine side, he's ok.. think we all werent exactly on the best of moods on the first rehearsal.. so that's that..

on a last note.. for those that never bought SYNERGY tickets, not sure whether its a wise choice, but think its a good choice, at least fringe performance is also not bad.. for those who bought, hope you have enough patience and artistic taste to endure and appreciate the show.. for those who is going to do the show, good luck that nothing goes wrong and in the case that something does, hope no one notices..

- End of Enchantment -

10:30 PM

`` stoningg

Bad Day..

no idea why am i so stressed.. no idea why am i so impatient.. no idea why i feel like thrashing and beating the hell out of anything standing in my path..

maybe.. just maybe.. it may have been because of the upcoming Chemistry and Physics Lecture Tests.. the outstanding homework on Permutation and Combination, PJC Prelim Paper 1 and Complex Number 3 Tutorial..

found a interesting description on Star Wars.. "a war where a farmer, ghosts, a green midget and an angry space bear try to save the galaxy from evil dorks in plastic white armor"..

still waiting for the SYNERGY Dance to finish stretching.. think i'm going to be scolded..

- End of Enchantment -

6:03 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Boring Day

nothing much happened.. no big explosions or teachers wanting to kill me or anything.. just some boring lectures and good hypnotist who took another profession in teaching..

just changed to a new skin.. spent quite some time editing.. the words were too 'pinkish'..so that's that..

oh and shawn pulled out FOUR permanent tooth yesterday.. think the dentist is nuts.. how is he suppose to eat properly? with his whole mouth bleeding like crazy yesterday, it'll be a wonder he would stuff anything down his throat without tasting blood.. and imagine a whole mouth numb.. with saliva flowing out uncontrolled.. crazy dentist.. no wonder must take 1 day MC..

tomorrow would be the SYNERGY practice for individual CCAs.. not sure anything good will come out of it.. but hey, at least they are trying to make a horrible show better.. that's an improvement.. hope everything's fine on Saturday, as any one involved would (though not involved to the extent of BYG)..

- End of Enchantment -

11:15 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, April 24, 2006

Heat Stroke?

not exactly feeling well today.. head feels kinda heavy and has a dull ache in it.. mom says i may have gotten a mild heat stroke.. except for the hallucinations all the rest of the symptoms are in place.. but even without hallucinations throughout the day i have been either sleeping in classes or daydreaming.. so it sort of counts..

speaking of dreaming, sleeping with a headache (like i did yesterday) has interesting results.. first is the wierd dreams.. could remember the full dream(s) but i definitely remember being at a rifle range shooting a rifle, someone snatching away my marksman badge.. some teacher teaching us how to preserve something using a chemical mixed with water, and another student saying that genes can absorb milo (huh?).. walking down a corridor with many many preserved foetus, foetus' nervous system, muscular system, skeletons, organs.. all showing some part of the foetal development.. looking at two person playing a extra long piano, and i shattered a person's left arm and leg by twisting it, till the bone burst and the fragments stuck out of the skin..wierd thing was i woke up a few times, hence the classification of the dreams in plural.. but once i woke up sitting straight, meaning i slept in a sitting position, without any back support.. 1st time i ever did that.. amazing what heat stroke can do..

- End of Enchantment -

8:27 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Dragonboat Race

very tiring day.. but happy to say that in Dragonboat Fun Race today our CLASS got into the Grand Finals, fighting against 2 Kayak Racing Teams and 1 Dragonboat Team.. though sadly we lost by a wee bit to one of the Kayak teams.. and the silly thing is that there were 2 finals, a Grand finals (top 4) and a Plate finals (5 - 8).. only the top 3 in each finals can get prizes.. so kinda silly.. anyway quite tired now.. plus throbbing headache, hope its dehydration.. also tmr i will be setting cues for SYNERGY.. hope the lightboard cooperates..

- End of Enchantment -

8:32 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, April 22, 2006

I'm Sorry..

life is so fragile, death is so cruel.. only now do i realise how ignorant i am.. i wonder how i can still worry about some stupid SYNERGY instructor, when elsewhere someone is struggling to stay alive.. and yet, knowing so, all i can do is just to stand by helplessly and hope for the best.. while i worry about what to say to console him, he worries about whether his brother can make it through to the next day.. this is not how a friend should be like.. this is not how friends should help one another.. yet i can think of nothing which to make the situation better..

i do not know what to say.. i do not know what to do..

i am really sorry..

- End of Sorcery -

7:18 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, April 21, 2006

Super Duper Boring Friday

its been a long and tiring day.. 1st is Maths tutorial, where i dont understand a single bit about Loci of Argand Diagram.. next Maths lecture on Discreet Random Variable, a mouthful for a title of a topic which i also understand nuts.. think i am going to die horribly in statistics..

GP is torture except that i can sleep without worry that Mr Yee is going to scold me.. Physics Prac is tedious.. Voting for Student Council is pointless..

after school we adjusted some lights which are used in BYG and some other event.. due to their use in these events their rendered useless in other events.. we spent a long time trying to find the ladder.. no idea where the school kept it anyway.. den Choir came in and practice.. since we AVA were there they just requested us to give them mikes and the likes.. blah blah.. their singing is not bad, though i wouldnt want to sit in a lecture theatre and listen to it for 2 hours.. extremely tiring.. next is Dance practice.. dont wanna comment on it except the dance instructor think he's the almighty jerk who expects everything to be to his specifications, even though they did not match those specifications of his a few moments before.. simply say that AVA got a sound thrashing from him after the event.. meet the parents is downright boring..

that's about all in a boring day.. surprising there's still so much to say..

- End of Enchantment -

10:12 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, April 20, 2006

NAPFA

had a huge shock today when the PE teacher said that we were to have our NAPFA test today.. to think that right before PE we were saying that if we were to do 2.4 km run today we would get emotional trauma for not being mentally prepared.. oh well, at least overall i got a gold.. cant expect much considering i am having SNAG for the past two months or so..

(in order of test)

2.4km run - 11 min 50 s, C
Sit and Reach - 46 cm, B
Standing Broad Jump - 235 cm, C
Pull-up - 10, A
Shuttle Run - 9.7 s, A
Sit-up - 47, A

Mr Soh still MIA.. luckily Queenie Wong didnt come in for Chem Prac today.. dont think i can stand 2 hour of her nagging.. its not that her teaching is bad or something, but just that she keep repeating her point for who knows how many time.. and she always spend almost one period scolding us for wasting time.. last time she did it during lecture and recently when she relieved my class.. anyway, the other teacher that relieved the class is Mr Dennis Lim.. cant say much about him except he's a good cure for insomia..

nothing much else to say.. tomorrow will be a horrible day.. Synergy Dance Rehearsal + Meet the Parents.. die liao..

- End of Enchantment -

9:32 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I've Let Go..

this is one day in which i woke up and realise i dont care about anything anymore.. i dont care if friends are being snatched away.. i dont care if friends backstab me.. i dont care if the person i like already likes someone else.. i finally learnt to let go..

but it has been a tedious 9 years.. i dont remember how it feels like to be so aimless.. just drifting and drifting.. as time ticks by second by second, i dont give a damn about what happens around me.. not about Mr Yee is talking crap in class.. or Queenie Wong is talking a whole load of rubbish.. but the seconds pass like years.. it seems as if time is taking one step forward and two steps back.. it may be better this way.. because sooner or later i will go back to the time i had never moved to Bendemeer Road.. never enroll in Bendemeer Primary School.. when i can just play and laugh the whole day and not give a damn about school or friends..

now i sit here laughing at students kicking and punching without apparent purposes.. i wonder whether has someone replaced the hole in my soul.. or its just a replacement that i try to shove inside my heart to stop my emotions from flowing away.. perhaps..

- End of Transformation -

3:24 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, April 17, 2006

Synergy = Saps Your eNERGY

today's Synergy technical run is somewhat a stupid waste of time.. tech run is for each performing item to decide on their placing and their audio requirements.. yet the teacher in charge did not want any markings on the stage, and each item is only given 2 mins (though some went up to 30 mins) to rehearse their stage placing.. a real big waste of time.. oh and the lightings which they require is so much more sophisticated than Bai Yun Gang.. speaking of which the going out of school at 9 plus when the sky is all dark and eating Mac at Serangoon Central really brought back memories.. dont think Synergy will leave an impression on me like those of Bai Yun Gang.. teacher in charge is grumpy and snaps at students without reason.. all the items so haphazard.. dance instructor and some teachers think we are their slaves, giving stupid instruction (some of which is totally beyond my power to do).. lousy MCs.. last but not least the teachers spending 30 mins screwing the students on their performance and their ticketing..

maybe someday i will wake up to find that i am still back in primary 6.. to the good old days when the only thing i have to worry is whether my back can last the day's dose of WWF stunts.. stupid Windows Messenger not letting me log in.. Friendster become Fiendster when it just cant load.. Chem lagging so far behind.. i think i'll do better with the WWF stunts..

- End of Sorcery -

10:54 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, April 14, 2006

Very Many Random Thoughts

many things passed my mind today, so i'll just post what i remembered.. most of them have no link with each other..

If you wanna find us, you must be smart.
If you wanna catch us, you must be quick.
If you wanna beat us, you must be KIDDING.

interesting slogan.. saw it on the back of a guy's shirt..

KBox was kinda ok.. but because there were no girls we couldnt exactly sing the nicer songs like Wu Ding and the likes.. we also couldnt enjoy the K Happy time slot due to today being the public holiday.. too bad.. most of the time Justin would just chip in with his 'fake' voice..i do not like to hold the microphone and sing.. i prefer to sing when someone else is singing, so my mistakes are kinda covered.. much much better.. by the time we ended our session i kinda lost my voice for a moment.. got it back before i reached home.. btw Mr Tay sings the old song very well, but cant exactly do the more recent songs..

went play pool afters at Marina Square, while Mr Tay play arcade Virtual Cop 3.. absolutely professional.. one shot one kill.. think he completed the whole game with one credit.. impressive..

took a bendy bus 857 home.. very thrilling ride because the driver was speeding.. the bus was overtaking cars on the road, and the turning was almost comparable to a rollercoaster ride since i was sitting on the second 'cabin'.. almost..

oh yah.. i gave a good thought about my nature on the bus ride home when the bus was travelling on straight roads.. realised that have many conflicting personalities and preference.. i like to talk, but i do not know the right thing to say.. i like people to know me well, but i dont want to be in the centre of attraction.. i like to socialise, but i dont quite like strangers..kinda all jumbled up..

dont wanna type about my dream now.. too long anyway.. but i swear i saw yiwen dressed up as a little boy.. complete with shorts and a shirt plus a small little cap and sitting on the steps of CCHMS Grand Auditorium (was going there to set up the AVA system for some thing)..

that's about all for now.. tmr still got the stupid Maths Remedial Lecture cum Mass Tutorial.. i dont expect it to be interesting..

- End of Enchantment -

9:34 PM

`` stoningg

Negative x Negative = ?

whole morning spoilt.. just because dad want the fish 'pond' cleaned and he doesnt want to do it.. just keep hollering at me to clean the fish guano at the bottom.. i got so fed up that i decided to drain the whole pond instead of scooping up the pile of shit as he told me.. not enjoyable, since the pond is on the floor, i cant drain it with a hose.. plus my whole body aching from yesterday's PE.. i could swear the thought of killing the goldfishes crossed my mind at least once.. so frustrated i forgot some part of my dream last night.. something about digging up someone's grave and going CCHMS seeing yiwen dressed up as a little boy.. will write about it later..

just remembered my PW results.. no idea why i forgot the whole stupid thing yesterday.. half of the class got band 3.. not sure whether to blame it on ourselves, the examiner or the tutor.. Mr Seah is not a bad teacher.. just that he gives me a impression that he's a very slack teacher.. oh well.. nothing much i can do about PW now.. too late to retake ( i must be an idiot to even consider this) and spending $168 to re-evaluate the paper is utterly pointless ( SEAB wouldnt admit that they gave the wrong marks)..

with all these stupid negative things happening now.. i really hope that real life would obey the laws of Mathematics.. negative x negative = positive.. unfortunately in real life negative x negative = more negative.. dammit..

- End of Curse -

11:11 AM

`` stoningg

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Contacts

first time in 3 months wearing contacts.. by now i had gotten used to it.. dont feel a thing now.. or maybe my eye was so irritated that its 'sense of irritation' just shut down.. perhaps i could just stick a finger into my eye and nothing will happen.. oh boy.. but i still cant kick the habit of adjusting my spectacles.. would subconsciously try to adjust the bride of the specs, only to find that i am not wearing it anymore.. i can also rest my face on the table without taking off my specs.. Yay!! no more worries about dirty specs lens when i fall asleep and fall face flat on the table..

PE today was horrible.. especially since it has been long from the last time i really pushed my limit.. and SNAG isnt really helping much..

1. 3 rounds the track
2. 2 sets of pull up
3. squat jumps 2 x 15
4. Superman 2 x 15
5. plyrometrics 3 sets
6. sit up x 35
7. scissors jump 2 x 15
8. Push up 2 x 15

was very giddy at the end of it all.. if it wasnt zhi liang that supported me into the canteen think i would have fainted on the stairs.. too slack for too long..

nothing much interesting happened today.. other than the PE teacher trying to kill all SNAG people and me trying to poke my own eye.. its been a boring day.. except my mild headache from dehydration which is irritating me now..

- End of Enchantment -

8:54 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Random Thoughts

very interesting day.. much has happened today..

first,
very-insanely-early-till-i-wonder-whether-its-still-night in the morning, my stupid calf muscle just had to cramp.. so painful that i jerk awake, grabbed my right calf, unbalanaced and tumbled off the bed.. interrupted my dream about sitting in a bus being drove by a lunatic on the grandstand suspended 10 storeys above the air.. stupid cramp took 5 mins to go away, all the while i was tumbling on the ground, almost wanting to bang my head on something but not near any wall (cant bang on floor 'cause my neck muscles are sleeping).. woke up dunno how many hours later and the muscle is still sore..

second,
school song is very horrible.. it totally makes no sense, comparable to my GP teacher's arguments on his stand.. "Like a graceful palm tree, we stand together strong and free. Yet the palm tree stand alone, a lonely sight to see. For together we build, blah blah.." totally contradict itself.. its saying that NYJC stands alone because the students build together.. about the same as my GP teacher.. he once said that golf is a bad sport because it only allows rich people to play.. when the class argued that the equipments are expensive, he just changed the topic to Winter Olympics, on how the countries allowed to participate are USA, Canada, Europe countries, Australia etc. but not Singapore or Malaysia.. we told him straight its because Singapore cant join due to the fact that Singapore has no winter or mountains, so cant expect Singaporeans to practice skiing on Bukit Timah.. he argued that that's not the point and that Singaporeans can go other countries to practice, a stupid argument if u ask me because the time spent on perfecting the sport is numbered in years, and they would rather just get citizenship in the country instead of playing for Singapore.. what for have a interest in skiing and fly from Singapore to Switzerland every week to practice for a day or two.. crap..

third,
Block Test results.. i know some people's gonna slaughter me, but i'll just put it up anyway.. Maths - A, Physics - C, Chemistry - E, GP - D7.. GP teacher's marking standard caused the whole class to be quite upset.. makes no logic.. which kinda proves my point above..

fourth,
got my contacts.. funny thing was my out-of-practice for 3 months (since December) in wearing contacts, my timing for per eye dropped from 20 mins to less than 1 min.. not bad..

nothing much else to write.. South Park ROCKS!!! yah that's about all..

-End of Enchantment-

8:42 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Over-Friendly?

met a very interesting bus driver this morning.. cant think of anything to describe him except that he is a little over-friendly-till-you-think-he-has-some-screw-loose-in-his-head, if you get what i mean.. he kept telling people that we should sit wherever there's a free space, telling us if he emergency brake n we fall its not his fault because he already warned us.. so he kinda scolded me as he stopped at the 3rd stop due to the fact that i was the only one standing in the bus.. so i sat down.. end of story.. about him scolding other people is not of my business..

had another scary-yet-not-scary dream last night (wonder why i keep remembering my dreams nowadays)..

i was in a garden with four tall concrete walls surrounding.. a few others were gathered around and we were conferencing on who to go kill a vampire.. i volunteered and went out of the only gate in the wall, ringing a bell in my hand.. i was walking along the perimeter of the wall when i heared a scream at the gate behind me.. i ran right back to find the gate missing, and that some 'ghouls' are running amok inside.. i threw a fireball at the nearest one, which was bald and was holding very long hair in its hands and flesh dripping off the face.. instead of burning away, the fire sort of healed it and it appeared like a normal human.. i turned and slammed my fist into the ground, trying to send a shockwave at one with a pufferfish head that was charging at me, but for some reason it didnt work.. hence i hurl myself at it, ramming its stomach with my shoulder.. i stepped back and realised my right shoulder had bits of my bones jutting out.. someone tapped me from behind and i turned.. wierd thing was i knew the girl that tapped me was somewhat a 'ghoul', but yet she looked very normal, and i also knew her from long ago.. we just started chatting, while around us people were fighting soundlessly.. just as i was commenting on how she had not grown by alot and was about to tap her head, i blacked out..

-end of dream-

9:08 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, April 10, 2006

Very Very Tired

i've not been myself lately.. feeling very mentally exhausted.. my "sleeping during the evenings" is slowly turning into a habit.. though i would think of it as a total waste of time, considering that i always wake up disorientated and has a higher tendency of "waking up but am still inside a dream".. today is a good example of such adream.. but i am too tired after dinner to do anything.. well, maybe it's because of monday blues plus the 4 1/2 hr break in my timetable today.. so the day's been nothing but boring..

what i consider as the most interesting thing that happened in school was that my nose suddenly bleed during Physics Tutorial.. for no reason at all.. i was talking to Justin when i felt a sudden rush of fluids down my right nostril.. kinda brings back memories of the time when my nose always bleed for no reason at all.. the blood soaked one whole tissue.. quite little in my standard.. other than that nothing much..

took my blood pressure again.. 122/63.. maybe i remembered wrongly for my NS checkup..

nothing much for now.. think i'll go get a Gundam to built soon so that i can forget everything else for a moment..

8:36 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Sick?

airpipe kinda constricted or something.. cant breathe properly for the whole day.. think it may be because of flu or something.. hope it doesnt last till tomorrow..

7:22 PM

`` stoningg

Becoming a Retard

something happened yesterday.. or maybe the day before.. i dont remember what, but think its kinda huge.. it slowed my thinking process down by alot.. now my mind's so cramped with i dunno what that i cant even organise my timetable for the rest of the month.. even for next week everything all seems so jumbled up.. man aint i gonna be screwed..

as usual dad spoils my day early in the morning.. he was sitting beside the computer reading his papers when he ask me to go into his stack of CDs and find a file.. WTH.. he can jolly well do it himself, but he choose not to because since there is me to do it why should he? maybe i should compile a list of "what he can do but always pushes them to me to do" things..

1. Answer the telephone which is right beside him
2. clean his fish tank/ filter
3. water his plants
4. fill the warranty cards of the items he bought
5. post letters
6. clean his display rack of wines
7. clean his room's air-con filters (he doesnt allow us children to sleep in air-con room everyday)
8. clean up his RC office
9. etc.. cant think some more.. mind still jammed..

anyway, south park is kinda nice.. it addresses alot of issues, though it has some mature content.. but overall quite nice..

12:24 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Dream Diary

finally went to thin my hair today.. its nothing much.. just that my hair is able to stand properly now when i gel it..

had a wierd dream last night.. not exactly nice but it has been long since i wrote a dream on my blog..

i was part of a gang inside a white room (kinda wierd?).. there was another gang at the opposite side of the room.. the two laoda were initially arguing over some matter.. then someone on the other side grab a little girl from this side.. and the whole room erupted.. i was holding a wooden staff and clubbed a guy over the head.. someone thrust a sword at my arm but i deflected it into another person's thigh.. then i chased the person carrying the little girl into the corridor.. then i drove the whole staff through that person.. he dropped the girl, and her head sort of hit the floor and started to bleed, so i brought her back into the surprisingly quiet room and passed her to the laoda and his men.. they stiched the wound and lay her down to rest while chatting about something in a language that i didnt know..

he turned and pointed at me, then at the little girl before pointing at himself.. i picked up the girl and sling her over my shoulder, and followed the laoda out of another door.. i ended up inside a crowded train cabin.. i moved to the end just as the train was pulling into another station.. and suddenly the rear detached and slid back down the track.. i was bumped and shoved by the other people in the train when the carriage banked at turns.. the carriage stopped at a station below a huge bridge and i went out of the cabin and laid the little girl on the floor.. as i was checking for her pulse someone shoved his hand through my chest.. i felt intense pain and blacked out..

yah that's about what i dreamt.. though i rmb there were some familiar faces.. couldnt recall now..

11:11 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, April 07, 2006

Qing Gong Yan

went NS health checkup this morning.. was the first one dere.. so finished the test within 2 1/2 hrs.. lemme see..

1. Photo taking

2. Hearing test
didnt know the test started, so i didnt raise my hand when i heard the sound

3. Urine test/ Blood test
very painless for the needles.. maybe my flu caused my whole body to be numb

4. Dental

5. X ray
make me stand in a position which remind me of chicken wings

6. Electrocardiogram

7. Height weight/ blood pressure
131/65.. no idea whether high or not..

8. Medical Checkup

9. Intelligence test
the qns are somewhat crap..though there are difficult ones..

nothing else worth talking bout much.. i got a Pes A.. no idea why..

Qing Gong Yan's highlight is the 2 kittens.. one is hiding below the lockers.. the other is hiding in the sewer pipe.. didnt get to mix around alot.. cos the lights n sounds crew ppl that turns up is only yiwen and me.. the others are in groups.. so i kinda keep myself away..den blah blah.. we played some games.. i got so tired that i slept leaning on the traffic light.. oh boy.. hope my flu doesnt erupt or turn into something soon..

11:35 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Stupid Me

i've been a down right idiot this week.. doing things that i now feel is so pointless.. past 5 days had been downright depressing..

1. Avoiding is not equal Forgetting

but i still did it to some extent.. hoping that i will forget when we meet less.. goes to show what an idiot i am..

2. Brooding over other things help me forget

as if.. only make me look dao and moody.. end up i only get more and more depressed.. plus whole week of thinking cause alot of pent up energy.. today burst out during PE.. cheong 3 rds track without panting.. today also hyper-talkative.. not gd being a capacitor.. scared i explode one day and everyone around me will get blown away..

i think i should stop everything now.. go back to what i was.. hope everything can return to what it was before.. at least tmr NS checkup should be fun.. blood tests and the likes..

8:27 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Detached

i feel very detached from everyone this week.. maybe its just me dao-ing everyone.. no idea.. dun wanna say more on this..

changed the skin yesterday.. realised the tagboard glitch has something to do with previous skin.. oh well.. waste of time trying to edit the tagboard code when the stupid problem is with the page itself.. glad dat its ok now..

yiwen took off her braces some time this week (i think).. now she really look like a small girl.. hahaa..at best i would give her to be 12 yrs old.. a very unlikely candidate for laoda of AVA.. ^_^

had a splitting headache in school.. think it was dehydration.. dun wanna risk it by running round the track..

nuff said for now.. i just wanna sit somewhere and stone..

4:15 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, April 03, 2006

stoning

no idea what's with me today.. Physics was teaching Benoulli's Effect.. in other words, how a plane flies.. and i am stoning throughout the lesson.. not that i am tired or anything.. if i was i would have slept.. just feel mentally drained.. think i floated too high without the load and got asphyxia..

also.. i went for a jog with Justin after school today.. 5 rds and i am feeling a little giddy.. luckily the test is in 3rd week of May.. but it still made me v tired..

so.. a mentally and physically fatigued me went home on the bus, and a funny thing happened.. i was thinking of something.. a few of the more distressing things on my mind.. when i lost the notion of time.. when my conscious faded back to reality, i realised that not much time has passed.. as in a few seconds.. and yet it was as though i had been thinking of the things for a v long time.. norm i would experience these very occassionally.. but just on the bus ride of 15 mins i had umpteen times of such "zoning out".. made the trip seem exceptionally long.. maybe that's what it's like for a Planeswalker.. they feel so detached from the world that if for one second they lose concentration they would just fade out into the Blind Eternities..

11:08 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Aimless

i really dunno how to say.. even to the extent of what to say.. cos i am so confused now i actually enjoyed a whole morning of cleaning the inch-thick dust in the Residents Committee office after its renovation.. a duty which i am not required to think.. one which is a relief considering the emptiness in my mind..

what i know is i wanna thank a person.. for showing me the way.. yet i am still uncertain whether i want to walk down the new path, or stay where i am.. resilience vs letting go.. thank you for lifting a load of my mind.. but now that its lighter it's just floating aimlessly.. makes me think whether i would be better off with the load.. not that i am blaming anyone.. just on my own stubborness..

still, no idea what i am doing now.. AVA's kinda messy for me cos of duty change.. cos i haf not been doing my duty well.. school work i haf no idea where i stand.. everything seems kinda messed up now..

hope things will be better.. hoping against the hopeless is all hope i have left..

9:56 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, March 27, 2006

Lethargy

i like sleeping an hr after dinner.. then i would wake up feeling so lethargic and lost that i would forget everything.. isn't that good? forget everything.. i would wake up and go 'huh? where am i?', and don't give a damn about the rest of the world while i lie in bed trying to remember who i am and what happened today.. after struggling to remember i would just decide to go back to sleep and don't want to wake up.. to sleep on and forget everything else..

just got back my Physics and Maths Block Test results.. i do not know whether i should be happy or hate myself.. cos those that supposed to get good results didn't.. and yet i manage to scrape something.. it seemed like sec 4 normal chinese results release all over again.. i am beginning to believe that hating myself for getting these results is the right course of action.. i should hate myself for leaving my friends behind.. what "one for all, all for one".. all 4 yrs in NCC i had lived by that rule.. but i just am not qualified to even mention it.. today's been horrible.. watching all those i had studied with during the holidays break down or curse their results while i just sit silently and watch.. i can't comfort them.. else i would look like a stuck-up asshole.. i can't curse my results.. i feel so helpless..

9:40 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Disco Night / Sentosa

no time to do the post yesterday and the day before.. so i combined both..

Disco Night

horrible.. a total if you ask me.. why does the Student Council have to use a live band to perform? 2 to be exact.. they only made the performance boring and slow down the year 1 before they even got high.. so sadly.. nothing fantastic about this Orientation 2's Disco night.. however.. we got the largest light stick in the whole hall.. Shawn's Lightsabre.. we were swinging it upstairs while people down below are drooling and wanting to borrow the $230 piece of art.. too bad.. in retrospect, i did duty since morning 6.30am and ended duty at 8.00pm.. not bad.. 13 n a half hrs of duty in 1 day.. not exactly a waste of time as i had no other things i could do for the day.. no computer games outings not allowed.. duty is a better option for stoning.. and Yiwen wanted to watch Star Wars too..

Sentosa

quite a fun day.. volleyballs, captain balls, soccer, play pool, kayaking, swimming, building sandcastle on top of people.. all at the expense of $5.. amazing isn't it? of course the $5 is for the rental for those activities stated above which requires more than sand and sea water.. we don't exactly need to pay for those.. those present, Justin, Peifen, Yiwen, Xi Ying, Ming Jue, Connie n me.. Jieyan and Beien counldn't make it.. or it would have been more fun-filled.. volleyball is quite embarassing.. the only volleyball we touch is during PE.. so our absymal playing could not be compare to those playing right next to us.. ours is more of who-is-able-to-serve-the-ball-properly game.. had the wind knocked out of me when i tried a bicycle kick.. for Pool Ming Jue, Justin and Connie teamed against Peifen, Yiwen n me.. we lost all three matches.. 1st is cos i have not played since March last year.. very rusty aiming.. 2nd is i only know the basics.. 3rd is that Yiwen and Peifen are beginners.. oh well.. nvm.. we then played abit of table-soccer.. Justin n Yiwen vs Peifen n me.. we won them 5-3..kayaking i paired with Yiwen.. glad that there isnt much additional weight.. not much space to paddle in the lagoon.. not like LTC.. but we still had fun splashing water at each other.. swimming afters was fun.. i didnt know Xi Ying can't swim.. though i think she's so tall that she would be able to walk the whole lagoon with her head always above the water.. then i was buried in the sand.. was quite ok as i didn't felt anything, excluding sand going into my ears, mouth and nose.. it was even ok when Justin stood on top of the 'hill' and buried his leg in there.. everything was fine till i pulled my leg out.. then i realised that the blood circulation stopped.. so when i pulled out my leg it cramp.. very ouch..

afters we tried volleyball again.. same thing happened as stated above.. so we tried soccer till Yiwen's leg tried to occupy the same space as the ball.. then we decided on captain's ball.. wasn't fair as i teamed with Yiwen and Connie.. Yiwen cant exactly jump high.. so we let her be a goal keeper on a platform.. not much difference with Xi Ying being the defender.. then Connie can't run..

nothing much happened after this.. just washed up and went for dinner.. overall was fun and tiring.. a very nice break after the block test..

10:25 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Star Wars

physics paper in the morning.. horrible.. the school is trying to demoralise us.. the last chance to slaughter the year 2s.. sadly, they didn't waste the chance to take it out on us Science students.. not that it is undo-able.. but most of them i did through trial and error.. what's past is past.. hope everything turns out alright.. expecting a D..

more interesting things.. the Art of Star Wars Exhibition at Science Centre.. went with fellow Star Wars addicts Shawn and Jieyan, plus a ever-inquisitive Yiwen who know nuts about Star Wars but still wants to go anyway, with Justin leading the way but did not go in.. what a waste.. but i must say i did not regret spending $18 on the entry fee.. but it's kinda disappointing in the sense that some of the exhibits are cleared.. most obvious figure absent is Jieyan's idol Darth Maul.. i've gotta say that after looking at him for awhile (Darth Maul), he's really good.. especially his ability to square off against a Jedi Master and a Jedi Knight.. absoulutely fabulous sabre fighting.. back to the exhibits.. the models of ships such as the Jedi Starfighter and the Star Destroyer is breathtaking.. was planning to smuggle it home.. only hitch is that it is so much bigger than me.. too obvious to drag it through the turnstile.. oh and Yiwen is proud to be taller than at least 2 of the races in Star Wars.. namely the Jawas (Tatooine) and Yoda.. and her name is on the List of Highscores for the Star Wars Triva game.. knowledge contributed by Jieyan Shawn n me.. Yiwen just put in her name.. oh and the Genosis Sinkhole model.. taller than me.. and it is filled with so much detail that we were all like "what the hell??" .. ao that's that..

the souvenir shop is er.. lousy.. they don't even sell X-Wings.. not even a proper TIE Fighter.. the few things i saw worth buying is the TIE Intercepter LEGO set and the Posters.. $40 and $20.. too ex.. so i bought a Grevious Badge for $25.. plus a LEGO Jedi Interceptor for $2.50.. a small one which looks ok and Shawn Jieyan n me built in the MRT.. with many people watching and wondering y 3 JC person would be playing with a small LEGO set in public.. oh well.. heck them anyway..

nth much to say now.. exams over.. back to 'Sian' state.. suddenly so much time to stone.. hope i got some games to play or something.. tmr orientation AVA duty should be fun..

9:03 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Calm in the Storm

did aplenty of studying today.. nothing else.. hoping for the hopeless is the only hope i have left.. so that's that.. Physics.. hope they don't slaughter us like they did in Maths..

oh right.. before going to school.. i did 2 errands for my dad.. though that didn't break my record of most errands ran in a day.. they sure are tiring..

Errand 1: Clean the Fish Tank Filter

just cleaned it last week.. think the wool jammed the fan.. so just washed the wool.. make sure it does not get jammed in the fan anymore.. ad scoop up fish poo from the pond..

Errand 2: Collect a Pen from Toa Payoh HDB Hub

sounds kinda stupid doesn't it.. a PEN!!! my first thought was "its just a pen.. why bother going all the way to Toa Payoh to get a pen? we have so many pens at home".. he said that the pen cost $108.. and i was like "oh ok.. still kinda stupid".. 20th floor of HDB Hub.. the staffs there aren't exactly friendly.. first counter i approach didnt even look up.. just point to the correct one.. the other just look at my IC and papers, shoved the pen+casing at me and ask me to sign..

my 2nd sis (FYI i have 3 sisters) had some stupid "argue without going through the head" argument with me again.. said she desperately wanted to use the com for her homework.. blah blah.. ok.. promised me max she use is 15 mins.. so i allow.. give in.. then after logging into her account she said she dun wanna use le.. wanted to punch her in the face.. argue for the sake of arguing.. stupid sister..

11:01 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

3 Down.. 1 Last One..

Chemistry.. the paper i am most uncertain.. because i anyhow do the paper till i am unable to judge the grades i will be getting.. was not one of my best subjects anyway.. Ionic Equilibra is a guessing game.. Chemical Test is more of a building block game.. i count all the C, H, Na, I and O in the reactants and form the products.. especially the triiodomethane test.. think that's about all.. nothing much to write about Chemistry Exam anyway.. Expecting nothing.. hope can pass ok le..

i wasn't feeling well after the test.. throbbing headache.. so i went home instead of staying in school to study.. slept the whole afternoon.. except the time Justin called me.. and said something about giving me $40.. i think.. can't remember what they were saying.. i was in a half-asleep state.. by the time i woke up for dinner.. the headache was horrible.. mind over matter.. at least i didn't use my rice as pillows..

saw something on the news which i feel was sad, cruel yet necessary.. one of the countries hit by the Bird Flu is killing chickens.. they were throwing boxes like those used for serving pizzas into a deep pit.. to my horror the boxes are stuffed full of LIVE chicks.. yellow and fluffy.. dropping all the way to fall on others already inside.. can see the whole crowd at the bottom which came out of the box.. then the workers threw some white power, think is disinfectant, inside before burying them.. sad that they had to be buried alive.. suffocation is way worse than a slit on the throat.. but as of most countries they would rather spend less $ and be cruel than spend more to be more humane..

rested enough(i hope).. tomorrow gonna cheong Physics.. wish that my headache will go away by then..

9:31 PM

`` stoningg

Monday, March 20, 2006

2 down.. 2 to go..

finished GP and Maths today.. in a sense also finished by the 2 paper.. oh well.. didn't expect much anyway..

GP.. 1st paper of the Block Test (for me).. was kinda smooth in the composition writing part.. many thanks to Mr Tong Yee who gave me the points for Mass Media.. seems easy peasy.. except 3 other class also wrote the same topic.. with the same points and examples.. think the person marking is gonna think all 3 classes cheated.. oh well.. can't be helped.. Comprehension is ok.. i think.. as i went in without knowing how to do AQ.. hope i crapped, or as Mr Lee puts it, Bullshitted enough to earn at least a 4.. the second passage is about Nazis and Multiculturism.. no idea what it is saying.. expecting a D..

Maths.. 3hr paper.. total fiasco.. 7 questions in 3 hrs.. first thought was "what the hell!! so much time.. total waste" .. that was until i started the 1st question.. jammed there for 30 mins before i decide to go on to the next question.. just realised that my curve sketching is a goner.. so is my Maclaurin's Series.. best part is the most difficult topics like integration to find area or volume and the likes are not in the test.. LLM!!! ok.. that's not the worse.. main highlight of the Maths Test is that the stupid, no brain and horribly IT-idiot teacher dimmed the lights till less than 10 is working.. and at a dull glow.. so we ended up doing maths sums in the dark for 20 mins.. till Mr Tham (Subject Head of I.T. .. in short, S.H.I.T. ) came and turn back on the lights.. he also gave us a measly extra 10 mins.. during the dark times there were constant talking.. just that the teacher can't even see the students.. so can't be bothered.. which meant many people cheated.. can't be helped.. human nature.. expecting a D..

tomorrow is Chemistry.. i have absolutely no idea how i will do.. as i don't even think i will be able to easily apply all those things i studied into the question.. oh well.. i'll just wait and see..

8:26 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, March 19, 2006

So it Begins..

tomorrow the great 'Block Test' War starts.. hope everyone's prepared.. i pray that for the coming days no one gets mowed down by Differentiation or Ionic Equilibra or the likes.. not exactly nice that we have to face the 'Kukuches Man' for a month after the punishment of receiving abysmal test results.. school sure knows how to torture students..

for the past few days.. i've been preparing with a group of friends (Jie Yan Justin Peifen Yiwen).. we kinda form a study group.. Coffee Bean at SingPost for the past 2 days.. can say the environment is quite good.. more work done than compared to the first 5 days combined.. n i don't mean W=fd.. allows me to concentrate, maybe cos of the coffee in the background.. but also that any uncertainty of the topics i have i can ask around.. 5 heads surely better than one.. really muz thank them after the war is over..

lastly before i retire.. i am left with $5 for the rest of the month.. dunno where the hell am i going to get money to survive.. not forgetting the $18 i am suppose to set aside for the Star Wars Exhibition Shawn, Jie Yan and me are going nxt friday.. hope i stashed some cash aside in the past and forgotten all about it.. its time to get them out..

good luck have fun for the Block Test..

10:25 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Block Test Saga

went Changi Airport to study today.. its a gd change to the usual libraries i go to.. at least i sat down for about 5 hrs of solid study.. though now i am so saturated with info that i don't know which goes where.. formulae floating about and definitions half complete.. think i'll go crazy soon..

with all those things bugging me (previous entry).. dad's sudden interest in my 'Block Test Saga'.. my lagging in school work due to my lack of study during BYG (my fault.. not blaming CCS).. for those who want to see the evil side of me.. just continue irritating me some more these few days.. not a threat but, i think my limit is just about to be reached.. sorry if i seems wierd lately or in the days to come..

that's about all.. hope my study session in SingPost tomorrow can be of some help to straighten the tangle of information in my head..

12:20 AM

`` stoningg

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Holidays

since secondary school.. i dislike holidays.. especially the June and December Holidays.. they are especially dull.. partially due to the fact that i am restricted in my outing cos of my dad.. so during the holidays.. i literally disappear.. locked up in my house.. and i feel so distant from everyone.. not that that is helping my studies in anyway..

so to stop being locked up in my house.. i went Marine Parade Library to study.. met Kynan there.. haf not seen him for quite awhile.. chatted abit.. couldnt find a place to study.. all the tables taken.. so i sat at the Tamil books section.. lesser people.. and did some work.. totally lost my concentration in an hour and a half.. kept reading the same page yet nothing goes in.. so hoping that tomorrow's studying with Sherry would help.. i went for a walk at Parkway Parade.. nothing much.. but i spent $10 on something i realized i don't need.. but it helped me relief the heavy load on my mind.. now i know why some people like shopping.. haiz.. much things on my mind lately..

first and foremost.. the block test.. don't tink i can do well this time.. freaking plenty of things i still have not memorized.. not that i don't want to.. just that i can't get the info into my head lately..

next.. a friend i know is moving house to somewhere far away.. i know that this is normal.. but i just can't help feeling sad..

the 2 events coming up.. MCS and Synergy 2006.. abit troubled over the placement of manpower.. not many people want to do MCS.. considering the past experience..

my personality.. i am wondering whether i should carry on.. be the one listening instead of the one making all the noise.. realised that its more 'energy-saving' this way.. but those around me are finding it wierd.. and i myself don't like it sometimes..

4:25 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Community Involvement Programme

Boring day.. BOR-RING.. spent the morning studying.. afternoon doing errand for my dad's RC (i.e CIP ).. night studying.. how interesting can my holiday get??

sad to say.. the CIP is the most interesting thing that occured in the day.. went round the whole estate pinning up a slip of paper that tells citizens of the existence of the Resident Committee (RC).. comes with address and telephone number.. kinda easy.. just open the notice board using a key my dad passed to me.. shift some existing announcement lower.. choose 6 identically colored pins (no idea why my dad want same color, all is the same).. pin up the slip of paper.. close back the 'door'.. make sure the lock is locked.. that's all.. just repeat it 27 times.. and to think i spent 1hr 15mins to finish the whole thing.. oh well.. other than the wierd stares residents give me as though i am vandalising the board.. the job's pretty easy.. except that some locks are malfunctioning.. and that i totally cannot find one of the notice board.. even with the map my dad gave me.. it just disappeared.. or maybe the construction worker neva put up in the first place..

other than this.. the other interesting thing is that i slept in the afternoon and had a 'stressful' dream.. can't remember what was that.. except that i had an inkling that people are suffering.. i tink.. looking forward to going Marine Parade Library to study.. at least pia abit.. and hope for the best.. otherwise i would be spending my June holidays in school stoning.. not exactly a good way to spend my holidays..

8:39 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Untitled

study study study.. what students are required to do during this March Holidays.. one which would make any JC student scream "HOLY CRAP!!! ONE WHOLE WEEK OF REST LOST!!!".. oh well.. its this March or the whole of June Holiday.. as if one week is not enough.. the new principal has implimented a 'u do well or else i kick your sorry ass back to yr 1 or make u come during June hols every weekday 8 to 5 till you can walk to school blindfolded' strategy to 'motivate' students.. not that effective on me.. only thing it made me do is to wonder how much power the principal has over students.. can they really kick students down one year? he don't seem to be kidding..

anyway.. went Shawn's house to study.. Jie Yan went too.. we studied a little before pia-ing a Maths Prelim paper throughout the morning.. cheong until like crazy.. just realized how much i had forgotten.. to my horror.. i found out that i didn't attend the Temperature Lecture at all.. uh-oh.. not good.. but that's not the main highlight.. the main thing is that Shawn make wine for me n Jie Yan to drink.. quite nice.. though a little too sweet.. the color v attractive.. Jie Yan had a v big reaction to the alcohol (Phenol?).. he turned RED!!! very red.. not only his face.. his arms and chest also.. wow.. no visible reaction on me.. but tink i may get a hangover tmr..

oh btw.. Shawn's house is a Ribena Paradise.. 2+ carton of the travel packet Ribena.. plus 2 bottles of Ribena syrup if i rmb correctly.. Yiwen would be estatic if she saw all those.. tried to smuggle one carton out to be put in AVA room.. but its just not the same trying to walk out of the house with a carton of Ribena stuffed in my bag.. oh well.. sorry Yiwen.. i'll try next time..

so.. the prospects of the coming days in the week looks good.. more studying.. what else less complicated can i hope for? i just wish that i won't become a drone before Sunday.. already seeing the symptoms of becoming one.. retardardness.. stoning.. looking like an idiot who had just landed on Earth.. and finding no common topic to talk about with people.. not considering other variables.. the dependent one would surely be Block Test..

till next time..

10:12 PM

`` stoningg

Sunday, March 12, 2006

~~Huang Cheng~~

did the usual Sunday routine as i would call it.. eat breakfast at the hawker centre downstairs with my family.. run some errands afters..

then meet up with Justin and Peifen at Esplanade Library to study.. i was late for 1hr 45 mins.. by that time i am left with 20 mins of studying.. oh well.. 1st time i started to study for block test.. not sure whether i am lucky that i did not go early.. cos they were complaining about the torture of listening to one horrendous pianist playing in the piano practice room in the library.. absolutely hopeless.. he plays a wrong note every other key.. at first i thought he was trying to play the song out with his memory.. barely forgivable since he played the same mistakes more than thrice in a row.. later found out that he actually have a score in front of him.. and Justin n Peifen had been listening for 1hr 45 mins.. pity their ears..

went to Raffles' Place BK for lunch after meeting up with Jie Yan, Connie, Tian Tian, Xi Ying, Ming Jue, Hu Nan, Benjamin, Justin's fren (sorry, 4got his name), Xiuyun n Yiwen.. Yiwen dressed up till she look like a little kid.. even the BK personal pointed to the Kiddy Meal for her order.. btw she got that meal, along with the free toy =).. something else happened there.. there was this wierd lady that came to borrow handphone.. was shocked cos she just plopped into the seat vacated by Tian Tian when she went to the washroom.. asked to borrow handphone.. i just stared at her.. Justin say don't haf.. den she saw Yiwen's toy.. asked if we still want.. Justin said it's a fren's.. so she just put down and walked away.. we were watching her after that.. walking around BK borrowing phone.. saw that she was trying to steal.. cos she took one guy's one and tried to walk away.. but he pulled her back.. so she sat down and pretended to talk.. we tink.. after awhile tink she still unsuccessful.. so she just grabbed someone's plastic bag when they were not looking n walked out.. Xiuyun and Hu Nan chased after her.. but couldnt catch her..

anyway.. walked to Victoria Concert Hall.. quite a distance away.. but was interesting cos Connie was having trouble walking fast in her high heels.. her steps were awkward, cos its her first time i heard..

Huang Cheng.. Hwa Chong JC's production.. i must say either i am so horrible in chinese, or the shows are too profound (or both).. cos out of the 3 performance, i only understood part of one ONLY.. the other i know is that the second skit is too draggy.. one of the scene is more than 10 mins long.. tedious especially to a mandarin idiot like me.. so instead of staring into blank space while trying to figure out the plot, i marvel at the lightings systems in VCH (sound systems not as interesting).. i must say that projecting light from backstage is a new idea.. and that the numerous profile lights and the built-in ladders to reach the light greatly impressed me.. also the curtains drawing speed is so much faster than NYJC's LT4.. plus the ability to lower props from the ceiling is not available to NYJC.. if not BYG would not be $8 per ticket.. wow.. though i am not sure about the skills of the lighting crew.. sadly their followspots haf different intensity.. and they shake too much.. the light does not move in a straight line but rather in a zig-zag.. last but not least.. they had a major screw-up.. in which the light that was suppose to come on didnt..

after that is nothing much.. continue suan Yiwen for looking like a small little girl (we rate her Pri 4 at the best).. went dinner at Marina Square with Jie Yan, Tian Tian and Peifen..

9:44 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Physics SPA

SPA skill A.. nightmare for all (except those few muggers who memorised word for word).. so troublesome that its the root cause of stress for all Physics students this few days.. counting all the amount of hair Physics students dropped or pulled out while studying for this test is enough to bury the one and only Mr Gilbert Tay.. lemme list out the topics and sub-topics of the test..

1. Problem Analysis
Dependent Variable
Other Variable and how they affect Dependent Variable

2. Investigation
Task
Hypothesis

3. Diagram and Set-up
Diagram
Choice of Apparatus

4. Measurements and Control
How Control Variables are kept constant
How Independent Variable is varied and measured accurately and reliably
How Dependent Variable is measured accurately and reliably

5. Procedure

6. Safety Precautions and Risk Assesment

that's about all the headings and sub-headings of all required field in a SPA Skill A test.. suppose to finish in 1 hr.. cant imagine what will happen if the question did not leak out.. impossible task.. tink many students would run on rampage.. and the zoo would be asked in to shoot us down.. just glad that it is over..

St Nicholas Girls School Carnival.. quite large scale.. considering that they haf pirate ship reverse bungee arcade blah blah.. Shawn asked me n Tracy to go.. then we managed to pull Jie Yan too.. meet a few ppl there.. MC 4 BYG (4got her name).. ASM for Heng Hen Ai (4got her name).. Samantha (Ah Feng).. Yue Siang (my cousin).. considering the crowd.. this is kinda lucky.. unfortunately, i keep knocking into little children along the way.. cant exactly help it especially when they are only until my waist.. couldnt remember ever being so small in primary school.. we spent most of our time at the arcade.. didnt know podracing was so easy.. n Tracy got er.. thrashed in X-Men vs Street Fighter by a little kid.. Striker 1945 III is fun especially with the X-36.. other than those few games we just simply toured the school.. school's bigger than NYJC.. but thelayout wastes alot of space.. the empty area between blocks is a sloping hill which makes it unusable..

cant tink of anything much.. except that i am left with 10 cent for the rest of the month.. tink i will understand how African people live with hunger..

9:59 PM

`` stoningg

Friday, March 10, 2006

School of Thought

School's pretty boring today.. nth much to talk about except that AVA's gonna be so much more busy with the upcoming MLCS and SYNERGY 2006.. hope i am doing SYNERGY.. not that i am racist or anything.. but the MLCS event i did before (same one, semifinals) was not a good experience.. we AVA people in the control room got pushed around.. it's sheer stupidity to request for AVA personals to help manage your event.. and then push them around so that you can do the controls yourself.. after the event still go complain to teachers that AVA people uncooperative.. no way i am doing an event for them again..

nxt highlight of the day.. SAKAE SUSHI.. not exactly class outing cos only 6 person go.. Xuan Sheng Zhiliang Justin Tiong Li Jeslin n me.. but we ate quite alot.. keep on ordering and taking plates off the conveyer belt.. Zhiliang can safely proclaim that he ate more than 20 plates.. tink everyone else ( maybe with exception of Jeslin) came close.. after we were bloated and could hardly take in another mouth.. we did the usual chit chat on latest happenings.. blah blah.. n den time to clear up the remaining food.. i got the 'honor' to eat sushi dipped in "Justin's Concoction".. which comprises of a light sauce solution with saturated wasabi dissolved in it.. tink i dropped some tears by the time i swallowed everything..

today's the 1st day of my tuition at Mr Tong's tuition centre called School of Thought.. i must admit that i learnt more during this one tuition session than i do during Mr Yee's tutorials in the whole week combined.. not that Mr Yee's a bad teacher.. he's kind enough to volunteer to take Mr Tong's class.. knowing that the last teacher dat did so got hell.. its just that he's not engaging enough to maintain the class's attention.. the most he can do is to attend to one table.. while the other 2 or 3 tables sleep.. i literally slept through his tutorial today.. but Mr Tong opened our thoughts out to the Dark Side of Media.. on the thoughts that the media tried to influence us since young.. from shows such as Justice League and Sesame Street.. didnt realise that there's no asian superhero till now..

tink i'll end off here.. Physics SPA skill A tmr.. just got the revision papers today.. can only say 2 word.. die liao..

11:36 PM

`` stoningg

Thursday, March 09, 2006

~Lightsabering~

main highlight of the day.. Shawn's LIGHTSABER.. Darth Vader master replica.. very cool.. only flaw is that it's full potential can only be shown in a dark room.. outside the sun made the beam's glow look pink.. so we look like a bunch of goondus wielding a pink stick attached to a black hilt (Vader's hilt by the way).. but in lt4 with lights off or slightly turned on.. with a mildly-lagging camera phone.. the saber's beauty is shown..

oh btw.. many got knocked by the saber today.. 1st look at the $230 weapon is that the beam is a fluorescent bulb.. but turns out to be a polycarbon thingy.. very durable.. can safely say wacked 30 some people more than a hundred times.. no damage whatsoever.. poor Shawn.. must haf been heart-broken whenever it hit someone.. oh.. and Mr Gilbert Tay is so fascinated with the lightsaber.. one of those kena whacked is him (naturally).. aside from his usual crapping of which includes " I don't like lightsabers because another JC used the concept for the Science Competition and they won.." .. blah blah.. Gilbert Tay is kinda nice guy.. one that i feel we can joke with and laugh together.. can see that he really cares for students.. just that his antics and his actions gives other the impression that he is a very attention-seeking guy.. and his vertical attribute don't exactly help improve his image.. imagine him jumping up and down during morning assembly just to look over students' head and see who's the person making the announcement..

on another note.. i just realise how good my chem teacher mr matthew soh is.. just 1 lesson n i learnt more than i had in all those organic chem lectures.. though i am still way behind my class.. tink i should be able to catch up in time for the block test in 2 weeks time..

PE is the usual SNAG.. which is a minature version of golf.. starting to get a little more interesting when we actually play the game instead of practicing how to swing a club.. n the pre-SNAG training is also better.. at least i sweat during PE now..

also.. i am glad to say that my feeling of melancholy is finally lifted.. maybe cos of playing with the lightsaber.. the "post-production blues".. now i am feeling more motivated to study.. for once.. hope it last till block test at least..

for all the enjoyment today.. i made 1 mistake.. dat is not telling Frank dat i am not going 4 morning duty.. ended up short of person.. Mr Narwaani not exactly v pleased with me now Frank says.. oh well.. he isn't a good teacher-in-charge anyway.. always come to the AVA area n say the standard phrase "everything ok?" .. dat's his duty for the day.. at least Mrs Heng understands n give suggestions to us rather than asking us to do things with no second options.. so be it..

9:23 PM

`` stoningg

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

~~ Another Wednesday ~~

lemme see.. not sure what to write.. so just write what comes to my mind..

today started out like the usual wednesday.. boring GP.. blah blah.. at least i didn't stone for the whole day like yesterday.. can say that the only highlight of the day would be the cca bazaar.. of which i can say i didn't know until yesterday..

started out in total chaos.. no proper booth.. no extension cord.. n not forgetting the 6 other ccas asking us to lend them some extension.. got everything settled in the end.. then realised that we do not haf the performance plan.. had to keep asking junyi on what's next.. didn't even prepare to advertise for our cca.. just duty throughout the 2+ hr.. but at least got ard 10+ ppl sign up..

unexpectedly.. xi ying jie jie came to visit!! still wearing project x t-shirt.. though in AJC le.. can see that she's still v attached to this school.. but sad sia.. gotta leave us.. 176 she is.. even taller than when i tip-toe.. which goes to show how short i am.. anyway.. hope CCS's recruitment is better than last yr.. poor jie yan's the only guy in last yr's intake..

nxt.. glad to see that my scratch-on sticker on my phone is holding up fine.. except the 'N-Jammer Canceller' one.. i pasted it abit slanted.. n it got a scratch through the middle..

tmr's shawn's birthday.. if u r reading this.. HAPPIE BIRTHDAE!! on a less happy note.. i am not able to buy your lightsaber.. so sorry.. no time n i cldn't get the manpower..

last before i end.. my cousin's grandma passed away recently (not sure when, but is less than a week i guess).. was shocked when i heard the news.. partially is cos is there such thing as coincidence? maybe.. but i don't tink now's the time to ask..

dat's all i wanna say.. for now..

9:45 PM

`` stoningg

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Back Again..

a very late post.. considering that i haf not blogged for 3 mths.. ok.. where to start??

more or less 4gotten much that happened this yr except ~{NR~}們~{5D0W~}雲崗2006.. that was deeply rooted cos of how attached i feel to the event.. though the lights n sound grp is difficult to stay united.. considering that we are split into 2 subgroups for the 2 plays and that we rarely get into contact with each other except during meetings.. but i feel everyone is fun to be with.. nxt, the production's main group would be the actors.. not sure how they r doing.. but personally i feel more attached to justin's.. maybe cos i spent most of my time following their play.. or perhaps their script is the less chim of the 2..

the props crew led by jieyi is also very impressive.. working till late everyday to get the backdrop n the quilt (which later was not used) done up.. they cooperated with the lights n sound grp.. mostly giving in to us in stage placing.. rather moving their props than asking us to shift our light.. publicity nxt.. without them (n the every-so-loud yiyuan) no one would come watch ~{NR~}們~{5D0W~}雲崗2006.. without them we would also starve during the last few days before the performance, cos dinner is bought by them..

last but not least.. the 2 'laoda' as i wld call.. they keep saying that they haf not done enough.. but to me what they'd done is good enough.. it kept us going and led us to a successful performance.. special thanks to those that i know who came to support.. Poh Long, K luon, Vinson, Cai Zhao, Yong Ting, Kenneth (thanks for the Advent Children DVD), Shawn, MS, Yi-Tien, Sibbin, Tracy, Yu Feng (what was he doing there??), Wan Ting, Samantha, Pris, Pam, Jeslin, Xuan Sheng, Zhi Liang, Gilbert Tay, Gwendolyn, Beverly, Sin Yee, Gladys, Tina, (all i can rmb now)..

now that everything is over.. its back to studies again.. great isnt it?? i really miss going home late.. after 1 mth of taking bus when the sky is dark.. now not used to the fact that as i board the bus i can see ants crawling on the road.. normally it wld be too dark.. post production blues.. very serious indeed.. throughout feburary i look forward to ~{0W~}雲崗 everyday after school.. now all i can look forward to is only to go home and study.. how great that is..

tink cos of that, i had been stoning throughout today.. no idea what i am tinking.. but i am tinking of something.. i tink so..

at least i found something to do when i am at home.. mod (modified) my hp a little.. put a 'zero system' sticker on it.. looks kinda ok, so i put another 2.. one with the N-jammer canceller and the other one with the Phase-Shift Armor System.. the N-jammer one is kinda crooked.. oh well.. 1st time trying the scratch on sticker anyway..

tink that's so much for now.. oh btw..since this is the 1st skin i tried.. any glitch.. tell me asap..

9:49 PM

`` stoningg

Saturday, July 24, 2004

today was a crazy day...1st is mr soon scold e whole sch at flag raising...the usual...late 4 flag raising...hp stolen...but he actually used e word get lost...in front of spf students...wad the heck...
den next is mr lee...haix...tink he worried more abt our studies den us...wad teach argumentative 4 6 wks so tt we wont use argumentative 4 o level compo...crazy...
mdm tan quite ok...got test so dun tink she can do anything abt us...but verily tan start suaning ppl again...tink even IT also can hear her voice now...haiz...
last of all...of course...is ms huang...planned e remedial...say e time n location...giv us hmwk...den cancel it at e last minute...waaaahhhh...haix...dunno lah...seems lyk lately every1 so distant...dun tok much anymore...not much 2 msg abt...haiz...tink i m getting abit retarded...
later got ncc steamboat or wadeva at marina bay...tink gonna b very ex...haiz...also...dis wkend also chalet...hope i can make it thru...hmwk load sure sky rocket...

7:34 AM

`` stoningg